I really hope my boyfriend makes it to RTXOk. Here's the deal. I miss my boyfriend SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much. We've always had a tricky relationship. I don't think it's ever been easy. If our relationship is a car, we've hit so many bumps in the road and have driven in so many circles and even driven off the road so many times the car should be totaled and we should both be dead. However we fight for our relationship. Even now with 1,600 miles between us, with me working 6am to 4pm (central time) and him working 3 pm to 10pm (translated to central time) we continue to fight. By the time RTX comes around we won't have seen each other for 8 months. I'm still not 100% sure h...

I really hope my boyfriend makes it to RTXOk. Here's the deal. I miss my boyfriend SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much. We've always had a tricky relationship. I don't think it's ever been easy. If our relationship is a car, we've hit so many bumps in the road and have driven in so many circles and even driven off the road so many times the car should be totaled and we should both be dead. However we fight for our relationship. Even now with 1,600 miles between us, with me working 6am to 4pm (central time) and him working 3 pm to 10pm (translated to central time) we continue to fight. By the time RTX comes around we won't have seen each other for 8 months. I'm still not 100% sure he is even going to make it here. We'll have the night of the 4th through the night of the 7th together and then he goes away again for who knows how long. He was potentially offered 2 job opportunities, one in Arizona and one traveling around the US, neither of which I'd want him to pass up. I just hate not being able to fall asleep next to him at night. I hate not being able to hog his bed. I hate not being able to wake him up and kiss him good morning before I leave for work. I hate not being able to see him smile. I hate that we can't eat dinner together anymore. I hate not having tabasco sauce in EVERYTHING (I was never a fan but after him putting it in so many dinners I have learned to love it). I miss us watching YouTube videos together, whether it be RoosterTeeth videos such as RageQuit and Let's Plays, TobyGames or other random videos, that make us laugh SO hard we can't breathe and begin to cry. And just when we start to be able to breathe one of us starts giggling and it sets us off laughing like idiots all over again. I wish I had the world to give him. I hope that he does manage to make it here for RTX and I can be stuck to him like a magnet all weekend. This being apart thing is miserable. As much as I love being here in Texas I regret leaving every day. As much as I felt trapped in NJ I'd rather be trapped there with him than roll over at night and see an empty bed. I used to like gaming (I used to play Medal of Honor on the computer and PS games on my brother's PS) but I probably wouldn't have embraced my love of gaming like I have had he not reignited that spark. In fact, it is entirely possible I wouldn't have discovered RoosterTeeth without him. He showed me my first ever episode of Red vs Blue (I later repaid him for that by showing him RT Shorts, RT Podcasts and Let's Plays). He's made me as much the person I am today as my family has. That is impressive concidering I've only known him about 5 years and I've known my family 25 years. And as much as he's done to improve my life I'd like to think I've done the same for him. He's gone through dark times within himself and I always like to think that I am a shining light through that darkness. And when he tries to shut out the light I just shine brighter. Maybe it sounds stupid but I feel as if part of me is missing when he is not around. So I really hope he makes it to RTX. I have 8 months of emptiness to fill and an additional unknown quantity to fill for however long we'll have to be apart after that. We do talk and we do still watch Let's Plays together. It helps, don't get me wrong, but is nowhere NEAR the same as having him in my arms and me being in his. I will enjoy RTX even if I end up going alone. There is no doubt. However you will never see a happier me if he is there with me.

*Sorry that was just one giant paragraph. I wanted to space it out a little to make it easier on the brain (not that many people are going to read this anyway). I just couldn't find a decent place to split it and it is getting late and I've been up since early and have to get up early again tomorrow. I just have been thinking about how painfully much I miss him every day and needed to get it out somewhere. So if you did read this. Thank you. Even if no one reads it at least it is out there.*