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Create a character for RWBY

Posts (85109)

  • user-5a98361f8663d

    user-5a98361f8663d

    #33735699 - 2 months ago

    let not forget that there are other way's that can give your OC a leg up that are not semblance related.

    like a piece of tec/armor say an arm guard with a built in grappling device to not only help then to reach hard to get to places but can also a way to pull there opponents weapons out of there hand from a distance.

  • Jwebb1115

    Jwebb1115 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    #33735714 - 2 months ago

    >https://www.deviantart.com/jwebb1996/art/Diana-Jade-760490772


    Hope you guys like this one. 


    Name: Diana Jade

    Weight: 150

    Height: 5’7 

    Occupation: Huntress in training

    Origin: Atlas 

    Inspiration: Aloy 

    School: Beacon

    Age: 17

    Race: Human


    Personality: Unlike most people from Atlas, Diana isn’t stuck up or snobby. She is very professional and prides herself on her accuracy. She is also a very tactical thinker and can solve almost any problem.


    Weapon/Fighting Style: Diana uses a high tech energy bow she named Skadi. The bow fires energy arrows and also has a rapid fire mode. It also has two energy blades on each end and can straighten out into a staff. A energy cartridge needs to be loaded into the weapon for any of the offensive features to be used. Dust can be implemented into this weapon and the bow changes colors depending on what dust type is loaded. For example fire dust= red neon lights. Diana prefers to keep at a distance when fighting, but she can fall back on her staff fighting skills when she needs to. She is a sharpshooter and rarely misses. 


    Aura Color: Green


    Semblance: By physically touching an object Diana can bind a grey glyph to that object. By hitting it with one of her energy arrows the glyph turns green and explodes with kinetic energy. This semblance can be used in combination with dust as well. For example lighting dust= yellow glyph and emp explosion. Binding glyphs to things from a distance requires Diana to concentrate for a few moments, but since that wastes time she uses it during close quarters and then distances herself before firing. 


    Yeah I was too lazy to type in her appearance so that’s what the link is for. Also I don’t have a solid backstory for her yet.



  • FlameHaze001

    FlameHaze001

    #33735718 - 2 months ago

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33735723 - 2 months ago

    In reply to FlameHaze001

    Dude, considering some of the OCs you've made in the past, I don't think you have room to imply the idea that something deserves criticism.


    In reply to Jwebb1115

    This OC is far from the worst I've seen, but there are a few areas that need some work and/or slight revision. Her personality section is good, but it could use a little bit more detail. As is, she seems a little one note. What kind of temperament does she have? What kinds of things make her angry? How good with people is she? Is she very by-the-book professional, following rules and orders without question, or is she a free rouge kind of professional, following her own moral codes and such? Is she only professional when in the work environment, able to let loose and have fun with friends when she's not in school or on a missions? Or is she very serious no matter the circumstances. Nothing you have for her personality section now is bad, I'd say it's actually rather good. It just needs more elaboration.


    Weapons aren't my field of expertise, but I do have a few small points to bring up. First up, the energy aspect. I'm assuming that by energy, you're referring to the hard light technology we saw Velvet use during the season 3 finally. This isn't a bad thing, in fact it's rare I see anyone use hard light, but maybe readjust the phrasing to be a bit more clear on what you mean by 'energy'. There's a lot of different kinds of energy out there: heat, electrical, kinetic, potential, etc. You might want to also slightly clarify the 'blades' on the ends of the weapon's staff mode. I realized when I reread it that you meant they were spear heads, but because you just said blades, the first thing that came to my mind was Cinder's weapon from the flashback in season 3 episode 7. Other than needing to clarify some things and phrase things better, I think this weapon is really cool and unique! Especially by bow RWBY weapon standards. I especially like how she's not just using dust arrow heads, but is instead using dust cartridges to add effects to otherwise normal arrows.


    Now for the only part of this character I don't really like: her semblance. It's not because it's a glyph thing and that's canonically a Shnee thing (although a bow wielder using glyphs does remind me of the fan made viridian trailer). What bothers me about this semblance is that it doesn't seem to do anything on it's own. What good would it do if she didn't have any arrows left? Wouldn't it just sit there and do nothing? On it's own, it's just a semblance that draws a glyph on something and then just...... sits there....... doing nothing........ the whole battle. I can understand wanting a semblance that easily mixes with dust for added effects, but I think you need to find a way to change it so it's not basically doing nothing.


    Obviously this character still needs an appearance section and a history section, but judging it solely on what you've got finished, I think this character has a lot of potential! It needs some re-phrasing to make certain things more clear, and some extra details in the personality section, but other than that, it's an excellent frame work for the start of an OC.

  • Monodramatic

    Monodramatic

    #33735724 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety


    Disagree on the Semblance. It feels like the glyphs release concussive force whenever they're hit with enough kinetic energy, so it could be activated even without the arrows. For example, you'd put a glyph on something and then strike it with a melee weapon and the same effect would occur. The usage of the arrows seams like a neat fighting style that's built around the Semblance to prevent you from taking damage at close range, since you won't be hit by the resulting blast of the glyph. 


    Or that's just my silly headcanon.


    In reply to FlameHaze001


    Huh? You know, the character isn't anything egregious or terrible, the bio is just a little bare-bones but still has some creative concepts (I kind of enjoy the Semblance on an aesthetic level). Not sure why you felt the need to say that.



  • Jwebb1115

    Jwebb1115 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    #33735725 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety


    Yeah I shoulda been more detailed about her personality and her weapon and the hard light concept slipped my mind honestly. As for her semblance I was in fact inspired viridian trailer. I originally had an idea that the glyphs explode on there own after a short like a sort of concussion blast and hitting it with different arrows adds different effects. I just thought having it be a semblance where the user would have to put in work to fully utilize it would kinda make it balanced.

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33735727 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jwebb1115

    Ah. Alright then. In that case yeah, it's a good semblance, it just needs some better phrasing. Some of the concepts do kinda dance a fine line between original and strikingly similar to the viridian trailer character, but if you're ok with some people giving this character a few suspicious looks due to the similarities, or if you can find some ways to slightly tweak it so it's not so similar (I think making the semblance some symbol other than a glyph would probably create enough of a difference to get rid of 67% of the suspicious looks), than I'd say this character just needs built up a bit more. Nothing bad, it just needs more.

  • PaperGodzilla

    PaperGodzilla

    #33735729 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety 


    The weapon from the images and the discription seems like a physical bow but instead of arrow it forms energy bolts. I am assumeing this is like Neptune's and Penny's energy weapon.  You could give this weapon a super charge effect  were you pull the bow back and hold it.  you could have it give you a super blast.  somting like the spiderbot in the black trailer or penny's big attack.  the melee wepaon I would refer to as a sword staff or maybe even  Bat'leth from Star Trek.


    for your semblances I like the charging an object with kinetic force so it becomes a bomb.  You could make them time bombs and then if you shoot the they detinated it early.  For more detail in the effect you could store up kinetic force through out the day every move charges your pool of kinetic that you can put into the bombs.

  • Ace-of-Rogues

    Ace-of-Rogues FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Main Weapon: Rapier Wit

    #33735730 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jwebb1115

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety

    Personally I don't think "energy weapon" is too vague. I've often seen it used as a sort of sci-fi shorthand for anything that shoots or uses lasers, plasma, etc. with the added bonus of being vague enough that it's harder for people to point out specific reasons why the concept wouldn't work in reality. Thus, the lightsabers and blasters of Star Wars could both be classified as "energy weapons". It's a bit vague, but I think it still gets enough of the core concept across.

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33735731 - 2 months ago

    In reply to PaperGodzilla

    I'd recommend NOT using comparisons to another franchise as a method of explaining something. Anyone not familiar with the series you reference will still have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. For example, I've never watched anything Star Trek related, and have absolutely no idea what you're referring to when you say "Bat'leth".

    In reply to Ace-of-Rogues

    I always assumed the light sabers were plasma. They behave like it.

  • PaperGodzilla

    PaperGodzilla

    #33735733 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety well that's why I include the series it's form so people could look it up.  There's not really a better description of a staff with blades on each end and by looking at the photo it looks like the bat'leth.

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33735738 - 2 months ago

    In reply to PaperGodzilla

    And how many people are you expecting to care enough to look it up? It's a writers job to explain things in a clear manner. If you have to make comparisons to a separate work, that conveys an unwillingness to put in the effort to explain it properly in a way all audience members can understand. And some people can get annoyed by the idea that a writer is expecting them to do work in the form of research when they could have done the effort themselves. If the writer doesn't care enough to explain things properly, why should the audience care enough to pay attention to the character?

  • FlameHaze001

    FlameHaze001

    #33735740 - 2 months ago

  • Rakolai

    Rakolai FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Huntsman

    #33735741 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Jacinta-Capelety

    In reply to PaperGodzilla


    For the sake of nipping this in the bud, this is what a Bat'leth looks like.

    645351-bat_leth.jpg


    However, PaperGodzilla, to make a point off of what Jacinta said, I would strongly recommend including a reference image if you refer to something that some people might not be familiar with, especially if you're having a hard time describing it. For example, your description of "a staff with blades on each end" might be how you describe a Bat'leth but for me, it makes me think of something like this:

    b79e16199f2dc097c55b0de3cb434621-d8727a4


    Having a picture of what you're talking about would, at the very least, provide a visual example of your suggestion and help avoid any confusion.

  • jVictor

    jVictor FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33735745 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Rakolai


    This also highlights that the Bat'leth (like many Klingon weapons) is woefully impractical and... just kinda shitty. 

  • jVictor

    jVictor FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33735759 - 2 months ago

    Sorry for double post, but, uh....comic!


    vOjBplY.jpg

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33735783 - 2 months ago

    In reply to jVictor

    Uh oh, Gawain's getting serious. Shit's about to go down!

  • FlameHaze001

    FlameHaze001

    #33735842 - 2 months ago

  • FlameHaze001

    FlameHaze001

    #33736001 - 2 months ago

  • Jacinta-Capelety

    Jacinta-Capelety

    #33736007 - 2 months ago

    In reply to FlameHaze001

    You don't really need to announce that you're gonna be absent. I'm pretty sure everyone here will just assume that if you're not posting regularly, you either have nothing you want to say, or you're busy. Or both.

  • jVictor

    jVictor FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33736276 - 2 months ago

    Gawain shots guns and doesn't afraid of anything:


    JN7agz6.jpg

  • Malochroma

    Malochroma FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Mollymaukery

    #33736840 - 2 months ago

    In reply to c4ble

    In reply to FlameHaze001

    As someone who recently almost completely broke down from trying to juggle animation AND writing AND a full time job with very little sleep or proper nutrition, I 100% encourage Flame to go down the route that lets them maintain their job and their mental and physical health. If they need a few weeks' break from writing to adjust to the sudden change in Life Schedule, I say they should take it. Whatever works.

  • Monodramatic

    Monodramatic

    #33736841 - 2 months ago

    In reply to c4ble


    This feels so out of the blue. Firemane isn't exactly doing anything unhealthy by taking a step back from an environment he finds stressful, even moreso if he's also got work going on. Why are you so bothered by it?

  • jVictor

    jVictor FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold For Science

    #33736855 - 2 months ago

    In reply to Monodramatic


    I think Cable's just frustrated because Firemane has a demonstrated habit of exaggerating their problems in an attempt to gain sympathy. It's not that someone's saying "Yo, I'm taking a break from content creation for mental health reasons" that set him off. It's that Firemane's the one doing it.

  • AnimeAnnemarie

    AnimeAnnemarie

    #33736903 - 2 months ago

    In reply to jVictor I don't even think it's purely that, it's also that it's not really necessary to announce it like that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯