||Ohai again. And campaign.*After being turned undead by the cruel, deep-voiced Vruul, the party is unleashed in the nearby city to kill innocent people, which they cannot muster the will to fight the telepathic orders. After being herded onto a spelled ground by the city's religious clergy, the party is teleported to some random, unknown field, along with 30 or so other zombies and skeletons. The following is real, quote for quote. (or close enough in some cases)*|
Andrew:"Where the hell are we?"
Brian: "A field."
Andrew: "I hate you."
Brian: "What are we supposed to do now?"
Andrew: "Why don't we try contacting Vellose telepathicly? (alias for Vruul)"
Laura: "Vellose was just his fake name, his real name is Vruul."
Andrew:"So why don't we try contacting Vruulose?"
Brian:"You want to contact the guy that turned us undead and made us kill people and then get stuck out here?"
Andrew:"I'm calling him now. (Concentration check, succeed)"
Andrew:"Hey, what's going on?"
Vruul:"Not much, just sitting arou....Hey, where are you?"
Andrew:"We're in a field somewhere. Can you help us?"
Brian(looking at map):"Hey, is that Vruulose? Ask him if we should try to find a water source."
Andrew(to Vruul):"Hey, hold on a sec..."
Andrew:"I'M ON THE PHONE."
Andrew(to Vruul):"Anyway, where were we?"
Brian:"Fine, I'll try calling him.(Concentration check)"
Vruul(to Andrew):"Hey, hold on, I'm getting another call. *click*"
Laura:"Why don't we just have a conference call or something?"
Brian:"Hey, I was just wondering, couldn't we just have a conference call with all of us at the same time?"
Vruul:"Nah, that's not part of my service plan. I can only take one call at a time."
Brian:"Oh, fine. I guess I'll talk to you later..."
Andrew:"Hey, that's some nice hold music you've got."
Vruul:"Thanks. I pay extra for it."
*The party manages to get directions to a Pure well, where one zombie says they will find the Order of the Resemblance, which can return them all to life. They travel for 2 days straight, not needing food, water, or rest, until they reach a lighthouse on the coast with a small wooden shack built next to it.*
Brian:"What should we do now?"
Laura:"Dont we have like 30 zombies with us?"
Andrew:"We could get them to all reenact 'Thriller', but that'll get old fast."
Brian:"Let's try contacting Vruulose again. (Concentration check)"
DM (me):"You get a busy signal."
Andrew:"Great. Now he doesn't even have call waiting anymore."
*Brian enters the shack and talks to a burly man about how to get into the lighthouse and the Pure mine powering it. Then leaves and Andrew finds the secret entrance. The three go in with an armless zombie, Fred. There they meet a very unorganized company of gnomes, which one of them promises to help them with a spell that will weaken Vruul's hold on their minds. He touches each of them individually, and nothing happens, but he assures them the spell is in effect.*
Brian:"Ok, now we've just got to get him to touch all of those other zombies."
Laura:"CROWD-SURF THE GNOME!!!"
*After going outside and crowd-surfing the gnome...*
Suddenly, Vruul bursts out of the wooden shack and shouts, "There you are!!"
Andrew:"Wait, where the hell did he come from?"
*Battle ensues, party obtains amulet that can bring them back to life and Vruul is forced to retreat.*
Vruul:"This is not the end! Next time, I will do more than just kill you, I promise!!"
Vruul Dimension-door's far away.
The door to the cabin opens and Vruul starts running away.
I just had to say...
Best. Telepathy. Ever.