Sleep Well Beloved Puppy, I Love YouI don't know how to begin this... When you've had an incredibly smart and clever animal with a huge personality, infuriatingly adept problem solving skills, and who (if she had her choice) would never leave your side... they are no longer just an animal, and I would go so far as to say that they are no longer just "a family member" either. Sis, was with us for 14 years, that's 98 in dog years... and she certainly lived up to her name. She was in a lot of ways like a second little sister, in fact Sis' personality and my sister's personality were a lot alike...
Fuck, I can't even write this without crying.
Sis' quality of life was not there anymore....

Sleep Well Beloved Puppy, I Love YouI don't know how to begin this... When you've had an incredibly smart and clever animal with a huge personality, infuriatingly adept problem solving skills, and who (if she had her choice) would never leave your side... they are no longer just an animal, and I would go so far as to say that they are no longer just "a family member" either. Sis, was with us for 14 years, that's 98 in dog years... and she certainly lived up to her name. She was in a lot of ways like a second little sister, in fact Sis' personality and my sister's personality were a lot alike...
Fuck, I can't even write this without crying.
Sis' quality of life was not there anymore. My sister was taking care of her intensively for a year now, the equivalent of a doggy nursing home. She had lost bladder control, lost feeling in her back leg and was chewing on it the point of bleeding (she always was a "picker" like the rest of us), and couldn't make it up the single step from the porch to the grass half the time without her hips giving out on her making her.
So my mom, sister and I came to the unanimous agreement when it was made perfectly clear that my sister could not take Sis with her to Michigan this year because the trip there and back would probably kill her, that it was time to put her to sleep. We were all hoping it wouldn't come to this, but none of us were surprised, Sis was always a stubborn bitch (why am I crying agin?)... but she was my stubborn bitch and she wouldn't go because she knew my sister needed her so much. My sister had a steam cleaner on standby 24/7 for all the times she would lose control of her bladder... my sister did this because she loves her so much and could not let her go... I know this is why Sis stayed with us for so long, she knew my sister needed her.
We gave her her favorite beverages and foods (wine, beer, grilled chicken, and popcorn) as her "last meal.." She always had a belly god so it was really nice to see her suddenly look years younger as we dropped popcorn down at her and she would try and catch it in her mouth, it was her favorite way to eat food because of the anticipation and being able to snap her jaws around the food with a literal and satisfying snapping sound. She even told her aching body "fuck you" and rolled on the carpet like she used to do when she was happy, that was heartwarming to see. She even got excited to go for a car ride, which she hadn't been excited for in over a year as well. I think she knew, she was smart, perceptive, and great at reading emotion and body language. Here eyes were always full of unspoken words (which would sometimes creep our friends out), and when we got to the vet, she had this look that said "okay."
My sister couldn't be there, she knew she would stop it from happening if she were there, so she asked mom and I to do it without her. As much as we both wanted her to be there, we knew she was right. When she shut her eyes and laid her head down.... I cried like a baby, sitting on the floor holding onto her and my mom, Ken with his hands on both our shoulders. It was so peaceful, she went surrounded by her family, but even now I feel a raw gaping hole in my heart where she belongs.
Mom and I both got shit-faced in Sis's honor while Ken babysat us and drove me home last night. We had wine, beer, and vodka as we stayed up until the early morning hours holding our own private "visitation" for her.
We'll be getting her ashes returned to us and will also have rings made with her paw prints (shrunken down) engraved on them.
I hope that if I ever get another dog, I'm lucky enough to have one that's even half the "person" she was.
Goodbye my beloved Sis, you will always be "my baby girl," spoken in that silly "talk to your dog" voice.