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  • The one with the intro.

    2 days ago

    Skilltacular Producer @ RT Games

    Let’s talk about games!

    What’s up, y’all!

    Welcome to what will be my random ramblings about games. Each post, I’ll aim to cover a few of the games I dabbled with over the past 12 months. Board games, video games, yard games, hell, maybe some IRL stuff like escape rooms or good ol’ tag. Who knows?  As a game dev, I might have a different view than some, but in the end, I’m just a dude that loves all things Games. First, let me touch on who the heck am I and what do I do at Rooster Teeth?

    What would I say I do here?


    I’m Brian Reilly. I’m a producer with Rooster Teeth Games. I’ve been ‘round these parts for about two and half years. Originally, I was brought on to help our internal dev team. I’ve since expanded my hat collection to include a hand in our game publishing efforts and heading up all of RT’s board games. I feel that having this sort of gig demands that you have a decent working knowledge of what’s hot or not. That said, I play lots of games, but finish very few. If you want to know more about my background (school, other jobs/ games, favorite candy bar) just ask.

    As we go on, shoot me questions, pose counterpoints, recommend games, whatever. I’m writing on because we’re all part of the best community ever, of all time. Eventually, I’ll bust out my fancy review scale. For now, all you need to know is that it’s pizza-based, and thus, the greatest scale to be created.

    That’s it for now. More soon! Hit me up here or on twitter @Skilltacular



  • It's Back!

    1 week ago


    Hey every one Mountain Nerd is back and this time I take you with me to Kreepy Geek Con! A small town horror convention with a big heart.

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  • 5 Classy & 5 Trashy Horror Films.

    3 weeks ago


    Good HALLOWW DAAAYY to yoooou Giirrlllss and Ghoooulllss...and....guys too. HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN...AAWooOOOOOoooOOo *Ahem*

    Yeah, it's Halloween yet again...a time for kids in cheap-ass costumes to knock on the doors of strangers and demand treats they haven't earned, a time for adults in inappropriate costumes to get drunk and have awkward sexploits next to a guy in a clown outfit...and...a time for losers like me to sit in the dark all night by themselves and enjoy the TRUE meaning of Halloween...HORROR...specifically of the movie variety. But what kinds of horror? Are we looking for some fine dining? A film dripping with atmosphere and more quietly chilling than bombastic. Or do you go full trash? Watch a film full of gore, sex and loud noises. If you're looking for something inbetween, you've come to the wrong blog, because today I'm taking a look at 5 sets of films from opposite ends of that spectrum, 5 films that offer classy frights and intelligent design....the other 5....are just downright trash, but in the best possible way.

    Few ground rules and I said before, we're not looking for middle ground horror that maybe offers the traditional scares but in a more creative, refined way, so films like 'The Thing' or 'The Conjuring' aren't in the running. We're also looking for GOOD examples of these films, it's not a matter of just being classy or trashy...but being that and also managing to be good. For the sake of elegancy and avoiding repetition, some entries will be multiple films of the same 'franchise' that all match the reasoning for their inclusion. And finally, this isn't a Top 5 of best to worst so much as it is 5 films in a loosely organised list, a grab-bag of high quality examples of both kinds of these horrors.

    Also, before we begin...I guess I need to establish what defines a 'Classy' or 'Trashy' horror. To do this, I looked at the things that the average horror is generally known for, and what tends to put less eager moviegoers off the genre. So we're talking the obvious stuff...a lot of blood/gore/grisly imagery, an unhealthy quantity of sexual content and nudity, and the douchey horndog characters that come with that territory. A paper thin premise and corny writing...and crucially...jump scares, the loud noises and big bangs that tend to take the place of more creative or genuinely unnerving frights. That's not to say the entries on the 'Classy' side don't dabble in some grisly images, sexual content or shock horror, it's just the frequency and purpose of their inclusion. 

    ALRIGHTY...that was a lot of pre-talk...let's get to the good stuff, huh? HERE WE GOOoOOOOO.

    5 Classy Horror Films.

    5. The Orphanage (2007).

    Kicking things off with some WORLD CINEMA?! Oooh, very classy. Often mistakenly assumed to be a Guilermo del Toro film, mostly due to the fact his name's plastered all over the damn DVD case, but also just because it really does have the feel of a Del Toro production in themes, setting and tone, 'The Orphanage'...or...'El Orfanato' if we're going to use the native Spanish tongue of the film itself for its name, is actually directed by J.A. Bayoana. The name may not sound all too familiar right now, but last year he did A Monster Calls, which got a fairly high amount of praise, and next year? He's directing a little film called Jurassic World's...not really called that, but yeah. The Orphanage was his first feature film, and it made a big splash back in 2007, garnering a lot of acclaim, and being a big influence on later films of similar setting and premise from that point (The Awakening in particular feels practically like a inferior remake). The basic premise is a once orphaned and adopted girl returning to the orphanage she grew up in in to re-open it as a facility to take care of disabled children. Her son, Simon...with an accent on the 'o' that I forget how to do on my keyboard proclaims to have befriended a mysterious, sack-wearing child, and after some other events and revelations, goes missing. What follows is a grim, atmospheric story of a mother's grief and potential madness at the loss of her child, and the lengths she'll go to find him again. Whilst there are some jumps and bangs to be had in this film, it's not in the business of cheap scares, spreading the shocks across the length of the film, and focusing instead of building an atmosphere of dread, and also, much like Del Toro's own dabbles into the horror genre, the story and characters. It's not a fun flick, and by the end you may end up feeling just a tad haunted by the events that have unfolded, but it's a terrific and influential chiller that's well worth a look, if you can stomach the TRUE horror of subtitles! AaAAAAAAAGGHHH!!

    4. The VVitch (2015).

    Remaining a little niche, but switching to the English language, here's another depressing and dark horror flick that deals with upsetting things happening to children! Hooray! Another début film from a promising director that will no doubt go onto bigger and better things in the future, Robert Eggers' occasionally sub-headed 'New-England Folktale' is set in the 17th century, and follows a family banished from their plantation community due to...what else, religious disputes, and we follow them as they attempt to build a new life for themselves, outside of their community, and seemingly, beyond of the reach of their Lord. And you'll be happy to know that they set up a nice place for themselves, bond together as a family, and just have a terrific time from start to finish. Oh that's not right, they're all miserable and the baby gets kidnapped by the titular WITCH...or...VVITCH, cuz that looks cool I guess. What follows is less your traditional horror story, and more a deeply unsettling drama about a impoverished family struggling to keep things together as their whole life comes down in ruin around them. There's no jump scares or traditional 'scares' in general, just a lot of uneasy conversations and deeply grisly, prolonged sequences of suffering. Also, there's a goat? Don't know if you've heard about that SHIT, but there's a gosh dang goat, and the goat's name is Black Phillip, and he only dang dances about and stuff, so yeah...check that out, yo. Goaty antics aside, this is not an easy watch, it's more or less 90 minutes of cold, damp hell, with a heap helping of deeply unpleasant surrealist imagery, which only escalates further and further the more the dark forces of the forest around them start to torment and toy with the family, tearing them apart, and turning them against each other in the process. The ending is suitably dark and weird, and the film won't be to everyone's tastes, but if you're looking to have a downright miserable Halloween, but an atmospheric and engrossing one nontheless? This is one to check out.

    3. Let the Right One In/Let Me In (2008/2010).

    Oh, hey! Another directorial breakout horror about children going through terrible things! I'm detecting a pattterrrnn...

    I'm including both the 2008 original and its 2010 British/American remake as one entry because, honestly, you can't go wrong with either, and in some respects, the remake is a more visually interesting, easily enjoyed affair for some, being in English, instead of the original's Swedish dialect and general...atmosphere of a pale, bland and cold looking locale. Tomas Alfredson may be crashing and burning right now with his trainwreck of a film 'The Snowman' but back in 2008 he was smashing it with this deeply...deeply twisted semi-romantic (Like...we're not talking...a lotta love here, honestly) horror drama that followed in 2006's Pan's Labyrinth's footsteps to become a breakout world cinema horror(ish) sensation. The basic premise here is about a lonely young boy who gets bullied at school getting a new neighbour, a young girl seemingly (Aheh) around his age, and after some awkward first interactions, the two bond, they become friends, and the boy starts to fall for his new, mysterious companion. The problem? Oh, she's a vampire...yeah. She, and what appears to be her father arrive, and soon a series of grisly murders start taking place...are they connected? Welllll...what do you think? What unfolds is a blossoming, awkward friendship/romance set against the backdrop of an ever escalating vampiric..situation in the neighbourhood that has its fair share of grisly imagery, shocking twists, and an ending that, after haunting you, will leave you thinking for quite some time. Although the two versions vary in some small, but key regions, they're both damn fine films, and Let Me In, directed by Matt Reeves (Director of Dawn/War of the Planet of the Apes, and the upcoming Batman film) is the rare foreign movie remake that does more than just work, instead potentially beating out the original, depending on how much you liked the unique atmosphere of the original. You can't go wrong with either, and this is one deep, disturbing pair of horror dramas that's well worth your time.

    2. Hush (2016).

    The most recent entry on this list, and perhaps the closest to being a middle-ground horror film in terms of content, I've included it in this blog because of the way in which it dabbles in a familiar genre of horror, but in a way you'd perhaps, not expect. Hush, a Netflix exclusive home invasion horror by 'Oculus' director Mike Flanagan (Who went on to direct this year's truly grisly but engrossing Gerald's Game) looks on paper like everything you'd expect from a horror of this kin. Guy in a wacky mask...innocent victim to prey on...gore ensues, right? Well...yes, but also no. Hush is less a traditional slasher flick, and more of a tense game of cat & mouse between a serial killer with the twisted urge to toy with his victims before offing them, and the resident of a remote, forest secluded home, a young woman and writer who just happens to be deaf. What ensues is an inventive and entertaining duel between two minds as he attempts to gain access to the house, or goad her outside, and she tries to send a message for help, and escape. Although it sags a little in the middle, it's a slickly directed, tension based horror which forgoes the use of jump scares and instead focuses on taking you on a thrill-ride that has few words, but a lot of impact. Initially it may seem that the killer has the upper hand on a woman who can't hear where he is, or what he's doing, but when you've spent so much of your life training to be functional despite your disability and pushing forwards despite the shortcomings people assume you have, it quickly becomes apparent that you are not one to be fucked with. A tension based thriller with a lot of creative ideas and a fun dynamic between its two core characters, Hush, despite a few rather gory scenes, is not the film you think it is, and it's one you simply have no excuse to pass on, because...I know you have Netflix, I KNOW YOU DO. I SAW YOU OVER THERE, WATCHING STRANGER THINGS, HUH? 

    1. Silence of the Lambs (1991).

    Going for a real obscure one here, I know. There's a huge debate as to whether or not this is a horror film, but generally, the people who don't consider it a horror film are the sort of people who wouldn't want to admit a horror film was not only this interesting, but also that a horror film could sweep the Academy Awards back in its respective year. Well, much how other entries in this CLASSY portion of the blog blend their horror with other genres, Silence of the Lambs, one of the most iconic films of its era, is a crime thriller...but it's also a bloody horror film, so stop whining about it, ya crusty old cretins. And it's pretty obvious why its on here, it's not your USUAL HORROR FILM, after all. There's no jump scares, there's no spooky house or supernatural force, there's just the horrors of humanity, and the people who venture into the darkness to capture them. Jodie Foster is terrific as Clarice Starling, on the hunt for Buffalo Bill, a serial killer who kidnaps and skins young women, and wears their flesh in an attempt at some sort of twisted transformation. Yeah. Naturally, of course, she's sent to interview Hannibal Lecter, a hyper-intelligent killer with a taste for human flesh, currently behind bars, who may know something about the kidnapper. It's a race to rescue his latest victim before he kills her, and you better believe some twisted shit's gonna go down before you get to the end of this cinematic classic a horror film. It may not go BOO, but the way it's filmed, the themes it explores and how it does so? You'd be foolish to call that anything but horror, and Hannibal Lecter is one of the horror genre's most intriguing characters, played fantastically, iconically even, by Sir Anthony Hopkins. I honestly don't really need to sell this film, its legacy and acclaim speaks for itself, but maybe the fact that it's one of the most lauded horror films of all time escapes people's mind, as there's an active mentality that it simply doesn't fit in the genre. It may dabble in several, but Horror is no doubt one of them, and as a dark, engrossing detective story with some truly great character performances and unforgettable movie moments? It's about as classy a horror film as you can get ...considering there's a scene where someone flicks semen. Yep. That's a thing. Lovely.

    Ooh, well these all sound lovely, huh? Perfect for those not so big into the trashy horror films that dominate the real classy flicks there.

    ...Anyway, let's go jump straight into the garbage, roll around in some blood and flash our tits, because's time for some TRASHY horror films to entertain you this Hallow'd of Eeeeeeves.

    5 Trashy Horror Films.

    5. Trick R Treat (2007).

    As I said, we're jumping headfirst into all the glorious horror trash with our first entry, the very definition of a cult success. Trick 'R Treat, the directorial debut (Another one of those) of Michael Dougherty, who's now currently working on the upcoming Godzilla 2, had a truly bumpy release. Originally filmed and planned as a cinema released film, it got held back for two years, had a few festival screenings and then dumped to DVD in October of 2007. Presumably WB didn't know how to market it, or didn't think it'd do well enough financially, but despite its quiet DVD release, it's gone on to become a firm favourite among fans of the genre, and it's hard not to see why. It's a blood soaked, goofy celebration of all things Halloween and all things trashy horror. There's blood, there's boobs, there's jump scares, swearing, horny teens...monsters, serial killers, creepy name it, it's all here. It's a semi-anthology that tells individual stories taking place around the same place on the same night (Halloween, in case you were wondering), but they all connect together in some way, it's all rather a gloriously dumb way. To give away specific details would be to spoil the fun, but needless to say there's a little bit of everything in this film, and it's all done in a campy and supremely tongue in cheek manner that makes this an especially fun and rewatchable Halloween flick. But it is a trash one, in the best possible, well crafted, lovingly thought out way. Sam, the little sack...boy...wait, that's taken. The little bagchild who is very literally the poster child for this film is a severely underrated and fun horror character, originating from an animated short made by the same director, who clearly has a very dark sense of humour indeed. If you like your horror knowingly dumb, dripping with gore and loaded with all the usual trash presented in a gloriously self-aware display of gratuity...this is a film for you. Just make sure to follow the rules of Halloween before sitting down to watch it...ahh..that's...a joke...from the see. Yes.

    4. The Descent (2005).

    You know the story, a bunch of gals go on a caving holiday, find an unexplored network of tunnels...encounter monsters...die. It's a tale as old as time. This pulpy 2005 horror flick from Neil Marshall (But it WASN'T his first was his SECOND....TAKE THAT) has its own bumpy release story to tell, and it's maybe quite a bit worse than our previous tale of woe...because it involves EDITING. Yes, this film got its rather spectacularly downbeat ending chopped off by its US distributors, who decided that American audiences would want a more positive ending rather than... the actual one....because Hollywood is full of idiots, you see. So if you do want to see this film, and live in the US? Make sure it has the correct, 'unrated' conclusion because it's really the icing on this deliciously grimy and visceral (literally) underground nightmare. If you're claustrophobic I'd give this one a pass, mind. Once this group of adventurous ladies make their way down into the caves, you are going down with them, and you're not coming out for quite some time...if at all. There's something quite unsettling about the concept of being trapped in the narrow, grave-like confines of a small cave passage, particularly when you know nobody is coming to rescue you...but it's okay, you don't have to worry about being trapped and slowly dying of exhaustion, hunger or fear...oh no no, the horrible monsters will get to you and tear you to shreds before that point. It's a visually vibrant, graphic tale of the lengths someone will push themselves to survive against all odds. It's like 127 Hours, except instead of being trapped in a ravine for a bit, you're being chased through a nightmarish cave system by disgusting monstrosities that want to eat you. Y'know, it's really similar. An exciting, visceral thrill-ride the likes of which you've probably never seen...unless you watched The Cave...which wasn't as good, I'll be honest. It may be jump-scare heavy and drooling with gore, but this is a trashy adventure horror you can't miss....unless, like I said, you're claustrophobic...cuz...yeah. Don't. And hey...all female cast, ah? AHH? Don't get many of those.

    3. Evil Dead (2013).

    Honestly, you could pick any of the Evil Dead franchise to throw right into this wonderful trash pile, and hey...if it was trashy TV horror, Ash vs Evil Dead would be raining supreme on said pile...but I decided, instead of putting the whole franchise here, I'd specifically pick out the 2013 remake because...DAMN...this film went out of its way to be trash. Like...that was the whole point of its existing. This surprisingly entertaining semi-remake of the classic Sam Raimi-led cult franchise, helmed by director Fede Alvarez in his *Ahem* FEATURE DÉBUT, WOAOAAAHHHHHH (He'd later go on to direct Don't Breathe, which is well worth your time, I love that one) was marketed extensively as being a disgusting, 18 rated nightmare, the posters with the mantra "THE MOST TERRIFYING FILM YOU WILL EVER EXPERIENCE" slapped right across them in huge letters, and the trailers solely focused on just how explicit and gory the film would be. So, as you'd expect, it quite literally rains blood in this particular, po-faced, gritty instalment of the franchise that gained cult adoration for its more comedic outings. You have to remember though, that the original Evil Dead, whilst unintentionally campy as hell, was never meant to be funny, and was actually at the centre of a major 80s wave of controversy in the UK in which VHS tapes were not classified by any ratings board, meaning they could be as disgusting and explicit as they so desired, something which became something of a big deal back in the day, with Evil Dead a key 'offender' for its graphic violence and depiction of...uh...tree rape. Not only does this remake have both graphic violence and, yes...tree rape, it has them in a far more graphic and realistic way, and is going out of its way to be as disgusting, grotty and trashy as possible. And because of that, it's a lot of a ....oh god, she just sliced her tongue in half and vomited blood in that person's face..kinda way. Yeah. This film was produced, marketed and released as nothing more than a grotesque nightmare, trying to drum up the same pulpy controversy as the original film of the same name. It didn't work, but what we got was an unashamedly violent and entertaining horror film that does nothing unique or interesting, but reigns supreme when it comes to its oodles of graphic gore and nasty scenarios. Could still do without the tree rape, mind.

    2. Freddy vs Jason (2003).

    It wouldn't be a trashy horror list without at least one slasher franchise turning why not two at the same time? Yes, whilst Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street are the original trash-horror franchises (Halloween is up there too, the OG slasher, but slightly less trashy, at least originally) that more or less invented the now stale and regrettable blueprint of horny teens, ample teen breastage, annoying characters and lots...LOTS of people, young and old being killed in horrible, violent ways without any shred of remorse or dignity. I could've put either franchise in their entirety on here, Friday the 13th especially just, those films really are nothing more than just a bunch of people getting stabbed, huh? Kinda boring, really. But why settle for one, when we have a film that not only has both of these franchises combining, but does so in perhaps the more garbage blockbuster movie ever conceived by anyone ever. And boy oh boy, is it a lot of fun. You got Freddy Krueger, a teenage dream/nightmare invading hack'n'slasher who says BITCH a lot and has a tendency to do wacky cartoon things like turn into a car or suck someone into a bed and spray their blood everywhere. Things like that. Then you have Jason Vorhees, a hockey mask wearing deformed adult child...corpse(?) with a machete who aggressively murders teenager camp counsellors, generally for being horny. You throw those two together, come up with a vague reason for them to fight, sprinkle in a bunch of horny stoner teenagers in almost quite literally, the Mystery Machine, and you have....a garbage fire, but a really...really fun garbage fire to watch. This film literally throws everything, including the kitchen sink at the audience, there's blood, guts, swearing, jump scares, nudity, sex, drugs, corny dialogue, over the top cartoonish deaths, explosions, heavy metal and just...yeah. It's a terrible terrible film, but it's one of the best terrible horror films you'll ever see. There's always an inherent entertainment value in crossovers, but they're basically always garbage...this one is too, but it's gloriously trashy, entertaining garbage that'll leave your brain shrivelled and begging for help, but you'll be too busy laughing to care.

    1. Final Destination (2000-2011).

    Yeah, we're ending on an entire franchise. Why not. So yeah, we've just talked about dumb as fuck slasher films where a bunch of annoying teenagers get horribly killed by serial killers. Now it's time to check out a dumb as fuck slasher franchise where the supernatural serial killer is...death itself? Hrmmm. Final Destination as a franchise seems to be more or less dead now, 6 years on from its last entry, which not a whiff of a suggestion that it'll ever get a sequel. In some ways that's good...these films are truly awful, but in other ways? I'm honestly a little disappointed, because these dumpster fires are a real guilty pleasure of mine. The basic premise, for all of these films is as follows. A bunch of kids, teens to early 20s folk are all in a specific place, maybe they're all friends, maybe they're just randomly in the same place at the same time. One of them suddenly has a premonition of a horrible chain of events that leads to them all dying horribly. A plane crash, a bridge collapse...a...Nascar race gone...sideways...literally. They freak out, convince their friends to leave with them, maybe a few other people do too...then the event happens, people die, but they don't...they survived, it's a miracle! Oh, they weren't supposed to survive, now death's coming for them one by one, going down the list in order of who died first, offing each person in elaborate and creative ways that ensure no matter where they go, what they do, and how safe they think they are...death always finds a way. Now that sounds pretty fun, right? And it is, honestly. It's also fucking trash, and again, it's loaded with the horror tropes everyone either loves to hate, or just plain hates. Bunch of douchey kids sex'd up and drugged outta their skulls, the girls generally without clothes on at least once because...yeah, okay, suuuure. As with a slasher film they're all painted as uniquely unlikeable and often unrealistically, cartoonishly asshole'ish (At least I thought, until I went on the internet) with the express reason being that when they get horribly murdered, you don't care. Lovely. But the deaths are the real star of the show, here. Frequently creative in both staging and (literal) execution, and increasingly more and more over the top in each consecutive film, it's a lot of fun trying to work out just what of the many potential contenders will be the lucky circumstance that offs the unsuspecting individual, and their tongue in cheek nature generally provides a lot of laughs too. Like with Freddy vs Jason, it's balls to the wall, all in...right up to 11 trashfire horror from start to finish, except this is an entire franchise, and if that's something that takes your guilty fancy, then you should check this garbage out, dawg. It's awful! Hurrah! 

    AWwOOOooOOOhh, those films were SCARY bad, huh? Well...a couple of them, the other ones were trashy but good, honestly. Ah...uh...BooOOOOOOo. That's the blog, folks! Hope you have a safe and fun Halloween, whatever you decide to do with it, and I hope you enjoyed reading this SPOOoOoOOKY blog!

    As always, comments/ZINGs/sharing around are much appreciated if you enjoyed reading. Seen any of these films? What do you think of them? Gonna check any out? What are some classy/trashy horror films you enjoy? If you check any of these films out for Halloween, let me know what you think! 

    Dunno when I'll post a blog next, possibly sooner than later, cuz I i d e a. If not that, then...uhh...see you this Christmas! LATER GATORS.

  • A Letter to Little Me - My Biggest Regret

    1 month ago

    Caofontaine Wizard

    My Website


    /*I wondered what it'd be like to write a letter to my younger self. I only wrote one to my future self in middle school. I never got that mailed to me though.*/


    Dear Little Ben,

    Here I am, your future 25 year old self, wanting to have a chat with you about what’s to come. I’ll tell you what, it’s not going to be that fun of a time.

    Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Some are pretty big and others on a much smaller scale. I’m still writing to you, so things haven’t been too awful to us. I want you to learn from the mistakes I have made, so that when you are my age, you won’t have to resort writing something like this to your younger self.

    You are a first generation born Chinese-American in your family. You’re not going to understand or even know about the cultural clashes that come from our parents and American culture. You’ll simply abide by “what mom and dad says,” and that’s ok, but be sure to know which advice to heed, which ones to question. This will improve your growth tenfold.

    Little Ben, my creativity at this age has been dismal. I’ve been trying to figure out why that is the case. If I had to guess, it’s because of how I was controlled as a child. Children are brilliant in the way that they can experiment on things with no real consequence. It lets their brain develop in ways that allow them to flourish.

    I however, feel I did not have that luxury due to the way I was raised. I was controlled. Things were done for me because I couldn’t. Whether it be making a diorama or making a map of the world, I was unable to do these things myself because they were done by my parents the majority of my childhood. Not because I asked them to do the whole thing, but because when asking for help, it went from assistance, to taking over because it was taking too long. I have heard, “Why do the teachers make up these projects that the parents always has to them?” far too many times. I understand why the projects asked a lot. They’re meant to make us thing. In my case, I never really got to think. I suffered the consequence by not taking initiative to progress my own growth. I was shielded for too long to do what mom and dad thought was the right thing to do.

    So where do we go from here? Most importantly, where do YOU go from here, little one? Well, the answer is simple. You know the problem. The solution is to be able to identify and avoid what’s to come. You’re a good kid with years of wisdom beyond anyone’s imagination. You need to tap into it earlier in order  to benefit your future. Mom and Dad will view this as a rebellious phase, but that’s ok. You need to do these things to exercise your brain, expand your creativeness, and become more confident. Too many times have I not been able to do things due to my lack of confidence. You will be great.

    Little Ben, I wish you luck in your adventure. I hope you never become what I am now.


    25 year old you

  • RvB Season 15 | Bingeworthy

    1 month ago


    I've finally completed my reflections of RvB Season 15!

    Read it here!

  • Also hey!

    1 month ago

    zeitgeistzest Zeitiψ(`∇´)ψLilVampire

    @Izayer posted about wanting to be more active on the site. I've been wondering about that, too, how to take part more... what to offer to the rest of the community.

    So I randomly post about personal things on here. But... what would YOU guys like to see more from me? :) I often share bits about Finland, Finnish language and culture and people on the forums - would you like me to compile links and info and images on blog posts revolving around certain themes? Our history, for example. I could also share more of my own photos, as well as my attempts at art and crafts. Yoga stuff.. food. recipe experiments... linguistics and translation and other general language and communications related stuffs for everyoooone to discuss. :D Gimme ideas! It'd be awesome to try and schedule these things, too, do certain type of posts on a certain day etc.

    I recently tried streaming on Mixer and posting stuff on YouTube, but especially YouTube is quite tedious for me because of lack of fancier equipment. So I'm thinking about either removing all content from there... and have a fresh start later. Or just let it be... or try something else there. I don't know yet. I'll definitely try to get back on regular streaming with Warframe again. I haven't played any games in 2-3 weeks now....

    Anyway! Just something I wanted to put out here. (  ̄▽ ̄)/ I want to take part more! ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ Also let me know if there are groups or more forums here I could join in on - I've been hesitant to look those up or try squeeze myself in, so to say. Ahaha. It's not because of you people, it's all on me and my social anxiety that sometimes stretches on to my online activities. :') 

  • I Did Something Kind Of Cool? And Life Update

    1 month ago

    kirstenxo Miles Luna Fangirl

    So, I have been a ghost on this site lately. (oooo spoopy) But today I actually bought the domain for my blog and have changed a few things up on it to try and convince me to write on it more. (TRY

    To celebrate my little achievement, I'd be really grateful if people could go check it out! I'll be real, I'm not 100% happy with it and would LOVE a graphic/web designer to commission to help me out with my logo and stuff but hey, I do what I can so far.

    Here's the link: BLOG

    Now for the more interesting news, I guess? Depends on your perspective. Majority of you probably don't even care HA HA.


    Why did I disappear? Well secretly in the depths of the summer, I MOVED. Yes, I moved to London. Although, I'm unemployed so that kind of sucks BUT I'm here. One step at a time.

    To add to this, if you're in London or the UK or are going to be in October: Please come say hi to me at either RTX or MCM as I will be at both and love meeting people and obviously I'm famuzz enough to say that.

    you're really not you loser

    Well, that's all I have to update with.


  • Guess who's back, back again

    1 month ago


    Crofty's back, tell a friend.

    Or I guess I've kind of been back for a while. Went to Sweden's biggest convention (aka NärCon) for four days in July which was super fun! Meeting friends is always fun, and considering that most of my close friends are cosplayers, attending events like these always make me happy. I didn't get too many photos as I didn't cosplay as much as I usually do at cons (I was working as an assistant for the photographer of the Nordic Cosplay Championship), but links to some are further down in this post!

    Then I went on vacation - spent three weeks in the Philippines. Warm as hell, as usual, but fun. After that, I was busy with the intro weeks for the new students at my university (I helped out and it was so much fun, but damn was I exhausted). Then, there's obviously studying to deal with... and Overwatch. An awful lot of Overwatch.

    I will actually stream some drunk or at least tipsy Overwatch in a little while over at my Twitch channel so feel free to stop by! I stream occasionally from time to time so if you're interested in watching, follow me like a crazy stalker (but please not literally)

    Oh, and have some cosplay selfies from NärCon. Those are always fun.

    I hope you've all had a lovely summer! <3

  • Oh, Look It Didn't Die

    2 months ago

    kirstenxo Miles Luna Fangirl

    I finally wrote another blog post/review/please love me and read it I am desperate for validation. Though for real, in the midst of all the Destiny 2 hype, I wrote a review on a game that involves a lot of bisexual haircuts:

  • Why I Run

    2 months ago

    Caofontaine Wizard

    As seen on:

    My Website


    /*If you're passionate about something, it's always a good thing to remind yourself why you do what you do. This is my story.*/


    Photo by Andrew Merlino (2007)

    This is one of those deep down, discovery discussions for one who has a large passion for running that they couldn’t live without it. To go one step further, it is one of those discussions for anyone who has a passion for anything should have.

    Since I chose running and most likely you are someone who doesn’t know me, I must start at the beginning. Even if you do know me, you might not know the full picture of how I’ve evolved over time, so this might be a good read for you as well. I don’t really know. It could be too long for you to read since attention spans thin over time. Oh well. Bear with me.

    My running history began as a 14 year old transitioning from middle school to high school. Knowing that I had no interest or build for football and the only thing going for me in soccer was my speed, not my technical skills, I figured cross country would be the way to start. Also my older brother was already running. It was clear I was a novice in running, coming in with no experience or any real training, also having a coach (which I realized 3 years after the fact) who really had no idea how to coach runners at all. My first practice of the season was 3xMile. I thought was doing pretty well after the first run at about 6:27, but boy, that faded as the next 2 reps I finished behind the slowest kid. Definitely eye opening. After that, nothing spectacular other than finishing the season as a top 10 runner on the team.

    I think the real test came with indoor track, what I consider my first real taste of competitive running with a coach who actually knows running. If I thought I knew nothing about running after cross country, boy I really knew nothing after doing indoor track. Learning how to pace and be confident in your body while running laps was difficult and honestly I don’t really think I ever got the hang out during my career. Honestly, I think this was the season I discovered I liked to run. I can’t pinpoint it exactly, but I loved the hard workouts and seeing the fruits of my labor with improved times. This was the season I suffered my first injury as well. Shin splints. To this day, the bane of my existence. I ran the last race of the season with that pain. A 5:52 mile. That was painful and a lesson learned in recuperation.

    Coming back for the outdoor season with ample time to heal, it was what I considered my strongest season out of my entire 4 year running career. Vast improvements across the board and a real contributor to the team. Though another lesson had to be learned in fatigue. Definitely felt the end of the season exhaustion grinding it out. This season for sure, defined my work ethic for the future.

    Speaking of the future, is there much to say for the next 3 years? Not really, other than the recurring theme was injuries. I was not actually talented as runner and injuries ranged from the knees, back, hip, and the ever so recurring shins. I finished my career with a 4:48 mile, 10:43 2 mile, 2:56 1000m, 2:10 800, and a 58 400m. Good enough to score points, not good enough to be a state champion or national competitor. I’ll take the small rewards, I suppose.

    So it’s 2017. Where am I now? While at 25 I am considered still in my athletic prime, I’ve become, what I consider, less than the casual runner. I’m even more fragile than I was at 18. Besides the shins, it’s the lower back, left achilles, right groin/hip, knees, etc. Jeez, I might actually be dying. Physical therapy has only ever gotten me to at least 80% recovery. What a waste of money. Let’s not even talk about surgery. You might as well just chop the limb off. You’ll have to pay a handful and still have to go to physical therapy anyway.

    We now get to the actual “why” part after so much backstory. If I’m in so much pain and have no real goals to compete or anything like that, why am I even going out for runs at all? It’s a valid question. If I’m such a casual runner, the first answer would be that it’s a good fitness routine for me. It’s something I know and it’s easy for me to get into, albeit how painful it is. Now you may say, “There are other forms of exercise you can do that could be less painful”. You’re right! However, other forms of exercise are based on convenience and income. Biking? Have to buy a bike. Swimming? Need a pool or access to one. Elliptical, exercise bike, or rowing machine? Again, have to buy one, have room in a home to put it in, or pay for a gym membership, which I won’t do.

    Ok, ok, let’s stop beating around the bush. Why do I run? I love it. I really do. I love the highs it gives you and love the absolute pains it shoves. It’s character building. I truly believe that I would be nothing if I had not picked up running. It taught me how to become a hard worker by making me discover what I needed to do in order to be successful. Now, I’m not talking about being a successful runner because I already told you I wasn’t, but rather being successful in all other factors of life. How to the be successful in work, with my friends, my family, all stemmed from how I learned to work hard in running. Now, running just serves as a reminder of what hard work feels like and that what I’m feeling now can be applied elsewhere. I’m not saying I need to be sweating and my heartrate needs to be highly elevated in my work, but it’s more of, how do I apply my motivation and focus in running, to what I need to get done by the end of the work day?

    Could I have told you all that without all the backstory? Probably, but you might not understand what it took for me to get to my reasoning. I see a lot people I know who told me in the past running sucks, yet, years later, I’ll see them running 5k’s, half-marathons, and marathons as if they’ve loved running for years. I once told myself at 18, that I’d probably do those once. At 25, with my body breaking down into nothing, it’s probably unlikely. I’ll stick to taking the winters off from running to rehab, and struggle in the spring and summer to stay healthy casually running on the roads. It’s not the ideal compromise, but what I get out of it is always the same.

    Also, remember I’m a running nerd. I watch track and field on TV like it’s Sunday Night Football.

  • Ai, The Good, The Bad, The Neither

    2 months ago


    Hey All! Ever think about what having Ai's around what really mean? Well check this out and tell me what you think.

  • Wake Up, Josh (New Journal, Entry 1)

    3 months ago



    Apparently 4 years ago I tried to do a daily blog. That worked out well. Freshman me was WAY different than post-grad me. That's right, I made it through tech school, and I had a blast the whole way. I mad tons of friends, made a lot of cool shit, and only failed a couple classes unintentionally. Just finishing up my masters degree part-time this coming year while I start actually working. I'm working at Pratt! On jet engines! It's so freakin' cool. But that's not all I've been up to in the last 4 years (Not that anyone read my old attempt of a journal, but whatever.)

    I'll give the TL;DR of the last four years:

    Made awesome friends

    Set things on fire, both accidentally and on purpose

    Visited awesome places (from Alaska to Boston to NYC!)


    Moved again

    Moved off campus so I would stop having to move every year.

    Moved again.

    Graduated with a BS in mechanical engineering (emphasis on the BS :P)

    Filed for a patent on my senior year project

    Got a job, started making money

    Got a fish. 

    And that brings us to today. I've been keeping up with most of the content RT puts out, mostly on YouTube because of the watch later feature. Until now, however, I've never really been able to support them besides buying RvB and RWBY blurays (holy shit, was my last blog pre-RWBY!?) and the occasional small merch purchases for my birthday. Well, today that changes. I'm now a sponsor! I may not be able to watch the podcast live at work, but I can at least support some of the funniest and most creative people on the internet!

    Also, I think I'll try to revive this blog. Maybe not every day, but I'll try to keep it regular. Maybe I'll even share some of the projects I'm working on here FIRST (haha, get it? Because I'm now a...forget it.)

    Looking forward to using the site again!


  • Starting somewhere, knowing nothing (The Beginning)

    3 months ago

    unKnightly Josh

    A little over 8 years ago I made my YouTube channel unknightly, no ambition, no direction and no motivation.

    Over the years to come I would toy with ideas, concepts and make the occasional video. The goal being to cut through the noise and guff of videos/content being uploaded each and ever hour however, it became evidently clear I was ultimately contributing to it, rather then separating and distinguishing myself from it.

    It was not until this year, that through endless contemplation, changes to landscape of my life and some anxiety scattered in between; I was able to focus on an end goal. A clear understanding for production(s) that I wanted to produce for the more selfish sense of satisfaction and more or less create something that I would show my friends.

    I plan on documenting the process/endeavor through the journal feature to provide insight to myself and others; as someone who has no experience in film, production or writing what so ever (as well as acknowledging that RoosterTeeth has been a source for inspiration and entertainment for me for the past 10+ years).

    It is with great joy, aspiration and excitement that I unveil to no-one: the creation of the Big Internet Company and its three productions: The Unknightly Show, Sofa Kings (sfakngs) and 2k Collector. Of which will be elaborated on in future posts. 

    In the meantime work begins on understanding the different platforms, concepts and worlds that are involved in attempting any level (amateur to professional) of production. I look forward to seeing the changes/growth and challenges in the months/years to come.


  • Top 5 things I like that everyone hates. (And Vice Versa)

    3 months ago


    What's up, 2 people who clicked on my link to this on Twitter, it's YOUR BOI, STICKMAN, HERE TODAY WITH Wait, no! Come back! It might make you post angry comments! That's it...come back, there you are, sit down. Good boy...or girl...or whatever you choose to identify as, that's not the issue we're discussing here today. Uhh...where was I going with this? Oh yeah, blogs.

    Opinions are pretty wacky, huh? You're never going to meet someone with the exact same opinions as you, and if you have done, you've met a clone of yourself, and that's pretty cool and you should like, tell someone about that, I guess? Up to you. Again, not the issue we're here for today, I need to stop doing this, wait no, come baaaaaack...

    Whilst there's never a universally hated or loved thing, the world isn't black or white like that, and I'm only using the term Like/Hate to make things simpler, it's fair to say that often there's a general, popular sway of opinion on hot topics, be it the general consensus, the loudest group of people voicing an opinion or just the most agreeable way to talk about something without the world burning down. And it's also fair to say that often you'll find yourself on the other end of the popular opinion about something. Maybe you just liked something everyone hated, or maybe you truly loved it. It's happened to you at least once, I'm sure of it...and that's what we're talking about today...except about me, because I'm obviously a more interesting person than anyone ever, and also I can't read your minds, sorry. 

    I'm not saying EVERYONE hates/likes these somethings in a literal sense, that's a necessary simplification for a header, but the following two sets of Top 5s are a collection of things that...generally, it seems most people dislike, or hate, that I rather like, or possibly even love, and vice versa. I'm not saying they're perfect/awful, nor am I saying it's wrong to dislike or like these things, I'm just sharing some FUN OPINIONS about THINGS that maybe you don't always get to hear from this end, so yeah...feel free to voice your own opinion in the comments below, but no raging, aight? S'all in good fun. 

    And on that note, FUCK YOU I'M RIGHT, HEEERE WE GOoOOOo!

    Top 5 Things I like that Everyone Hates.

    5. Prometheus.

    Ooh, now here's a perpetually spicy meatball to talk about, especially hot off the heels of the similarly (If not more so) divisive, Alien Covenant. I enjoyed Alien Covenant, but I found it to be deeply flawed on almost every level, and definitely not as good as Prometheus, which I found to be rather good, myself! Now, I'm a big fan of the Alien franchise, which could mean I'm either bias towards, or against this side-excursion in the franchise that featured a lot of connective tissue to the original Alien film, but not a whole lot of direct connections or ...well, Aliens? Personally, I went in expecting something not directly connected to the Alien franchise or its titular creatures, and I got a visually stunning, atmospheric and fun science fiction romp that certainly lacked in important areas, feeling very much like the start of a story, rather than its own individual narrative (A story that was later tossed aside for a messy attempt at being more like an Alien film in Covenant), but on a whole was a satisfying and memorable film for me. I felt that way all hyped up in the cinema back in 2012, and I felt the same way rewatching it a few months back in anticipation of Covenant, my feelings on the film haven't changed, and I do sometimes wonder why it's just so hated. I understand and somewhat agree on the criticisms people have, I just find it hard to write off the entire movie because of them. I'd be interested to see what people think about it now, compared to the recent follow-up which oddly received a more favourable reception than the first, despite, I feel at least, suffering from the exact same problems, albeit this time moreso. It leads me to feel like people get hyped up for the wrong film prior to release, and the real reason it's so vastly disliked is for not being the film people were expecting, in addition to the issues present in both this, and Covenant.

    4. Resident Evil 5 (And 6 to a degree).

    Similar to the previous entry, this is a franchise that recieved a major course correction in light of the negativity regarding its previous entry, that said, you can most definitely argue that Resident Evil 7 was a more well thought out and enjoyable course correction than Alien Covenant. Easily. Regardless, I'm one of the few people who enjoyed the more action heavy antics of the previous two Resident Evil games, leaning heavily on RE5, compared to the clumsily manufactured RE6, but even that one I feel has some positive aspects...which yeah, is not a popular opinion to have unless you're one of those people on Tumblr who likes making animated gay porn of some of the main characters...which I was just LOOKING AT FOR RESEARCH, OKAY? GEEZ. I can certainly appreciate people's dislike for RE6, and even RE5 to an extent. Resident Evil is a franchise that is often heralded for popularising the survival horror genre, with a few of the earlier entries considered to be some of the finest games of all time. One of those entries is RE4, which is where my confusion for the hate over RE5 mostly stems. RE4, despite having a more traditionally horror-esque atmosphere, was by no means a horror game. It was a third person action shooter...thing, with elements of the spooky, but you mainly just went around blasting people with a shotgun. Intense, perhaps, but not scary. RE5 to me, merely plays out as a more streamlined version of RE4, which can be seen as better or worse depending on how much you liked the more connected locations and backtracking of 4. It has a different atmosphere and tone, but that doesn't mean it's worse, I suppose? It's just personal preference, and I can appreciate that, but people REALLY hated Resident Evil 5 for not being a horror game, but continue to love RE4 for almost the same reasons? It's strange, but there you go. Personally I enjoy playing RE5 more than RE4, even if 4 is an overall more well thought out just has less frustration for me? I don't know, I just really like RE5, what can you do? As for RE6, I can understand the hate a lot more, because...frankly, a large portion of this game is pretty crap, and in general it's misguided in mechanics and concepts, but despite that, I still find much to like about it. The multiple campaigns with a connected, epic and globetrotting story is really fun, and the first half of Leon's campaign has a nice, traditional Resi atmosphere to it, even if it lacks the same quality of gameplay. I get the dislike for both games, but I can't help but enjoy them myself, or at least in RE6s case, enjoy aspects of it.

    3. Coldplay.

    When I said THINGS I didn't just mean movies and games! Yes, I don't often talk about music on here, mainly because I'm completely useless at writing about it, and the one time I did a review of an album, it was the most awful, embarrassing mess I've ever done. Actually, that's probably not true, but regardless it was pretty terrible, so despite my love of music, I tend to avoid writing about it when possible. That said, when I'm talking things I like that everyone hates, really can't avoid mentioning Coldplay, the hugely successful band that seemingly everyone on the internet hates...except me, that is. I mean, I can appreciate not liking a band in the same way I can appreciate not liking any type of music. It's just a personal preference, some people like K-Pop, some people (Me) would rather push their face into a chainsaw than listen to that sorta thing. Coldplay is music, it's maybe music you don't like, that's fine...but people HATE Coldplay, they seem to hate everything about them. They're up there with Nickleback as the internet's musical punching bag and I really don't understand why, because I really, really like a large portion of their music, mainly the older stuff (See above), but even some of the more recent tracks and albums are things I pop on from time to time and enjoy immensely, and I often wish that was less of a controversial statement to make on this here internets. Much like with my favourite band, Muse, Coldplay started out with a distinctive, generally moody selection of early albums, before slowly descending into more energetic, pop'y fare. Both of the most recent excursions for these two bands attempted to rekindle their former glory, strangely, but that's beside the point in this instance. I grew up listening to a lot of the earlier Coldplay albums and finding the moods and rhythms they carried to really engage with me (I told you I was bad at talking music), and then the more successful, energetic works linger in my mind as memorable anthems to my formative teen years, both types of Coldplay sound spoke to me, and continue to do so, and it's a shame that having a like of this band seems to be such a dirty thing to confess to others, because I can certainly appreciate not liking a band...but I really don't understand the seething hatred Coldplay specifically receive. Maybe it's all one big joke that I'm not party to, but yeah...I genuinely like most of Coldplay's output a lot, and don't understand why people hate it just...SO much. Like, oooof. Poor Coldplay, except not poor...because they're probably fucking rich as GOD DAMN HELL.

    2. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2/3.

    Oh yes, this old chestnut again. If you've been a long-time follower of my blogs (Like...V4 of ScrewAttack long-time), you'll know I've always been a fan of Modern Warfare 2, and 3...and it's always been a huge point of rage-inducing contention for internet folks...back in the days where people actually read and commented on blogs, but...I mean, not getting hate messages is the one true perk of writing on a dead website, so here we go with that Call'a'Doody again. To be fair, the universal, burning hatred of the CoD franchise in general has massively reduced in recent years...STRANGELY ENOUGH in accordance with its diminishing status as gaming's biggest, most talked about franchise. It's like..geeeee, the more popular something is, the more hatred it receives...but...more on that in the next entry, MM? Back in the far, far feeling past that was 2009, CoD Modern Warfare 2 was perhaps, the most anticipated game of all the times ever. CoD4 was a smash hit that people adored, and the follow-up to that game, the resolution to its cliffhangers, and the MP upgrades it'd receive had the masses foaming at the mouth in excitement. The hype built and built, it was talked about on the news, partly thanks to its still controversial 'No Russian' level which pushed the envelope in terms of challenging narrative tools in mainstream games at the time (feels pretty tame by today's standards, frankly), it was hot shit, it came out, made a kajillion bucks, got wide acclaim from critics...aaannd...people hated it. Like, a lot. Like, JESUS was this game despised by the loud internet masses, be it for narrative choices, gameplay mechanics (Never-ending enemy spawn segments, hands off sequences etc), disliked MP introductions such as the match-ending Nuke killstreak item, and just a general sense that it hadn't lived up to people's love of the previous Modern Warfare entry. From that point forward, Call of Duty as a brand became a filthy slur, something only mentioned in revulsion, and by the time MW3 was rolling around, the hatred was well and truly seething and long-standing. I've never felt that way though, although the MW series, and CoD is lacking in player agency, I really love the scale of the campaigns, and the increasingly over the top action set-pieces they contain (MW3 took place in WW3, for instance). They were memorable and fun action romps with tight controls and simple, but enjoyable gameplay, and the MP was addictive, arcadey fun that set the benchmark for online shooters for quite some time, in my opinion. I love all 3 of the Modern Warfare games, and as with previous entries, I can appreciate not liking these games, and I'm aware of the flaws present, but the hatred these games received? And continue to receive on perhaps a smaller scale than in the past? It's pretty damn crazy, and moreso a victim of their over-prevalence in pop culture, rather than their specific issues, I feel. Speaking of whiiiiich...

    1. The Walking Dead (TV Show).

    The bigger you are, the harder people want you to fall. No media ...thing...knows this better than AMC's The Walking Dead, the televised adaptation of the long-running Robert Kirkman comic series which, until recently had been going from strength to strength in terms of scale and financial/ratings success, and the bigger and bigger it got, and the more of a talking point it became, the more people seemed to grow to despise it, it all bubbling up to an overflowing shitstorm that arose from the Season 7 première, which mainly people viewed as the point of no return, to the extent that its ratings actually plummeted, and most media websites, ironically given the nature of the premise, proclaimed the franchise as dead in the water, not long for this world, and all that jazz. And whilst it's had missteps and suffers from flaws, I've never, NEVER understood the boiling, universal hatred for The Walking Dead, be it at the start, or right until the most recent episodes. There's several different camps of hate for this show, there's the previously mentioned group who hate it mostly because it's just too prevalent in pop culture these days, then there's people who hate it because it differs from the source material, there's people who hate it for being too slow and lacking in action, and there's people who hate it for being too action-heavy and lacking in a strong narrative. It's generally compared in quality to the far more loved, popular TV show second placer Game of Thrones, which, admittedly I haven't watched so can't comment on the comparison, but it just tends to come across as a resentment towards TWD for being more successful than GoTs despite an apparent difference in quality....much akin to previous entry CoDs hatred, compared by many to the Battlefield franchise, which is similarly the second placer in the military FPS genre (Or at least was, EA didn't handle that as well as HBO have handled GoTs it seems). For me, I'm just a big fan of The Walking Dead show, it has problems, and could do with being a shorter, more punchy show, compared to the 16 episode seasons which feature a good deal of slow-paced filler that varies a lot in terms of quality. But it's big-scale, event television that when it all comes together? Can be tense, exciting, heartbreaking, or all of them in one. As someone who enjoys horror, zombies and gore, having all of that in a mature, well crafted and acted drama with truly memorable characters? I just really find it hard to get the hate, even if I can appreciate much of the criticisms weighed against it. As with CoD, I feel like the contempt for this show will die down as the general, at one point massively upscaling popularity starts to dwindle, but for now, and possibly always, this is one thing I really like, that I don't understand why so many people hate it, and so much at that.

    Hey, so that was a fun, but somewhat repetitive little list, huh? WELLL, now let's turn the whole thing on its head and do the reverse, time to talk about some HATE. Okay, when I say hate, I mean dislike ...hate's just a punchier term to use on the thing, y'know? Anyway, here goooooes...

    Top 5 Things I hate that Everyone Likes.

    5. Castlevania (Netflix Series).

    The most recent inclusion on this list, and one I'm still struggling to work my head around. Back in July, Netflix dropped a 4 part animated adaptation of the long-running and popular Konami (HISSSSS) gaming series, Castlevania. The response from the majority, nay...all people? Delight, glee and high praise indeed. My own opinion? Uhh...not that? Whilst it's nice to see Castlevania get a new lease on life, and the ending moments of this short test-run of a possibly bigger show offered some potential for improvement...but on a whole? I didn't like the Castlevania show, at all. And it really baffles me, seeing just how much people like...nay...LOVE this thing. It's an inconsistent, crude and hyper-edgy show that, at least in my opinion, fails to capture the atmosphere or tone of the gaming series, and yet people say it's possibly THE best gaming adaptation of all time...and..granted, that's hardly a particularly competitive field, but if it wasn't for the use of the name Belmont, you could pass this shit off as any old bog-standard vampire anime...esque thing. To me, it doesn't feel like Castlevania at all, and people who say it's a perfect adaptation? I feel like they haven't really played the games? I mean, I'm not the world's most expert player of the series, but I've played and seen enough to know they wouldn't spend upwards of 5 minutes talking about bestiality, and have the main character spend 70% of the series drunk and unable to finish a single sentence without swearing. The opening and closing moments of this show offer potential for a higher quality of product, but the majority of the time it just comes across as a low-quality mini-series that feels like a direct to DVD animation sliced into four drastically differing pieces. If you liked the show, good for you, I just can't appreciate it on any more than a trashy entertainment level, and it certainly isn't a faithful recreation of the tone of the games. Also, the amount of attention it's giving to professional edgelord Adi Shankar, who now wants to work his same 'magic' over the likes of Assassin's Creed, and even worse...Metroid of all fucking things? Not a good, sorry.

    4. Pacific Rim.

    Maybe this stems from my general dislike of traditional anime tropes, but...I really wasn't a big fan of Pacific Rim. Okay, it looks really nice, and the one, neon-drenched, cargo ship battering scene set in Tokyo? That's fucking magical, but otherwise? It's honestly kinda boring, and in addition to that, a lot of the characters come across as either bland, or irritating. At least to me. It's basically a series of generally (Excluding the Tokyo showdown one) dull monster/robot fights taped together with somewhat annoying character moments, worse of which being the two goofy scientist characters, who I wish I could crush with a real giant fucking robot. And despite this, Pacific Rim remains a massive cult success, it received glowing reviews and a devoted following of fans, to the extent that, despite being a financial disappointment in most corners of the world (China excluded), it managed to wrangle together a similarly big budgeted sequel, this time sans Idris Elba, and sans Guilermo Del Toro which, for me? Were the two best things about the original, which makes it hard for me to have much interest in the Uprising, despite my deep rooted love of giant monster fights, which really says a lot about how the first film didn't impress me. The thing with films like this is that they absolutely revel in the tropes and homages that inspired them, and you're either into those, or you aren't. I wasn't, and that leaves me somewhat in a minority here, within nerd society. I don't despise Pacific Rim either, I'm just not exactly a fan. If you gave me a sequel that focused on inventive and visually striking fight sequences, and less so on obnoxious characters and deep-rooted cliches? Maybe we could talk, but for now, yeah...this ain't my jam, which is really hard to admit, given how much I loved that GOD DAMN TOKYO FIGHT, WOOOOOO.

    3. Yooka Laylee.

    Oooh, now we're getting into blood-boiling territory for me. I'm aware this recent indie platforming spiritual successor to Banjo Kazooie received mixed reviews, and some negative thoughts based on particular issues leading up to, and post-release, but on a whole, a lot of people really liked this game, and some went so far as to say they wept with joy just from seeing the main menu. Me? I didn't just not like this game, I despised it, as anyone who followed me on Twitter back when it came out can attest to. For transparencies sake, I have to say I went into this game very hopeful, I actually helped Kickstart this game back in 2015, to date my only crowdfunding pledge, and hOOOoOo was I not impressed upon receiving the final product. Even when it's a functional game, it's merely a by the numbers, mediocre platformer which wears the charms of previous games by these developers like skin ripped off a body. It looks vaguely like the things you remember and love, but beyond the basic superficial similarities, it's a soulless, charmless husk. You can probably play the first iteration of the first world and think...HEY, that wasn't too bad, y'know? Looks okay, plays...okay...ish? Sure. But the deeper you get into the rather short campaign, the worse and worse it plays, and the more and more broken it becomes. And this game is BROKEN, even to this day. Playtonic have said a patch for a lot of the issues is coming, but this game came out in APRIL and it's AUGUST now. It's too fucking late, and the fact they sold this broken shit at £40 RRP? Unacceptable. The game looks and plays like it wasn't finished, or they ran out of money, which boggles the mind given this far exceeded its initial Kickstarter goal. The last few worlds are, at times borderline unplayable and have vast, empty spaces of nothingness. The unlockable moves are frequently garbage to use, the final one, flight? It's like trying to pull a screaming, flailing child in a straight line. It's fucking impossible. The game is lacking in actual challenges, the difficulty instead saved for segments that aren't well designed, or wrestle against the way the rest of the game plays unsuccessfully. Just....AaAAGHH, this game is a terrible mess, and the division among gamers between those who loved this thing and defend it to the ends of the Earth, and people who can see how broken it is? It's crazy. I get that people were excited for Yooka Laylee, and I get people have a lot of nostalgia for these guys previous games, but they dropped the ball on this one, and dropped it so hard it shattered into a million, irredeemable pieces of shit. If you managed to filter out all the awful so much that you had fun, I'm envious of you, because I REALLY didn't like this game, and I will not be supporting Playtonic in the future.

    2. It Follows.

    Now here's a film that everybody loves to bits that I absolutely cannot stand. In the modern age, truly acclaimed horror films are hard to come by, most fall into either the decent or terrible categories for most. But you get one or two critical darlings in the genre a year, and in 2015, It Follows was one of them. 97% positive reviews, a lot of acclaim from both critics and moviegoers alike, it was a financial and critical success...and I have no idea why. I think it's garbage, very nice looking, well scored (Musically) garbage, but garbage all the same. It's not scary, the premise isn't unique, thought out or interesting...and the deeper, intelligent themes people praise the film for having under the surface? They're right in our face and lazily included from start to finish. In case you haven't seen the film, the premise is that there's a sexually transmitted curse that, once you've received, will have you being slowly stalked by constantly changing apparitions that disguise themselves as strangers, and once they eventually catch up to you, they kill you. OoOOOOo, SCARRRY. A girl has sex with a guy, who then drugs and ties her up, having passed the curse to her, explaining that it's like a descending list of people, once the newest person dies, the previous person will become the victim again, the only thing she can do is ruuuunnn...y'know? And that's about it, the exact details of what the curse is, or what it's capable of are never explained, and you could argue ambiguity can make for good storytelling, the film uses this lack of clear rules as an excuse to just do whatever the fuck it wants, to the point where it makes no sense and it's really fucking stupid (The curse is supposed to appear as random people, but turns up naked twice, and one time it's just randomly pissing on the floor reason? And then it's unstoppable, but becomes fightable when they decide it's good for the plot) People say this film is great and clever because it uses the SEX KILLS trope in horror as a literal premise for the film, and is SUPER DEEP and STUFF because it's STD and teen sex commentary or whatever. AMAZING. Except it's nooot. Basically, it's a monster that kills you for having sex, and the film is about people trying to avoid dying, and then dying, and then having sex, or whatever. And there's some super unsubtle teen suicide imagery that people say is really clever. But it's nooot. It's the kind of superficially themed film that people think is really clever and unique, but absolutely isn't, and if you spend 5 seconds thinking about anything that happens in the story, you'll realise how dumb it is. I was stoked to finally get to see this film back in the day, and not only did it disappoint me, but it pissed me off as well, and it continues to frustrate me when people sing this film's praises like it did something clever, cuz it didn't. Sweet soundtrack though, Disasterpiece? Nice. Just like FEZ.

    1. How to Train your Dragon 1 & 2.

    Okay, so...I'm not the world's biggest Dreamworks Animation fan by any means, that much is clear if you read At the Screwvies over on g1 Features, or my Twitter. I tend to find their films to be crude, childish, bland and not at all engaging or funny. Films like Shrek, Monsters vs Aliens, Boss Baby, whatever...they're trashy crap to me, and I've never enjoyed them. If those films are DWA's normal, money making output, then How to Train your Dragon is somewhat their prestige franchise. The one everyone says is a far more nuanced, dramatic and epic collection of films that stand head and shoulders above the studios other output, with some considering them among the best modern animated films, up there with Disney, Pixar and Ghibli. That sorta thing. I...however, can not say I feel the same way. Whilst the original HTTYD film, and its sequel are slightly better than what shit Dreamworks can usually scrape off the bottom of their shoes, neither the first or the second HTTYD movies, to me, are anything more than mediocre and bland, with some pretty visuals in the second helping slightly with an otherwise unengaging and oddly toned experience. I went into both with high hopes, I watched both on DVD, after months of hearing people sing their praises post-cinema release. The first film getting a lot of love, the second? Possibly even more. Both times, I've sat through them and come out the other end totally unimpressed. I just don' them? Sorrrryy. For starters, I really hate the main cast of characters, particularly the lead guy, Hiccup. The fact that the son of a weirdly Scottish mother and father Viking pair (Y'know, those Vikings with the Scottish accents) ends up with an American accent, and an annoying, whiny one at that beggars belief. The whole tribe of Vikings is a mixture of Scottish and American for like, no reason whatsoever. These characters and their attempts at comedic antics fall on death ears for me, and the majority of them prove more irritating in their bland and samey character traits and tropes, and spending so much time finding them annoying to be around makes any of the somewhat out of place emotional scenes feel completely barren of engagement for me. Right from the opening narration to the closing words, I find the whole premise, and the journey we've been on in both of these films uninspired and dull. Yes, some of the dragon designs are fun, and Toothless is cute, but...he's cute because he's basically a cat in behaviour, they didn't do anything interesting, they just projected a likeable creature's mannerisms onto a fantasy ones. Cut and print, make the merchandising moolah, the end. I really, really wanted to like these films, people love them, and as with anything, to like something is far more pleasing than to hate, but I just couldn't enjoy either of them, and I won't be coming back for the third ride, if it ever indeed rolls along. I commend the second film for taking risks in terms of the time-skip, and introducing a deeper mythology, but it wasn't enough. If you love these films, that's fine, I didn't though...and that's...sorta...the preemiiissee of this blog. Weeee.

    Well how about them apples, huh? What fun we had, I said at the start of the blog, my aim with this blog was not to enrage or shit on other people's opinions, just to voice my own, and how it compares to the general consensus online. If you like these things, or hate them...that's fine, and you can tell them all about it in the comments below, so we can have a nice, civil and interesting discussion about THINGS. What are some things you love/hate that others feel the opposite about? Let me know down there too! Agree with the things I said on here? I'd love to know! Comments are appreciated, and if you had fun with this, some social media sharing about would be greatly appreciated! 

    Until next time (Maybe a review of Samus Returns, MMMM?), LATER GATOOORSS.

  • “Where Do You See Yourself in X Years?” (7/31/2017)

    3 months ago

    Caofontaine Wizard

    As seen on:

    My Website


    /*I don't really know if I'm experienced enough to talk about this. If not, well, here's something that has been on my brain for a while.*/


    At any job interview, this is the question I hate the most. It’s an open ended question, so there’s supposed to be no right or wrong answer, but on the contrary, there actually IS a wrong answer.

    We’re asked this question as if we’ve mapped out our career and life path 5 to 10 years out. Not everyone has an answer to this question. We’re not certain where our future takes us. Things also change over time, so your plan could be severely altered in a way that needs to be adjusted so that instead of a 10 year plan, it’s now become a 12 year plan.

    My simple answer as an aspiring software engineer is that I have no idea where I see myself in my career years from now. All I want to do is work and continue learning so that I have a relevant skill base that will take me anywhere. Surprisingly, that is a wrong answer. I can tell from the body language of the person interviewing me. I can recognize the tone in their voice shift over the phone, clearly unsatisfied with my answer. Then they proceed to question my answer, as if criticizing it is going to give them something solid.

    Every company focuses on loyalty because they want you to believe in their vision and support them for as long as possible. Therefore, if your answer is, “I want to continue learning,” their response will be, “Well, what happens if you’ve learned everything at our company? Will you leave in order to pursue a new learning opportunity”? They will respond with such scorn and disbelief and wonder why their time is being wasted on someone who could potentially leave their company in 1-2 years instead of 5-10 years.

    So am I supposed to apologize for wanting to learn things at a company? Or should I reevaluate where I want to be in my career years down the road? Why can’t the desire to learn be an acceptable answer for people? It’s the right attitude, correct? I just want to work, simple as that. Make some money, potentially retire by 40 and whatnot. Win the lottery.

    You spend too much time planning your future, you’ll never have time to start working towards it in the present. Plain and simple.

  • Why I Am Not A Coach (6/30/2017)

    3 months ago

    Caofontaine Wizard

    As seen on:

    My Website


    *I used to post a lot here. Not sure why I stopped. Maybe it was due to lack of time or I just wasn't reaching an audience to make it worth it. I'm going to try and make a larger effort to do so. I write things that are in my brain and try and share them for no real particular reason other than to just post into the internet void. If you do end up reading, it's much appreciated.*


    It’s something I’ve never felt I had to write about explaining myself because it is a career path I never considered. Since I am now displaying my life much more in internet writing, I felt this might be something people would want to read. At least for those who know me, it’s possible this is of interest.

    I fell in love with running at age 14, where most high school kids are actually introduced to running by participating in cross country or track & field. I was not a natural athlete by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess I liked being what I thought was a good athlete in these sports. I was average at best, but a contributor in the sense I scored the occasional point in a competition.

    It’s funny because I remember some people in high school in disbelief that I wouldn’t be competing in college. Those are the people who aren’t seeing the real picture. A 4:48 mile doesn’t get you in the door in Division I, it’s almost a charity to let you walk on in Division II with the expectation you’re most likely going to be cut, and you’re probably in the top 7 on a Division III team. I also destroyed my legs to the point I wake up in pain every single morning. Sacrificing that much to be an average athlete in high school (yes, in the grand scheme of things a 4:48 mile is pretty average in high school)? Well, that’s another explanation for another day.

    Now that I’m starting the fourth paragraph, I guess I could explain why coaching has never been in my life view. First off, I work a 9–5, so coaching is unrealistic because you can’t fully invest in your athletes, high school or college level. That’s just the simple, cop out answer though because it’s so easy to say.

    The real answer is this. I’ve talked about how I destroyed my legs in high school to the point that trying to even jog produces unbelievable pain. 2 rounds of PT in a span of 5 years treating a problem that no specialist has any idea to what’s going on was a waste of money. If I can’t keep my own running body healthy, how am I expected to keep the bodies of high school athletes healthy? Now I’ve designed my own coaching philosophy as kind of a “what if”, but I feel I couldn’t go through with it. I have knowledge that could be useful in coaching, but at the end of the day, I have no confidence that I could produce athletes with results and that I’d ultimately break them. They’d never see their true potential due to that. I understand injuries come with sport, but mitigating that is a result of good coaching and smart athletes. Could I coach well? I have no idea and I’ve kept myself out of trying for this very reason. Plus the 9–5 thing too. Scheduling is so unrealistic.

    I will admit, however, during my time volunteering at my high school track team, there is a sense of satisfaction watching athletes do well. Definitely enough to break some of my own rules in order to make coaching happen. Who knows if it’s in the cards for me? Something to really think about as time goes on.

  • RetrospectoScope

    3 months ago


    As I get further into my "real adult" life, it's so strange for me to think about my relationship with video games, animation, and basically any content...  It's all things that most people attribute to children or younger people and boys especially.  My brother used to be all over video games and computers and whatnot, and, as I'm obligated to do as older sister, I teased him about it and told him it wasn't going to get him anywhere in life.  Oh, how the tables have turned.  I'm graduating this upcoming December with a degree in English without a clue as to what I want to do other than write content for.......something.  I spend all my time playing games and watching cartoons, most of which are actually meant for children.  

    I'm trying to get into streaming now to move forward with something in gaming, hopefully...maybe.  It is not easy to get into,basically, a whole new field.  I don't really know anyone in the gaming community due to lack of funds and all sorts of other reasons.  I have one person who watches my streams pretty regularly and that one person honestly makes my day, because I personally don't know why he/she is watching my poor quality streams, but that's neither here nor there.

    And what the true struggle is, is that I am not tech savvy.  I have a microphone from 2011, I think.  And I can't afford anything new.  But this is something I really, truly enjoy regardless of my lack of qualification and understanding of anything computer/technology.

  • Cheesecake

    3 months ago

    LoZelda Supposedly An Adult

    Yeah that got your attention. Did you know this weekend is National Cheesecake Day? Did you know I'm kind of a master at making cheesecakes? Did you know my community had the opportunity to make me do a baking stream for them and share one of my recipes? DID YOU GUESS THESE ARE ALL RELATED QUESTIONS?

    On Saturday starting at 1pm I'm doing a stream showing from start to finish how I make one of my favorite things, the fudge truffle cheesecake. If you want to do a sort of bake-along with me, the rest of the details and the ingredient list is chilling over here. While it's baking, we're going to finish building some LEGO and play with the pups, so pretty much it's going to be the best stream ever smile

  • Fundamental Gaming -Thinking together, playing together-

    4 months ago


    I created my YouTube channel with the purpose of having a place to talk about my life and various topics that most people do not commonly discuss. My main series on my channel is called Fundamental Gaming because I began playing games as a way for me to step out of life for a little while and reflect. Even though that is not the sole reason I play games, it is definitely a major part of my personal experience. I do not care too much for views, but it was a great feeling when I was told by people that my videos either helped them think a little more about their own lives and even helped inspire some to discuss their feelings in a way they had not previously considered. That alone is a good example for why I love making these videos. I haven't uploaded for a while now because of life changes, but I do plan to continue very soon.  

    Emerald Radio

  • Time and cause - Journal #9

    5 months ago


    Well. Howdy. Many things can happen over a few days. I say that many things can happen, but to me I'm just an observer, politics, friends, family. 

    What to start with? I guess politics, I used to be so interested in politics, I used to study it in college, I kinda loved it, USA politics has always been more interesting to me, but I dig all countries really. Well this time I honestly did not care, I just observed, I would be lying if I said I did not get a little into the numbers, but I went to bed about halfway through the whole ordeal, I woke up, and boom it was over. Mostly. Haha. Let us see how that pans out. 

    I live at home with one parent. Most university students choose to travel the country or even overseas and live in student accommodation. Well it just feels like I am stuck in a loop at Keele university. I make friends one year or semester and then they end up going home if they are international students or even UK students. It's great when we are together, they are interesting, fun, but it's all just... Temporary.

    I've made a few friends this year, two from overseas, one is going travelling and then going home, the other is moving away for summer. I feel like the song 'Hurt' by NIN or the cover by Johnny Cash. 'Everyone I know goes away. In the end'. It's damn sure a little depressing I know, you probably think what a sob. Well I agree, I have my demons, just like Cash did, the scars to prove it, etc, etc. I'd rather not get into it. I'm not one to feel entitled, but it would be nice for someone to stick around that gets me, just when I feel I am getting to know somebody, they go away. 

    I think I just crave change, it happens to a lot of people, I just feel stuck in life, I feel great when I am somewhere new, even going to Liverpool for the weekend was great. I'm off to London next weekend, I should count my graces I guess. 

    I'm not ungrateful with my life at all. I'm blessed in many ways. I'm just a little sick of seeing friends and old friends moving on with their life while I feel stuck. LOL. 

    It's 2am, I love rambling, this is actually me being quite restricted, I write these for myself mostly.


    Wonder Woman was awesomeeeeeeeeeeee

    omg this is my favourite thing about going to the cinema minus the actual movie haha - FAVOURITE

  • The Stickman Reviews : Resident Evil 7 Biohazard.

    5 months ago



    Resident Evil 7 Biohzard (PS4, Xbox One, PC) Available now at Retail, PSN, Xbox Live and Steam.

    What is it? : After taking a sharp turn into the action shooter genre in 4-6, Resident Evil goes back to its Survival Horror roots in a stripped back soft-reboot of the long-running franchise.

    PS4 version reviewed.

    What's up GANG, it's me again. Here I am, with another B L O G. WOAH. WOO, and so forth. Last time, I gave my verdict on the long anticipated, game-changing latest entry in the Legend of the Zelda series. This time? We're checking out the much anticipated, game-changing return to horror for the Resident Evil franchise, one of my all time favourite game series'. Now, the previous two main instalments were met with heavy division, RE5 due to its horror light, action heavy approach to RE4s formula, and RE6 for...that...but worse. Now, I really like RE5, and enjoyed a reasonable amount of RE6 despite its many flaws, but I was very excited to see the franchise return to survival horror, and actually...potentially be scary for once? Previous RE games have mostly been atmosphere heavy but lacking in actual frights, in my personal opinion. That said, RE7 received a lot of hate from 'hardcore fans' of the franchise upon its surprise reveal at E3 2016 due to the shift into first person gameplay, and the (at the time) seeming lack of expected RE guns, monsters and its mostly beloved cast of characters. 

    Well, the game has been out for a while now, most people liked it a lot, and the fan hate seems to have more or less been drowned out but I only recently got a chance to play it what do I, ME, THE STICKMAN think of Resident Evil 7? LET'S FIND OUT...IN THIS REVIEW...HEEERE WE GOOOOO.

    Oh yeah, and I'll be keeping things pretty much spoiler free, apart from in the well labelled SPOILERS!? category, so if you haven't played the game, feel free to read the main review, just give that part a skip. AIGHT, NOW WE START.

    The Good.

    Visually Detailed, Richly Atmospheric.


    One thing the Resident Evil franchise has been known for since the very start is providing a high level of visual polish for its respective platforms at the time. It may not seem like it now, but at the time the original Resident Evil looked pretty damn good for a PS1 title, and RE4 pushed the limits of what the Gamecube could achieve visually back in the day. RE7 has switched up the visual style of the franchise this time around, shunning the artistically embellished environments and slightly cartoonishly designed characters for a more photo-realistic approach, and whilst that can be sometimes hit and miss for the character models, it's fair to say that the switch paid off tremendously for the game world itself, because DAMN does it look good. This will become immediately apparent from the moment you take control of main character, Ethan for the first time out in the sunset soaked Louisiana overgrowth, and will become all the more obvious once you enter the dingy, filth-ridden interiors of the Baker plantation. For the first time since the Gamecube remake of the original RE1, this is a Resident Evil game that drips with a rich and deeply unsettling atmosphere, pairing a huge amount of details, both in literal texture resolutions, and little touches that make the world feel all the more lived in...and promptly abandoned, along with exquisitely laid out lighting that makes the already nerve inducing locations all the more engrossing and tense for the player.

    In addition to visual polish, there's a lot of great touches that make the world and its characters more believable, and yes, more unsettling. From a sound design perspective, RE7 is up there with the horror gaming greats, each step you, or any other number of people or creatures take in the dark, claustrophobic corridors comes with a weight and feel in its sound. Creaking wood, squishy mould, crunch of broken glass and the echoing clank of metal as you climb ladders all keep you on edge throughout, and the way each door creaks and the way chairs shuffle against you when caught by your leg certainly won't help you relax either. That's not to mention the ambient sounds surrounding you at all times in addition to your own noises. Hearing an unknown person clunking around upstairs, or a creature of some description screeching off in the distance will frequently give you pause as you make your way through the various, perilous location, in addition to the standard horror tropey sounds of rustling leaves and creaking rocking chairs and the sort. The whole game oozes with atmosphere and tremendously detailed environments from start to finish, which really helps RE7's setting have a huge sense of eerie character, and the first person perspective, paired with the way Ethan's body subtly interacts with the various walls, doors and objects as you explore really makes you feel like you're right in that detailed, unnerving Baker Plantation. One of the most important aspects of a horror game is a setting that feels alive and unsettling, and RE7 succeeds in that goal, and then some.

    Genuinely Tense and Creepy.


    Atmosphere and visual details are all well and good for a horror game, but you know the MOST important part for a horror game to be? Actually...horror...roror...horror'y. It needs to be scary, don't it? And whilst the concept of fear, and what specific things scare someone varies from person to person, I personally don't feel like the Resident Evil games have ever been especially scary. They have a lot of jump scares, and tense moments due to scarce ammo, and RE3 and 4 came close at times to providing genuine horror scenarios (Nemesis and the Regenerators provide some genuine THRILLS, just not consistently enough), but...yeah, they've not been all that scary, let's face it. Resident Evil 7 is not consistently a balls to the wall horror experience, but for a sizeable chunk of the game, particularly the opening 2 hours? It comes closer than any RE title prior, and maintains an eerie, unsafe atmosphere for the player throughout. It does this by taking a lot of the previously mentioned pro-horror aspects of past Resident Evil games, whilst also taking a lot of inspiration from western horror films, both recent (Found footage and the James Wan catalogue) and old (Texas Chainsaw Massacre springs to mind), grouped with the first person perspective, to offer a mix of scripted, cinematic scares and in-game stalker mechanics that become all the more tense due to the scarcity of ammo and the real-time nature in which you manage your inventory, health and weapons.

    It's a good mix, well blended together in seamless transitions between standard gameplay and more scripted sequences that at times actually offer more agency than you'd think looking over them at face value...not that you have much time to examine a scenario, given how fast-paced and brutal the horror highlights of RE7 are, the photo-realistic approach and current-gen visuals offering some deliciously gruesome gore and hugely entertaining creepy moments that aren't going to go down well with some, particularly if played in VR, I'd imagine. When the game isn't taking you along for a narratively guided spooky ride, it's also providing tense gameplay care of its stalker mechanics, present mostly in the front-end. Once you enter the main bulk of the game, you'll find yourself quickly working against an enemy that's not exactly...killable, and whilst you can temporarily subdue them with ammo, the scarcity of said ammo (This is Survival Horror, after all) will make simply running and hiding a far more profitable, if not tense pursuit. Now, this isn't Alien Isolation, you're not constantly stalked by an intelligent, unstoppable nightmare from practically start to finish, there are areas and sequences where you'll be quite safe from harm, but you certainly won't know that whilst playing, and the mere threat of a dangerous enemy of this nature potentially lurking around each dark corner and through each creaking door makes for an automatically tense and unnerving experience, and that's certainly enough to make this a more genuine horror experience than any RE game prior. Throw in a sweat-inducing boss battle at one point in the game, and a grotesque, aggressive collection of monsters that make sure you'll never be safe for too long, no matter where you are, and you've got one Resident Evil game that lays the horror on thick, and I'm all the happier for it.

    Return to old-school RE design, but with modern improvements.


    One thing that got the (apparently) hardcore Resident Evil fanbase in a right tizzy at RE7s big E3 2016 reveal was the change in gameplay perspective, and scaling down of location from the global, blockbuster escapades of RE6, to...well...a spooky house. An evil residence, if you will. Despite hearing no end of people desperate for RE to be survival horror again, and aggressively shitting on the legacy RE4 had over the franchise, this pure horror soft-reboot got people REALLY MAD. THIS ISN'T RESIDENT EVIL, THIS IS JUST A P.T. CLONE, BOOOOOO. And sure, the early reveals and divisive 'Beginning Hour' teaser led many to assume this was indeed the case for the game, and led most to believe the majority of what people expected from Resident Evil was being thrown out the window...that really didn't turn out to be the case at all. In fact, RE7 is more akin in design to the original trilogy of franchise titles than anything else, with a whole lot of modern gaming sensibilities blended in to make this an authentic feeling Resident Evil title, that also fixes and streamlines a lot of aspects that simply wouldn't work in a modern game. Less Yooka 'We just did the same shit again except worse' Laylee, in its old-school roots return, basically. Thank fuck for that.

    The RE6 days of running around the globe, shooting giant ostrich soldiers and having high octane motorbike sequences in China are gone, my friends. We're back in a spooky mansion (of sorts) looking for weird keys and solving really elaborate and implausible puzzles to open doors, and having things go bump and BOO in the dark, and that's pretty damn great, I feel. It's been so long since the last Resident Evil game of this style, that it all feels oddly fresh. Manual saves, safe rooms, inventory limits, storage boxes and scrambling around the environment in a desperate search for Shotgun Ammo are all back, yet none of it feels tired or old-fashioned, because the game itself is designed in a way that takes the core feel and concepts of classic Res, and brings them right up to date. There's no door opening loading screens between rooms, but the game replicates that feeling of tension when entering by having you physically push the door open. The game has manual saves which will set you back a chunk of progress if you die whilst exploring, but the game also auto-saves before big sequences, meaning you don't get caught off guard by a sudden giant monster or chainsaw. Your inventory is limited and loosely based on item size, but it's now real time, and has a nice, chunky feel to its use, with weapons mappable to the d-pad, instead of you needing to clumsily open your inventory to fetch your handy pistol. It takes what was good, and what was charming about the classic Resident Evil games, and applies them to a undeniably modern product. When you throw in the richly detailed and memorable setting, full of locked doors, puzzles and tantalising secrets, you really do feel like you've returned to the basics of what made Resident Evil popular in the first place, but all the while feeling like this is an entirely new experience for the franchise. It's an almost perfect blend of old and new, and despite the initial naysaying, it feels authentically Resident Evil from start to finish. Even if it lacks boulder punching or wacky QTEs. SHUCKS. NEVER MIND EH.

    Well paced out.


    As much as I loved Alien Isolation, the last AAA survival horror game I played, it's fair to say when it came to pacing it wasn't exactly perfect. The game started with a lengthy introduction sequence, which is fine, before shifting into a very lengthy Alien stalker sequence, then a far too long 2nd act of shooting androids, then a finale that was basically a more scripted and slightly annoying variation of the first stalker sequence. At 19 hours of gameplay, it's good to have variety, but in an ideal world you'd mix those varying sequences together to create a nice pause between each type, rather than making what feels like several different games stapled together. Resident Evil 7 is a lot shorter than Alien Isolation, and therefore is already going to fare better in the pacing department because, simply put, there's less content to pace out, but regardless of length, it manages to really nicely blend together a host of different sequences, with stalker mechanics, classic RE exploration, boss fights, narrative segments and more weaved together in a way that means, with possible the exception of a late game portion, no one segment overstays its welcome. What this means is you get a decent amount of respite from the tenser mechanics of the game, namely being chased around by unstoppable enemies, RE7 choosing instead to shake things up quite regularly, whilst still providing the general threat of an unseen, deadly enemy lurking in the next room, meaning whilst you won't spend so much time running from the Baker family that you become numb to the threat, you'll still feel like they could turn back up again at any moment, even if they aren't actually going to.

    Resident Evil 7 also does a good job of rewarding your completion of horror/combat-heavy sequences with some time to breathe and often retrace your steps in order to acquire items you may have missed earlier before you step out into the next area, and whatever unknown terrors await you there. It may be a scarier experience than prior Resi titles, but it's not unrelentingly stressful to the point where you don't want to play it. Similar to RE4, each change in setting provides a new type of challenge for the player, even the main Baker threats vary considerably, both in their method of attack, and also the settings you encounter them within. Whilst you may find yourself running for your life from one, the next may instead offer a more puzzle based ordeal, or at least a different kind of reason to run away and hide. There's also segments which take a break from the Baker...situation entirely, the Moulded enemies tending to fill in for them, providing a similarly vicious opponent, but this time far more manageable and, best of all, killable. All in all, RE7 is a far better paced horror game than we've come to expect, not taking too long to kick things off, and not spending too much time wallowing in any one type of hell before introducing you to an entirely new one. The quality may vary from segment to segment, but the regular changes are more than welcome.

    Isn't afraid to be campy.


    Resident Evil as a franchise is a lot of things, but one thing it ain't is high-art. It's the cheap and grotty, but delicious burger to (early) Silent Hill's fine dining, and we wouldn't have it any way. Right from the start, and the first game's truly atrocious writing/acting, RE has been, first and foremost, a fun and campy horror romp. Recent games have forgotten that, unfortunately. RE4 was deliciously cheesy, but RE5 took things in a grittier and po-faced direction, the campier moments coming across as unintentionally stupid (I guess much like RE1s acting) rather than genuinely fun hearted, and RE6 being weirdly serious for a game based around weird ostrich zombies with machine guns. There's nothing wrong with serious or sad moments, but a game in the Resident Evil canon shouldn't be afraid to be stupid and fun, and fortunately RE7, despite the realistic approach and dark moments, absolutely embraces the campier aspects of the franchise. Most of that campy fun comes from the Baker family themselves, most of them are pretty threatening as enemies, but provide a lot of goofy lines and silly moments, none of which I really want to spoil for you. Ethan's weirdly nonplus reactions to the unfolding events, intentionally or not, offered me a lot of chuckles, and one later game puzzle sequence based around a candle is deliciously silly, even if the end results are rather grisly. That's RE7 in a nutshell, really. Unafraid to embrace the cheese of the franchise, but also eager to gross you out with its intensely over the top violence, or scare the shit out of you with the very same characters you were previously laughing at. It's no RE4 in the corn factor, but much like a lot of the game, it's a nice return to form for the franchise to dip back into the campy B-movie horror antics that made the earlier entries in the series so oddly charming.

    The Bad.

    Blows its load in the first 90 Minutes.


    Whilst Resident Evil 7 is a fun game throughout, it's fair to say it hits its peak in the first 90 minutes to two hours, and never quite manages to return to those dizzying highs afterwards. That's not to say what follows isn't good, but it certainly can't hold a candle to how the game so expertly throws you into its world. As with most games of this nature (Namely, on the shorter side), I played RE7 in a series of hour or so sessions, generally completing a key area of the game before saving the next for the following day. Because of that, I played the opening 45 minutes first, which are easily the best horror segments of the entire game, providing an unrelenting, gloriously intense opening sequence that's up there with some of the best game openings of all time, a sequence that had me grinning to myself in bed before sleeping afterwards. The next hour or so of the game introduces the first, and I would say most intense and fun stalker sequence of the game, and also provides some exceptionally classic RE gameplay, before wrapping up with a bombastic and massively entertaining boss fight. End session 2, cue me still riding that glorious high of excellent horror and well crafted gameplay sequences. From that point on, things progressively go downhill, not massively, not rapidly, but downhill all the same. 

    Segment #2 provides another cool setting, but the main threat isn't quite as good this time, and it also dishes out some annoying, mercifully underused enemies, before culminating in a truly sweat-inducing boss battle that again, leaves things on a high note, but maybe not as high a note as before, but you could argue that maybe it's the first 2-3 hours of the game rather than the first 90 minutes that are its peak, for sure. The sequences that follow are all still good, and have a nice mix, but feel a bit more half baked and lacking in ultimate pay-off. They also never reach the same deliciously tense and eerie levels as the opening act, the true horror of RE7 lurking in its beginnings, not in its middle or end, unfortunately. In its final act, the game reaches its lowest points, an odd detour provides the least enjoyable (But still fun) sequence of all, and the ending itself lacks much in the way of punch. It's also strange how the opening hour of the game offers a reasonable level of invisible agency, there are several sequences that will play out differently depending on how you navigate them, they feel like scripted events, but in actuality are optional sequences, which is really cool...but then the game just forgets to do that for the rest of its running time, making me feel like the game was sold and developed around the solid opening foundations, and then awkwardly put together with a lessening degree of developer confidence for the rest. The game for me never ended up being bad, and even the worst part of the game wasn't on the same level of poor as the low-points of other RE games, but it's still a shame that all the creativity and genuine thrills that the opening of RE7 provides couldn't be maintained through the rest of the experience.

    Main Protagonists lack Personality/Conviction.


    One of the most controversial aspects of RE7 for franchise fans upon its E3 reveal was the announcement that this entry in the franchise would be far more isolated from previous instalments, and you wouldn't be playing as, or meeting any of the much loved (For the most part) Resident Evil character roster. No Chris, or Jill or Claire. In their place? Ethan. A man going through hell to save the wife he thought already lost, Mia. Sounds compelling enough, but in the end, Ethan is barely a character at all, and the supporting cast of good guys, Mia and Zoe, fail to leave any lasting impact to the point where you really don't care about their fates at all, which isn't very good, especially for a series that has got such a collection of beloved, memorable characters in previous titles. Ethan is a man of few words, and what little he says fails to convey any sense of character or accuracy for the situation this apparently normal, combat training lacking dude finds himself in. Again, the opening sequence provides some promise, as we're introduced to his motivation, and see him going through a truly harrowing experience with a suitable level of anguish and SCREAAAMINNNG. But from that point it's almost like he's on some sort of mood stabilising medication, reacting to the grotesque and horrific with dry one-liners and the occasional, flatly delivered expletive. We never end up learning much about him, he doesn't really go through any sort of meaningful arc (With one exception that will be covered in the later SPOILERS!? sequence), hell, we don't really even end up seeing what he looks like properly. He's just an avatar for the player to explore the Baker plantation in, which is often the case for first person games, but you expect a lot more from Resident Evil. 

    Mia, the wife Ethan's searching for is the only one to receive a meaty level of development or backstory, but even so said backstory feels contrapuntal to the behaviour/actions of the character we are seeing in the main narrative, to the point where she becomes one of the most uneven aspects of the whole experience. And as for Zoe...Zoe sure is...there. Although again, showing some initial promise in the first act, that's all quickly cast aside to present someone who's just there to push the game forwards and not much else at all. The Baker family are the main stars of the show, predictably, being the most interesting from a design, personality and backstory perspective, but even some of them feel poorly fleshed out, with a lot of the crucial details left to be found in text logs lazily peppered across the maps, rather than as part of the game's narrative itself (I get that this is a staple of the franchise, but some of it should have been made part of the story). Whilst I have no issue with taking the franchise in a new direction and introduction new, less capable characters to make things more tense and personal, the lack of effort on the developers behalf to make these newcomers worth caring about is truly very poor, and you end up caring little for their ultimate fates.

    Main Monsters are dull, annoying to fight.


    Whilst the Baker family are visually unique, charming and provide different types of experiences for their various segments, the most common, basic enemy of the RE7 is the 'Moulded'. Turning up in the first act of the game, they are an initially eerie and unsettling change of pace from the unrelenting attacks of the first Baker family member, with the initial moments of the basement set introduction to them providing another great moment for the game, dripping with menace and atmosphere. But by the end of that sequence, and for the rest of the game, they become nothing more than tiresome and dull. Feeling suspiciously similar in design, attack and frequency as Resident Evil Revelations' Ooze enemies, the Moulded come in a few different variations, but all end up looking exactly the same, and any threat or horror they may have induced initially quickly fades into annoyance, because these guys? They're a pain in the ass to fight, and will eat up the majority of your health and ammo supplies as a result. For the most part, they're manageable fodder. Give them a few shots to the head and they'll not be bothering you any more. Unfortunately, when they come in numbers, things become less manageable and more annoying. 

    The Moulded have a habit of swaying their entire bodies about, making accurate shots nearly impossible to guarantee, and whilst they seem like they'd be slow and easy to deal with regardless, they're surprisingly quick, and have attacks that not only have a far longer range than seemingly makes any form of sense, they also deal a lot of damage with each hit (There is a defence mechanic, but it's clunky at best). Again, that's all well and good when you're just dealing with the one, but the game often throws 3-4 of them at you, and in the early segments, you'll be encountering them in narrow corridors and cluttered rooms, making keeping a distance from multiple of these lunging enemies a right pain in the ass. More often than not, you can just run past them or close the door on them (They're unable to open unlocked doors that can be just pushed open because reasons) without taking too much damage, but at several points you'll need to actually explore a room or solve a puzzle, and that's when they become a real problem, but not in a fun way. Not only is all of this a pain, but the amount of hits it takes to eliminate these enemies varies way too much. Some can be taken out with a few shots to the head, others will take twice that many bullets, and both pretend to be downed, and also take a while to be confirmed dead, meaning you waste ammo and health on the misleading enemy animations. When you don't know what actual horrors lurk around the corner, and ammo is scarce, you really don't want to be wasting precious bullets on these nuisances, but the game often forces your hand in that respect. Basically these enemies are visually lacklustre, and not fun to fight against. Some actual enemy variety would've been great, this is Resident Evil, after all. When RE6 one-ups you in a key department like this? You've got yourself a problem.

    Insane Loading Times.


    A brief, technical criticism for sure, but it's as problem all the same. Whilst for the most part, RE7's world takes place in one seamless area, not requiring any loading screens to explore, when the game does need to load? You better strap in, because it's going to be a long wait, at least on the basic PS4 (Presumably it loads better on PS4 Pro). When starting up a save file again from the main menu, you can expect a loading time in the minutes, rather than seconds. I'm pretty sure it almost always takes at least 2 minutes for the game to load itself up at any time or place in the various levels. That's an insanely long loading time, one that's longer than Breath of the Wild loading the entire, vast open world on Wii U. This is a PS4 game with 23GB installation required just to play, it shouldn't take this long to boot up. Even if you play the entire game without closing it once, taking advantage of the PS4s handy-dandy suspend mode for games, which lets most if not all PS4 titles remain paused in the background even when the system is turned off, you'll still have to sit through similarly lengthy loading times for the various VHS tape sequences, to the point where the VHS timer animation on the loading screen will actually loop back because it's taking so long. And even with both of these insane loading times, it still takes a further 20-30 seconds for some of the textures in the game to load after the game finally starts up, which is ridiculous. This may well be a specific to standard PS4 problem, but it's a problem all the same, and whilst I'm aware the game has has a lot to load up, 2 minutes is still a mind-boggling amount of time to wait just to start playing.

    Wastes VHS potential.


    When RE7 was announced, one of the things that sounded most interesting to me was the introduction of VHS tapes, that aimed to provide separate, found-footage styled experiences featuring a cast of side-characters beyond Ethan himself. The thought of what crazy, horror-filled fun could await me in these various discoverable in-game tapes was far more prominent than my confusion as to why VHS tapes were being so predominantly used in a game set in 2017, and how these recordings were made with modern cameras and then converted to VHS tapes by people who surely had no time to do that and/or were dead (Something RE6 did as well on a smaller scale, oddly). The 'Beginning Hour' demo, despite not being wholly representative of the core RE7 experience, also teased the opportunity for VHS tape sequences to be able to effect the environment for Ethan in the present, offering a wealth of optional secret content, both in discoverable tapes, and time-bending unlocks. And then I played the main game and found out there's only 4 tapes, one of which is the same as Beginning Hour's tape, without the fun time-bending puzzles, and all the tapes are basically mandatory, or right in your face to the point where you can't possibly miss them. WELP.

    That's a pretty disappointing turn out, given the massive potential for inconsequential and fun spooky side-sequences the premise provided, not to mention the ability to present backstory to the player in ways beyond merely typing out some lore to read. But nope, you get 4 tapes, 3 new ones, only one of them providing any kinda of stand-alone horror experience, and only one providing any clever mechanics for the main game. All in all, it's a huge wasted opportunity. And that wasted opportunity becomes all the more suspicious when you realise RE7 came with a season pass baked in from the start. What does the season pass contain? A series of found footage styled, individual sequences that provide unique horror experiences and important backstory for key characters. Oh. So basically, they took all the non-important VHS tapes out of the main game, where they were probably secret collectables, and instead paywall'd them into individual DLC products of varying length and quality to the point where the season pass itself isn't of consistent value because they were clearly not meant to be stand-alone products. Oh. Great. Thanks for ruining a really cool idea for your cool game, Capcom. I guess even when we're doing something the fans want, for once, you'll still find a way to balls it up in some department.

    Doesn't go 'RESSIDDENNT EEEEVVILL' on the menu.

    I meeaan....come ooooonn! Even BLOODY OPERATION RACCOON CITY DID THE 'RESDIDDENETT EEEEVILL' PART, GUYS! I get you wanted to have a soft-reboot for the franchise, but SOME THINGS YOU JUST DON'T MESS WITH, MMM? Even if you didn't have it on the menu, you could've stuck it at the end for a fun ending surprise, but nope! It's just not in the game at all. No RESSSIIDEENNT. No EeEeeEVIL. Clearly, because of this, it's the worst Resident Evil game ever made, sorry guys, it's true. I would never lie to you. It's all over.


    The Choice, the Ending.


    We're in spoiler town now, as the SPOILERS?! heading suggests, so if you don't want key parts of RE7 spoiled, please do not read this part. Okay? OKAY. GOOD. the end of the game's 2nd Act, entering into the 3rd and final sequence, the game, oddly, presents you with a choice. After doing battle with Jack Baker for the final time, you end up with only one vial of cure for the moulded infection left, and the game rather abruptly makes you choose between Mia or Zoe. Mia being the wife you'd thought lost, Zoe the girl who helped you get to this point, and make the cure in the first place. Neither of them have had much fleshing out at this stage in the game, Zoe in fact never ends up being fleshed out at all, whilst Mia has spent more time attacking you then anything else up to this point. That said, the obvious choice is Mia, she's the reason you're here in the first place, so you go ahead and cure her. And then...weirdly leave Zoe alone as you sail away, Zoe never being seen again from that point, dead or alive, her story is over, THE END. From that point on, you get attacked by the mould, Ethan gets kidnapped and you play as Mia for a sizeable portion of the 3rd act, fleshing her backstory out and revealing the true mastermind behind the events of the game. But what happens if you give the cure to Zoe instead? You take Zoe with you instead, leave Mia behind ..and then Zoe immediately dies in the same attack, Ethan gets kidnapped again...and then...Mia, for literally no reason is in the same location and the exact same sequence plays out again. Oh. 

    The key difference is in the ending to the Mia sequence, and the game itself. If you cure Mia she just ends up getting infected at the end of the sequence anyway, but she manages to get you to safety before it takes over...and then, at the very end of the game, she's alive and well...and...seemingly cured, and Ethan talks about how great it is that she's back. Woowee. If you don't cure her? She doesn't get you out in time, she turns, and Ethan has to kill her. Cue sad ending where he escapes alone and contemplates his lack of future options. Woo. The issue with all of this odd a choice it is being given to you. The main objective of the entire game is to rescue your wife, and Zoe has had barely any time to make an impression, how many people are going to pick her? And then the ramifications of that action are quickly brushed aside to the point where it doesn't even make sense. If you cure Mia, she gets infected again anyway, if you cure Zoe, she dies immediately and then the game plays out as if you picked Mia in the first place, except this time you hit her with a crowbar a bunch and then have a blub about it at the end. That's it. I'm all for choice and consequence in games when it makes sense, and works. But this choice feels...not even half-baked, it feels like it's not even been put in the oven yet, comes out of nowhere, gets promptly ignored and only has a bearing on about 1 minute of the game. It's stupid.

    Worth Buying?


    Whether or not RE7 is going to be worth the full price of admission is going to depend on how you establish the worth of a game, on the overall quality of the experience, or the amount of content provided in the package. In terms of the overall quality of the game, as I feel I've laid out in this review, it's a consistently enjoyable, atmospheric and well paced horror title, with a case of gradually diminishing returns after the first 2 hours, with maybe an ending that will leave you wanting. It's not a perfect game, but it offers a lot of great moments, and even in its weaker moments is still a solid and quality product, and a great return to form for the RE franchise. That said, in terms of content provided? It's maybe a little lacking compared to past RE titles. With RE4-6 offering campaign running times in the 12-20 hour marks, compared to RE7s 6-9 hours, with additional content on the side, such as unlockable costumes, additional side-stories (In the case of RE6 and later versions of RE4) and meatiest of all, The Mercenaries (Which is understandably absent in RE7, but still missed), a robust arcadey shooter with multiple characters, settings, enemies and in the case of 5/6, online multiplayer. RE5 and RE6 also offered online co-op for the campaign, and the option to select specific levels to replay in the pursuit of collectables and high scores. RE7 has none of these features, although it does offer some unlockable items depending on the difficulty you beat the game on, and the amount of time it took you to beat it, but these aren't particularly fun unlocks so much as they are useful items for future playthroughs. Other than that, RE7 offers no high score system, no option to replay specific levels and no on disc side-content (Although the game hints at future, free DLC, the situation regarding that is all very much up in the air right now). What it lacks in bonus content or replay value, though, it makes up for in a high quality, well paced campaign, and should you ever have the money to pick up a PSVR headset, the entire game can be played in VR, for added spookyness. The value of RE7 as a purchase is going to depend on if you favour a reasonably lengthy, tightly designed campaign over a wealth of content that may vary in quality considerably, I'm looking at you, RE6. Regardless, at this point in time, it's probably quite easy to get a good deal on RE7, so maybe that won't even matter.



    It makes me really happy to see the Resident Evil franchise return to its survival horror roots, and do so in such a polished, well designed product. I may be in the minority when it comes to really enjoying RE5, and finding enjoyment in the notoriously uneven RE6, but this is easily the best Resident Evil game since 4, and I would personally say it was a better, more Resident Evil'y....Resident Evil game than 4, which changed the game up considerably, and provided a lot of fun in the process, but certainly didn't bring a lot of palpable atmosphere or fear to the table (In my opinion). RE7 isn't perfect, it never manages to rekindle the dizzying heights of the opening acts once they've passed, and the most frequent enemies are also the least enjoyable to encounter. But when it all comes together, it really does sizzle with an energy and quality that's been absent from the franchise for a long time now, and brings the best aspects of the original trilogy of games into the present day whilst adapting it all to feel fresh and modern. I have my issues, but on a whole, I feel this is a great game, and a right change of course for the franchise. I hope they continue down this avenue for the inevitable follow-up, and Resident Evil 8 polishes up the few naggling problems I have to create a truly magnificent product. But for now, Resident Evil 7 is...a....WELCOME addition TO THE FAMILY....aah...SON! AHAH...AHUHUH...AHOOHHH....get it? Cuz...that's a the game. Mmhm...ukay...never mind.

    There we go, another review...reviewed. Or whatever. What did you think of the reviiiew? Have you played the game? What are your thoughts on it? Where does it rank in the series for you? Do you think I'm a fucking idiot for liking RE5? LET ME KNOOOOOW in the comments below, and be sure to ZING this fucker, and share it about if you feel it's worth sharing. Have a good summer, guys and gals, see you soon! LATER GATORS.

  • Transitions Are Hard

    5 months ago


    Graduation: April 29th, 2017 with a BS in Human Services, Counseling

    New job: starting sometime in the following weeks

    Two weeks notice: halfway through the first week

    Grad school plan: TBD

    Moving out (not to a college campus): TBD 

    These are all answers to questions I'm asked on an almost daily basis. Monotonous, dull, predictable answers from a recent college graduate that people pretend to be surprised about when given as a response. When asked these questions, I feel as though those questioning are trying to see if I have a plan because they don't. Or maybe, those questioning find comfort in my no knowing what the hell is going on, because if a 20-something can't figure it out right a way then maybe they aren't as bad off as they thought. 

    Although my "season" of transition is more apparent than others, I am learning that we are all in transition. Some have a five-year-plan, some a five-second-plan, and either way we are just trying to make our way through. Transitions, no matter how small, are hard and don't let anyone minimize that for you. You can feel growing pains. You'll never really grow into this life otherwise.

  • The Daily Pack: Introduction

    6 months ago


    Hello everybody!

    Check out this new Hearthstone series called "The Daily Pack"! Follow Scaramooch on his journey to collect every Hearthstone card in the game!

    Click here for The Daily Pack: Introduction

    Thank you,


  • Road to a YouTuber House - Chapter 1: People, Places and Things

    6 months ago

    DerekE23 DrummerBoy

    I suppose I should clarify my current situation. It's a bit of a challenge in its own and I haven't really even started yet.

    I live in a smallish, kind-of hick town in Florida called Ocala. In no way, shape or form is this town the center of digital media or is it a Silicon Valley 2.0. Not even a 0.5. This place is considered to be the horse racing capital of the world. Farmland and forest for days. 

    We have a mall, so I guess there's that.

    The point I'm trying to get across is that trying to start any form of business or hobby that delves into the great beyond of technology or Internet HERE is practically masochistic. There's no support for that kind of thing. So starting off, that's a huge challenge. Plus, how does one explain to a Floridian landlord we'll be using the place to record podcasts, skits, videos and the such? I can imagine the blank look on their face now.

    The people I have trying to work with me on this don't really help the problem either.

    My friend Michael (if you'd like to get to know him, be sure to watch my GTA videos on my YouTube channel and you'll get a quick idea on what hes about) and I started this idea in the first place. 

    Actually we really wanted to go into game design, went to school for it together and decided it wasn't really for us. Then we started making gameplay videos and enjoyed it so much we wanted to make it a full-time thing. We thought, wouldn't it be cool if we could record all of our gameplay, cameras, and mics under one roof and literally work from home and make entertaining stuff for people instead of having to lug around all of our electronic junk just to make a video or two in a couple hours? We decided to make this our main goal from then on. Kind of over our heads here, but if you have a dream you can't just say no to it. You have to let it happen. 

    We then asked around our personal posse of friends and asked if anyone was interested in starting this up. So we enlisted the help of our friend Kevin, and my girlfriend Anna. I already live with Anna so it was pretty much a sure thing from the get-go. But fact of the matter is she can't deal with Michael. He's a bit of a handful, understandably. Over time, tensions rose between the two and she didn't want in anymore. So then there was three.

    We all three work at the same place, oddly enough. It's okay pay, enough to get where we need I think but with only three people it makes it difficult. How are we supposed to pay for everything house-wise without the financial support of more than three people?..

    Equipment isn't an easy acquisition either. I have a set of equipment for my personal channel (capture card, mic, camera, computer, etc.), but to hit the standards of quality that we're setting for ourselves we really need a set for every person involved.

    It's basically mostly financial issues, personal drama between people and the location of the house. These are the pre-house issues we must overcome if this is to work.

    We have a lot of work to do.