Signed up: 9 years ago (9/30/05)
Last signed in: 6 months ago
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34 year-old male from Craphole Canberra, Australia
And then I would wonder if I was losing my mind. Did I delight in heaving back and forth in bed at night, waking the next morning exhausted and ill-tempered? Come now, i would say to myself, all this anguish over her? All this torment for an ex-cocktail waitress, a two faced cunt who only wanted my money, house, name and piece of mind? Did I really want to become half of a completely insane, self-destructive, self- defeating union?

Yes! I screamed. Yes! YES!

That's right Jack, I'm watching you - Ira Gaines
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32?Since turning 32 I've been thinking about my love life and realized that its been far to long since the last time I was in love. Not just caring, but totally out of my fucking mind in love.

I'm just looking for that one special woman, a who just grabs you, the woman that who separates you from your friends, not intentionally like a Yoko Ono kind of way but, just kind of like "Oh my god. This chick is fascinating, everything she says is amazing" So amazing you don't want to hang out with your friends, You would rather hang out with her.

So you end up pushing your friends over a bit. They can be "wanna go out for a bit?" And you are like "Nah man, I'm going to hang out with this chick, she is fucking awesome"

And she enlightens you, she teaches you things, and she is beautiful, and sexy, and fucks like a demon.

She is everything you dream about, and for some unknown fucking reason she is interested in you, She has turned the sun onto you. And you find that you don't ever want to let that go. Because once you have stood in the light of the sun, the reflection from the moon will never be as warm.

So you work hard to stay around that, and you love being around her. And you do things together.

She is the kind of chick that's like when you say "Hey, Wanna go to Zeffirelli's?" and she is "Fuck yeah I love that place". And you're ecstatic because you found one of the good ones. So then there you are sitting across from each other eating of each others plate, when suddenly you feel her rubbing your leg under the table. So you look up at her and she is looking at you with those eyes, those bedroom eyes.

And you know that fucking expression that is on her face, but you play it off as "What?" and she replies with "Lets go fuck in the bathroom" And you come back with "We cant fuck in the bathroom, there are people here. There is an old couple staring at us. The waitress is probably thinking with going to dine and dash" She says "Ill tell you what. I'm going to the bathroom and I'm going to wait to get fucked, and i hope its by you"

And off she goes to the bathroom, and you are left at the table stammering like an idiot. Then you start looking around, and you are scared and your heart is pounding. And you look over at the old couple who are enjoying the early bird special, and you lock eyes with the 80 odd year old woman is looking at you so disapprovingly, whilst beside her, her 85 year old husband has a ear to ear grin and is mouthing the word "GOOOO" at you.

So you get the fuck up and you go to the bathroom, and you look and hope that she is in the men's, but no she is going to make you work for it. So you go into the ladies bathroom and enter the stall, and there she is. You lock the door, and you start fucking hardcore in the Zeff's bathroom right against the stall partition wall. And its passionate and feverish, at one point your foot slips in the bowl, she accidentally hits the flusher, and when she climaxes she is loud. Everyone in the restaurant knows what going on and you just don't care.

Is that too much to ask for?
2 years ago  |  Comments (0)
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Name Its behind the Sofa
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