I made a mistake...
Here's is everything. I didn't know where to write this, so I'm writing it everywhere that you might see it. I love you so much. The truth is, I hate this. I hate this relationship that we have now. I should have told you before. I'm so afraid of losing you that I just expect the worst from you now. You don't come at 7 in the morning, so I expect you not to show up or to show up 2 hours later. I ask you to go somewhere, so you don't. I'm just waiting for you to break up with me, because I can't do it myself. I feel like I'm pulling you behind. I feel like this isn't right anymore because you aren't happy. You say you are, but are you really? I keep hurting you over and over again and you never say anything until we get into a fight. This is what I mean. Are you really happy? It doesn't seem like it anymore. I love you so much that I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm afraid to ask you anything because I'm afraid it will hurt you. Please, understand. I want to work this out, yet I'm not sure we can anymore. I don't want to hurt you and yet I feel like that's all I can do. I'm so angry at you because you aren't prooving me wrong! Damnit, I love you so much Michael. Please, please, please understand. Though, you are probably so mad at me right now it is hard to understand. I need you and I want you and I love you. I just want what's best for us. I want you and yes...yes I lied to make you happy. I pretend to be happy to everyone. That's how I hide myself. That's my way of not getting hurt and hoping to ghodd that no one else gets hurt. But they always do, because they don't understand. Please, for once, just understand. Understand that I need you when I don't. Understand that I need you to love me. Understand that...I miss you. That it's not quite 11 yet....

understand that I was wrong and I made a very big mistake.

I made a mistake...
Here's is everything. I didn't know where to write this, so I'm writing it everywhere that you might see it. I love you so much. The truth is, I hate this. I hate this relationship that we have now. I should have told you before. I'm so afraid of losing you that I just expect the worst from you now. You don't come at 7 in the morning, so I expect you not to show up or to show up 2 hours later. I ask you to go somewhere, so you don't. I'm just waiting for you to break up with me, because I can't do it myself. I feel like I'm pulling you behind. I feel like this isn't right anymore because you aren't happy. You say you are, but are you really? I keep hurting you over and over again and you never say anything until we get into a fight. This is what I mean. Are you really happy? It doesn't seem like it anymore. I love you so much that I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm afraid to ask you anything because I'm afraid it will hurt you. Please, understand. I want to work this out, yet I'm not sure we can anymore. I don't want to hurt you and yet I feel like that's all I can do. I'm so angry at you because you aren't prooving me wrong! Damnit, I love you so much Michael. Please, please, please understand. Though, you are probably so mad at me right now it is hard to understand. I need you and I want you and I love you. I just want what's best for us. I want you and yes...yes I lied to make you happy. I pretend to be happy to everyone. That's how I hide myself. That's my way of not getting hurt and hoping to ghodd that no one else gets hurt. But they always do, because they don't understand. Please, for once, just understand. Understand that I need you when I don't. Understand that I need you to love me. Understand that...I miss you. That it's not quite 11 yet....

understand that I was wrong and I made a very big mistake.