we have gathered here today
to pay our final respects to a most loyal companion there ever was, Lorie-chan.
Lorie-chan and I first met in around the summer 2011. Or was it 2012. Well, anyway. We travelled a lot together, mostly between the towns of Tampere and JKL but sometimes as far as Helsinki. He was quite heavy to carry around and he'd take a lot of space, too, but it was always so hard to leave him behind despite these slight inconveniences. He was also quite expensive to have, so I did my best to look after him and rather took him with me than left him in the hands of others.
And though I put him through a lot of daily use, and I wasn't always sure what I was doing with him, Lorie-chan stayed with me and he has been my most trusted companion. Oh, we had our fights, sometimes over so silly things too, but we'd always manage to work out a compromise.
But in the past 2 years, I'd known our time together was coming to its end. He started having so many battery-related and overheating issues, and indeed just the other night he decided he'd had enough of my antics while I was figuring out how to get out of the poor ending in Doki Doki Literature Club. Thankfully he forgave me and recovered quickly, but I knew I should finally let him rest - I had occasionally looked up candidates to replace him, yet it was hard to let go - terrifying, too, because I knew it would become expensive. Looking up replacements also felt slightly insulting to him, since he was still performing well despite his age.
Despite all the sentimentality, I knew it had to be done. So. Today I met my new best friend, PR3DDY.
So now I can finally let Lorie-chan retire and enjoy his final earthly moments in peace, without me demanding him to spring into action for several hours a day. So sigh with relief, Lorie-chan, for your excellent service has come to its end now! You will be missed, and you won't be forgotten.
Blessed be, Lorie-chan. Goodbye. <3