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| Signed up: |
7 years ago (10/11/04)
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Last signed in:
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6 years ago
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Total time online:
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0d 0h 58m
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32 year-old male from Amherst, NY
Penny Arcade's Child's Play
Charity | Latest Post | |
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New Years
Well since undoubtedly some of you are wondering (yet most of you dont give a rats arse) about my new years, let me tell you, it was interesting. I would like to start my tale by giving you all a piece of advice: Never go out on one of the biggest partying nights of a year with a friend who is going to bring his sister that happens to be a 250lb+ black woman. I dont mean to be prejudicial here, but damn, like many others like her i've met, that girl tood forever to get ready and damn can she argue and make one hell of a scene.
Anyways, we arrived to this new place we were going 2 hours late on account of Eric's sister (Sereeta) and left her to go do her thing. This place was a pretty nice bar/club with a whole bunch of floors. Cover was $50 with free drinks from 8-midnight and cash bar after that. So we worked quickly to get tanked and I had begun working mad game on women as I am prone to doing with enough liquor, and I'm of course being summarily shot down.
A little before midnight I meandered upstairs to the main dance floor which was packed so tightly with people I was automatically grinding with everyone next to me. This of course worked to my drunken advantage since such dancing is quite simple. Next thing I knew, the perverbial ball was dropped and I had a gorgeous asian woman all over me. And as quickly as she was there, she left me used and abused (just like the cheap one-legged whore Patrick left me).
I end up meandering downstairs to the bar in search of my friends and eventually more booze since I was almoast done with one part of my double-fist. Somehow while looking for them I managed to strike up a conversation with a bunch of guys and girls from poland. Like, Krakow Poland, not polish-americans. We're talkin about who knows what and I finsihed my beer and set it down. As soon as it hit the table one of the polish guys goes, "So you are ready for beer now."
And I said, "Well, I still have this other one here."
"You are ready then, I get you beer" he proclaimed.
So being one who always accepts charity, I watched him go over to the bar and then just kept talking with the rest of them. A couple minutes later he arrives with 5 more beers and says, "Here, you drink."
After picking my mouth up off the floor and sufficiently stammering many thanks at such a wonderful and glorious offering he begins to tell me that he and his buddies have some kind of VIP pass where they get free drinks all night and tells me if I ever need another drink to let him know. Until that moment I was unsure heaven existed, but thereafter I was certain it did :D
Eventually my friends found me with my newfound guardian angels and we had quite the good time. Unfortunately for me, I began to drink to the point of developing the ever feared beer goggles. And we're not talking simple lenses here or even coke bottles for lenses, I went straight for the telescopic lenses on my beer goggles. And my friends, being oh so considerate, allowed me to go after numerous behemoths and swamp things. Mercifully though they stopped me from leaving with any of them and prevented me from going after any women with boyfriends larger than myself.
They did however tell me that I ended up hitting on one of the polish guys' HOT girlfriend. And rather than beat me into a small pulp, he had a good laugh, especially since I was just talking to both of them not 5 minutes earlier... I remember none of this.
I am also told that as my drunken coup de gras later in the night on the way home I passed out on Sereeta's lap and summarily drooled all over her. I didnt bother to apologize :)
Somehow through all of my efforts I ended up waking up on my friends' couch, without anyone next to me, no hangover, and no need to boot. Many memories of the night are gone yet I am told, MANY incriminating pictures were taken and will be used against me at some unknown point in the future at my wedding...
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| Awards | | | | The Goods | | | Name |
Mike | | Occupation |
Own my own Marketing buisness | | Birthday |
March 14th, 1980 | | Interests |
Freeing people from their jobs videogames football and paintball | | CRAPTACUALR'S... | | | Music |
Hoobastank Linkin Park Chevelle Goo Goo Dolls Green Day Lustra Incubus 311 (old 311...) Rush Zeppelin Aerosmith Live Chili Peppers (again old) Pre-mainstream Barenaked Ladies and anything fun to listen to | | Movies |
Usual Suspects Star Wars Shawshank Redemption Ocean's 11 | | TV Shows |
NFL Football Mythbusters American Chopper Overhaulin and the final episodes of any sort of trick reality show only |
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