Signed up: 6 years ago (5/05/09)
Last signed in: 1 year ago
Friends11 Friends
22 year-old male from Bloomfield, NM
My story is one unlike any you have ever heard. My mother left me on Santas doorstep wearing nothing but a smile. I was raised by an elf with a craving for human flesh and his prostitute wife. I avioded being eaten by the crazed elf by convincing him that I was a decorative lamp. I was forced to eat nothing but large rodents and ding-dongs until Santa mistook me for a basketball and took me in his bag of toys to America where my first job was cleaning porto-potties with my bare hands!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Goods
Name Jacob
Occupation professional slacker
Birthday December 12th, 1992
Interests paintball girls video games and machinima.
Groups Show 9 More
Games Show 73 More
Music Classic rock.
Movies School of Rock and Talledega Nights
TV Shows Supernatural Reaper Dexter House and American Idol
Books Currently reading Duma Key by Stephen King