1-800-Magic Quotables

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ShadowStylez

Post the lines that stick in your mind or make you laugh or make you ask, "WTF?!"

I thought this exchange was pretty funny:

Tech Support: Tech support.
Guy: Yeah... yeah my-h, my weapon's jammed. Ugh.
Tech Support: Okay, no problem. You know what model you're running today?
Bidderman: Yeah it's a-

A round grazes him

Bidderman: Ugh. U-e-ough, uh.
Tech Support: You sound busy. Maybe you should call back at another time.
Guy: H-H-4-5! My my gun, my gun's an H-H-4-5.
Tech Support: Hey ah, do you know what software version you're runnin'.
Guy: I uh...
Tech Support: Sir?
Guy: Thi this thing runs software?
Tech Support: Okay, you know what? Let's go ahead and restart. I want you to eject the mag, then I want you to press and hold the trigger for sixty seconds that's six zero. Can you do that?
Guy: Sixty seconds? Ah-are are you kidding me uh- I'm in the middle of a firefight.

Here's another one that I found amusing:

Tech Support: Sir, never disparage the readout.

There are quite a few more but I don't want to post them all myself so I'll leave some for the rest of you who have quotes that you want to post.

There's only one rule in this thread: Have fun with it.

And let it roll.

Post edited 6/16/07 3:40PM

ad524604

Bidderman: Holy crap. Is that voice comming from that tree?
Tree: Yes

Tree: You are a holder of the magic
Bidderman: What? But there's no such thing as magic.
Tree: You're talking to a talking tree.
Bidderman: You make a good point, but wait. how.. how can that be?
Tree: Because of your essence.
Bidderman: Essence, isnt that like a shampoo?
Tree: It's a magical force.
Bidderman: No no, I have no essence.
Tree: Yes you do, everybody has essence.
Bidderman: I don't.
Tree: Yes you do, here look.

Bidderman: What the fuck.

ad524604

#3 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Johnson: Do you smell Bacon? Other guy: What just happened to Bidderman? Johnson: Why does it smell like bacon?

AgentWolfman

#4 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Troll 1: Alright, let's do this right. Boss says we can't make any mistakes this time. Troll 2: How come this time? Troll 1: Huh? Troll 2: Well, I mean like he always says that. I mean, at what point is he gonna say "Okay, this time guys you can totally fuck everything up if you want to"? Troll 1: Yeah, sarcasm. That helps.

zman009

#5 Posted 5 years ago	- 1 Lame [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
why do we always "say blast" them why can't we say "elimanate the questioned target"

magicmuffin

Sponsor

#6 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
IMO the best so far; "Hows that for magic dickheads!"

Blue_Team

Doctor Who

#7 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Tech Guy: Ah hm, Tech support how can I help you today? Bidderman: This is that same guy with the funny voice.

Flub

#8 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
LOCKED ?

Mazing

#9 Posted 5 years ago	- 2 Lame [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
In reply to ShadowStylez, #1: Johnson: Bitterman! You're Back! And why do you smeel like bacon.... and this one Bigman (the troll who gets owned): You've been, out Big/Bik/Bing-manned !BLAM! headshot Bigman: nooooooooo...you aaaaaassssshooooooolllleeeess....

snowman16

#10 Posted 5 years ago	- 1 Lame [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
My favorite part was this, Troll 1: Why the hell would he say that? Troll 2: I don't know dude, maybe because some positive reinforcement wouldn't be the end of the god damn world.

ad524604

#11 Posted 5 years ago	+ 1 Cool [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Tech: Still holding down that trigger? Bidderman: Umm, Yes Tech: Ok, about 30 more seconds Bidderman: Jesus, Why does this thing take so long? Tech: Yeah, we designed it that way because uh, we charge by the minute for the tech support Bidderman: . . . Tech: Just kidding sorta

enzo32ferrar

#12 Posted 5 years ago	+ 1 Ditto [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Its "you're talking to a GLOWING tree." and he says it like; You'reTalkingToAGlowingTree

ad524604

#13 Posted 5 years ago	- 1 Noob [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
In reply to enzo32ferrar, #12: Ya you're right. I dont know what i was hearing

b_x2

#14 Posted 5 years ago	+ 0 Lame [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Bitterman: teleports I think that was the last ti-- teleports again AND Beakman gets sniped pause Troll 1: Huh.. Beakman got shot. Troll 2: Wierd. You think he's hurt? Post edited 6/18/07 4:05PM

TWIGLET

#15 Posted 5 years ago	- 1 Lame [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Just before the "Bigman did it again!" part when Bidderman teleports, the look on everyones faces are priceless.

ad524604

#16 Posted 5 years ago	+ 3 Funny [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Bidderman- God damn let it roll? Let what roll? Certainly not my rifle, that's for fricking sure. Son of a mother fucking-

Aces43

#17 Posted 5 years ago	+ 0 Cool [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Human guy: ok johnson, lay down some cover fire POW Johnson: OW! Fuck you, you lay down some cover fire Human guy: Whats the deal Johnson? You think that guy is magical Johnson: I do not Human guy: Yes you do, you think that guy is magical Johnson: I do not, i do not think that guy is magical

stbilly13

#18 Posted 5 years ago	- 1 Lame [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
tech guy "what the read out says is policy" -"what does that even mean???" haha man this new series is awsome

DarkPhoenixx

#19 Posted 5 years ago	+ 1 Funny [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Love the exchange between Bitterman and the Glowing Tree Bitterman: There's no such thing as magic Glowingtree:You're talking to a glowing tree Bitterman: ....you make a good point I can see this becoming as big a quotable as RvB! Great job guys, more plase :D

CombatKarl

#20 Posted 5 years ago	+ 1 Funny [ Reply ] [ Quote ]
My favorite is in the second episode when Bidderman is talking to the tree. Bidderman- What? But there's no such thing as magic. Glowing Tree- You're talking to a glowing tree. Bidderman- You make a good point, but wait......how........how can that be?

MrCrow

#21 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
my fave was the elf guy saying "theres that bacon smell again!!"

I Am IronMan

Eliminate the question target!

Yeah, that's right I'm the one, nobody fucks with me, you've been out-Beakmaned!...

*sniper shot*

Nooooooooo... you asshoooooole...

viciouswolf

#23 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
"You're out magic!"

Talking_Tree

#24 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
"Uh...this thing runs on software?" I thought that was funny as hell :P

RYZ

#25 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
"ok... what smells like bacon now I'm hungry" hisssssterical in my opinion

habakuku

#26 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Troll 1: blast him! troll 2: eliminate the questioned target! troll 1: you're right, blast hims better

Spitfire747

#27 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
"But there's no such thing as magic!" "You're talking to a glowing tree." "You make a good point." "Why does this take so long!?" "Because we charge by the minute for tech support. Just kidding sorta." "Oh, and one other thing, you're on the wrong side." "What?" "Umm, just tell them Frank sent you." "What? Who's Frank?!" "AH-AH-AAAH!" Minions fighting eachother "Uhh.....what the fuck...."

Spitfire747

#28 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
"Don't panic, I brought a Siniah Pill for each of us." Priceless.

ShadowStylez

#29 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Cyanide.

Trackrunner

#30 Posted 5 years ago	[ Reply ] [ Quote ]
Troll 1: "ELIMINATE THE QUESTION MARK" (Blast, blast, blast) Troll 2: "No, you're right. Blast 'im is much better."

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