I said something REALLY embarrassing a few years back and it still makes me cringe in the dead of night.
I saved a guy's life by pulling him out of the path of oncoming traffic. He had put himself in the road to commit suicide. However, my pulling him out of the road turned into me accidentally judo flipping him into a blackberry patch. He was still grateful but I apologized for months.
The person I was dating in college bought a luchador hoodie with the hood being a luchador mask. They knocked on the door wearing this hoodie. I opened the door and just laughed out of pure joy that they were wearing this awesome hoodie. They took it as an insult...that I was laughing art them to tease & ridicule. They wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night out of anger even after me explaining frantically that my laughter did not equal teasing. You'd have thought that knowing me for as long as they did they would have known that. And what did they expect? Did they want me to purr like a cat or start a wrestling match right there?
In 1999, I was flying from LA to Seattle after my family's first trip to Disneyland. Walking through the plane to find my seat, this guy in first class began to hardcore flirt with me. Oh he was DREAMY. Shoulder length dark hair, goatee, had the grunge rock star thing going on. Totally my aesthetic. I smiled, got all blushy and girly...but kept walking to my seat. I sit down and my brother starts to FREAK OUT.
"Do you realize who was just flirting with you?" he said with high pitched excitement.
"No clue, but he was dreamy!" I say, slightly confused. Should I know this dude?
As if announcing to the rest of the plane, my brother responds "THAT WAS CHRIS CORNELL!!!"
My brother then dumps his luggage into my lap, grabs his teenage poetry journal, and ran to first class to get an autograph. I just sat there...with all of my brother's shit...still soaked form Splash Mountain...
Edward James Olmos said that I was amazing and hugged me.
I cried during a Bob's Burgers episode...or two.
I had a panic attack for no reason last year while shopping at a the Total Wine & More store. Just stood there in front of the tequila and sobbed. Store clerked asked if I was alright. I lied and said something along the lines of "Oh this audiobook I'm listening to blah blah blah". I still to this day have no idea what triggered it.
I got kicked out of class for sneezing. Actually, this happened more than once. Old teachers who should have retired the moment they decided that they hated kids...
I applied for a job at Rifftrax 6 years ago.
In junior high, I punched a guy for grabbing my ass. I threw him against a wall, slugged him in the shoulder and boomed" If you EVER touch me or anyone else in this school like that again, I will drink your fucking blood". A teacher (who had known me since kindergarden) overheard the swear word and approached. More concerned than shocked, she said "MARY! What is going on? I can't believe I just heard that word!"
I let the guy go and looked into the teacher's eyes "He followed me from lunch telling me he was going to do all these horrible sex things to my mom and then grabbed my ass."
The teacher, swear to God, grew 4 feet...stepped up to the guy and slammed him against the wall. "Whatever Mary said that she'd do to...I will do a 100 times over. Are we clear?"
Guy never bothered anyone ever again.
I playtested Portal 2 and was kidnapped by the Team Fortress team. I got to see all of the original animatics and some finished animations of the "Meet The..." shorts. I had no idea what the hell I was watching *LOL*
I took a walk through Times Square by myself at night. I loved it. I felt safe. I ate at a deli, went to Madame Tussaud's, and just drank in every light and sound. I'm a quiet town kind of gal, but I love visiting NYC.
I once sang my heart out during karaoke...felt no fear...no shame...and had a ton of fun. Got applause and a free drink out of it! The song was "Somebody to Love" by Queen and I may have been a little drunk