Socriatic Humor(A superimposed sign reads: And now: Socrates meets the Worlds Most Impatient Man! Next, we open to a rock structure, where Socrates, dressed in a white robe with long white beard, approaches Mr. Temper, dressed dirtily with black hair.)

Socrates: Pardon me, sir, but I have been on a long, solitary journey, and have done much thinking. Would you mind if I asked you few questions regarding your definition of justice?

(Mr. Temper, up until this point, has completely ignored Socrates, and is instead investigating the different rocks upon which he is standing. Realizing that someone is talking to him, he looks up at Socrates, not having heard a word he said.)

Mr. Temper: What?

Socrates (not realizing that Mr. Temper has not heard him): Of course, I am referring to justice as it stands in the human realm as well as the idea of a holy justice that exists within the gods realm. To examine one without the other would be preposterous. (chuckle)

Mr. Temper: Listen, Im not really--

Socrates: Well, I was thinking that justice as it applies to the human world is merely a--

(Mr. Temper punches Socrates squarely in the face. Sounds of uproarious applause ensue. Socrates falls out of picture. Cut to history show host, sitting behind desk.)

History Asshole: And so Socrates learned a very valuable lesson: never engage the French in philosophical discussion. As history would have it, Socrates recorded this and other philosophical truths and discussions in his widely known book, Dealing With the French: Socrates Discovers Germany. Following the popularity of his book, Socrates was able to retire from his days of wandering to settle in a small Greek town. But the story does not end here. Socrates continued to annoy the locals when, unbeknownst to him, he developed a hearing impediment.

(We now see Socrates walking along a dirt road next to a man carrying heavy objects, obviously a laborer. The two walk shoulder to shoulder.)

Socrates: Then if I believe in supernatural beings, as you assert, if these supernatural beings are gods in any sense, we shall reach the conclusion which I mentioned just now when I said that you were testing me with riddles for your own amusement, by stating first that I do not believe in gods, and then again that I do, since I believe in supernatural beings.

Laborer Bob (still looking straight ahead, towards his destination off in the distance): Please, leave me alone.

Socrates: If on the other hand these supernatural beings are bastard children of the gods by nymphs or other mothers, as they are reputed to be, who in the world would believe in the children of gods and not in the gods themselves? It would be as ridiculous as to believe in the young of horses or donkeys and not in horses and donkeys themselves.

Laborer Bob (slightly more angry): Would you shut the fuck up, please?

Socrates: No, of course there is no avoiding the conclusion that such charges could be brought against me as only a means of testing the mind. It is outside the bounds of possibility to convince any living person with a smattering of intelligence that belief in the supernatural.

(Socrates continues his rant as they walk into the distance. We hear History Assholes voiceover)

History Asshole: Little is known about the death of Socrates. Some believe he became a hermit in the mountains; others, that he chose to be buried in an unmarked grave. There are even a few who hold the belief that he was beaten to death by a common laborer in the street. (when this line is delivered, Laborer Bob casts off his heavy items, knocks Socrates to the ground, and strikes him repeatedly. Fade out.)

Socriatic Humor(A superimposed sign reads: And now: Socrates meets the Worlds Most Impatient Man! Next, we open to a rock structure, where Socrates, dressed in a white robe with long white beard, approaches Mr. Temper, dressed dirtily with black hair.)

Socrates: Pardon me, sir, but I have been on a long, solitary journey, and have done much thinking. Would you mind if I asked you few questions regarding your definition of justice?

(Mr. Temper, up until this point, has completely ignored Socrates, and is instead investigating the different rocks upon which he is standing. Realizing that someone is talking to him, he looks up at Socrates, not having heard a word he said.)

Mr. Temper: What?

Socrates (not realizing that Mr. Temper has not heard him): Of course, I am referring to justice as it stands in the human realm as well as the idea of a holy justice that exists within the gods realm. To examine one without the other would be preposterous. (chuckle)

Mr. Temper: Listen, Im not really--

Socrates: Well, I was thinking that justice as it applies to the human world is merely a--

(Mr. Temper punches Socrates squarely in the face. Sounds of uproarious applause ensue. Socrates falls out of picture. Cut to history show host, sitting behind desk.)

History Asshole: And so Socrates learned a very valuable lesson: never engage the French in philosophical discussion. As history would have it, Socrates recorded this and other philosophical truths and discussions in his widely known book, Dealing With the French: Socrates Discovers Germany. Following the popularity of his book, Socrates was able to retire from his days of wandering to settle in a small Greek town. But the story does not end here. Socrates continued to annoy the locals when, unbeknownst to him, he developed a hearing impediment.

(We now see Socrates walking along a dirt road next to a man carrying heavy objects, obviously a laborer. The two walk shoulder to shoulder.)

Socrates: Then if I believe in supernatural beings, as you assert, if these supernatural beings are gods in any sense, we shall reach the conclusion which I mentioned just now when I said that you were testing me with riddles for your own amusement, by stating first that I do not believe in gods, and then again that I do, since I believe in supernatural beings.

Laborer Bob (still looking straight ahead, towards his destination off in the distance): Please, leave me alone.

Socrates: If on the other hand these supernatural beings are bastard children of the gods by nymphs or other mothers, as they are reputed to be, who in the world would believe in the children of gods and not in the gods themselves? It would be as ridiculous as to believe in the young of horses or donkeys and not in horses and donkeys themselves.

Laborer Bob (slightly more angry): Would you shut the fuck up, please?

Socrates: No, of course there is no avoiding the conclusion that such charges could be brought against me as only a means of testing the mind. It is outside the bounds of possibility to convince any living person with a smattering of intelligence that belief in the supernatural.

(Socrates continues his rant as they walk into the distance. We hear History Assholes voiceover)

History Asshole: Little is known about the death of Socrates. Some believe he became a hermit in the mountains; others, that he chose to be buried in an unmarked grave. There are even a few who hold the belief that he was beaten to death by a common laborer in the street. (when this line is delivered, Laborer Bob casts off his heavy items, knocks Socrates to the ground, and strikes him repeatedly. Fade out.)