“The town is ours!” shouted the Don as his minions, both players and NPC’s, proceeded to burn, murder and rape (in that order) anything that moved. “Letâ��™s reap what we’ve sown! Wait, no, that doesn’t sound right. Let’s uh… Let’s rape some stuff!”

A cry went up among the Mafia members at their apparent victory.

“Suddenly, a great, fiery chasm opened up in the middle of the street, and out poured smoke, diabolical laughter and dinosaurs, followed by Jaxom_Rahlâ��™s true form, which was utterly indescribable by words, expect by the word “sexyâ���, but which also made Cthulhu look friendly in comparison.

“HAHAHAHAHA!��€ Boomed Jaxom’s voice as fireballs rained down on the people below, civilian and Mafia alike. “You thought you could kill the Spam God?”

Five minutes and several hundred smitings later, Subversive awoke to his Chief lieutenant shaking him, babbling in a British accent.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying. . . ” said Subversive.

“Look, the writer just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble in town, that’s all. I didn’t expect a sort of Spanish Inquisition. . . ”

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” Three red robed figures burst through door and, after telling Subversive about their two three four various primary weapons, tied him to the rack.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch town. . .

Jaxom laughed as he torched anything that moved, except for the gangs of old ladies, who were beating up defenseless, fit young men.

“Jaxom!��€�� f3licksâ€�� voice appeared, followed by his and SarBni’s forms. They’d made a pact with f3licksâ€�� god, Fluffy, for him to resurrect them in exchange for their stopping Jaxom’s rampage. “Youâ��™ve got to stop this madness!â€��

“Madness?â�� replied Jaxom, kicking Jalnor into a pit. “THIS IS SOVIET RUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!â€��

“Fine then,” said SarB, pulling a portable stereo from his backpack and popping in an Avril Lavigne CD. “I guess we’ll just have to banish you again. . . ”

Suddenly, a rocket propelled squirrel came out of nowhere and impacted the stereo, blowing it to bits. SarBni and f3licks looked to where it had come from, and there stood the other member of the Buddy Club; Firewolf.

Firewolf drew her katana, and Jaxom followed suit. Jaxom’s sword was notably less ornate than that of Firewolf, but it practically radiated whoopass. Seriously, if you looked at it, it would be like your eyes were getting kicked in the balls, and you’d be all like “Holy shit, it feels like my eyes just got kicked in the balls!”

“Holy shit!” said f3licks and SarBni in unison, as they beheld Jaxom’s awesome weapon. “It feels like my eyes just got kicked in the balls!”

F3licks pulled a pink battleaxe from his belt and engaged Jaxom, and SarBni drew his five foot long industrial strength vibrator and rushed Firewolf. The fight was on.

[Insert ending here]