Hi everyone, and welcome to the third edition of the All Things Simmons thread! That's right; we're on our third round. You can read a more comprehensive history of the thread at the Roosterpedia entry!
To keep this thread the wondrous success it has been, the vets of the thread have compiled this list of very simple rules. I would say "please respect them," but then it sounds like a request. It isn't. Follow the rules or suffer the wrath of the ATS.
IF TROLLS/FLAMERS ETC COME INTO THE THREAD: Do not address them. Do not refer to them in your posts. Resume normal conversation without consideration to them. Feel free to waste neg mods on them, but no need to address them. To the "vets" -- similarly, when someone new comes in, give them a chance before you jump all over them. If their behavior turns hostile, see rule number one. Post with maturity and proper spelling/grammar. Be respectful of opinions that do not match your own. Getting off topic is forgivable. But don't purposely start off-topic conversations, and if you find the conversation veering off of the topic of Simmons, try to steer it back to him. After all, that's why we're here. When a topic comes up, do not answer with just "Whatever Sarge wants" or "Whatever Sarge does" as an answer. There's more to Simmons than that, and you know it. Be warned that this topic tends to contain a lot of "mature" talk -- we're talking sexually, here. If you can't handle the severity of the topics, you'd best just turn around now. We also move very quickly, so if you can't keep up... well, sorry, not our fault. If you post in binary or hexadecimal or any similar language, your balls will be removed. If you don't have balls, we'll take one from the stash and tie them around your throat.
The S.I.M.M.O.N.S. stands for "Sycophantic Individuals Making More On-Line Non Sense." It is the official fan club for Simmons sponsored by this, the All Things Simmons (ATS) thread itself. You can find out more information at our Roosterpedia article. If you would like to join, you can apply here. Your acceptance or rejection is based entirely on your answer and your behavior here in the thread. Please be patient while we process all requests to join. Please do not bug us about your application -- we promise we've received it, and we'll get back to you if and when you've been accepted. When you are accepted, you will be presented with an ID card that you can sport in your profile. You may also use the banner above to promote the organization. Members of the S.I.M.M.O.N.S. must actively participate in this thread or suffer the consequences.
If you'd like to learn more about the thread that the Roosterpedia entry did not cover, feel free to check out our website, powered by iJay. You will find a lot of entertainment, including various merchandise created and sponsored by the ATS thread.
Now that we've got the business stuff out of the way, I'll make my exclamatory remarks.
I'll be short and sweet this time, since I expressed all sentiment in the last thread's first post. I love Simmons! Even more so, I love the people here. Mess with them, and you deal with me. And you deal with everyone else. We stick together like.... well, I'll save the Grif/Simmons jokes for later on. I'm still working on my claim to Simmons at FanFic100. Someday I swear I will complete the collection!
If you find the topic to be straying from Simmons, here are some common methods of Simmonsifying conversation:
Simmons Trivia - just like RvB trivia, but with the focus on Simmons. Simmons role-play - like writing a fanfiction about Simmons, one sentence at a time by different users. Simmons mad-libs - just take a Simmons quote, take some of the words out, and ask for replacements. Take the first answer, fill in the blanks, and post the new quote. The person whose words you used is up next. Current-topic redirection - take whatever the current topic is, and make it about Simmons. For example, if you find yourself talking about a video game, pose the question -- would Simmons like this game? It gets you to think about the world through another perspective -- Simmons's perspective. New topic - do I really need to detail this for you?
If you have any questions, you can ask the members who will be posting on this page. They've been here the longest, and they know their stuff.
I have only been a part of the ATS for a short time, but it was the first thread on RoosterTeeth to accept me. I love the community, I love the people in it, and most importantly I love Simmons and his Sexy Cyborg Yardstick.
What can one say in such new beginnings, after breaking the Internet for a second time and after another 1000-odd pages of somewhat dubious double entendres, mad libs, trivia and random chatter we're forced to move on and start afresh once more. Personally speaking I got much more into ATS 2.0 and it's simply speaking a fun place to hang out so long as you are intelligent, can spell and love Simmons. Some great people, fantastic banter and I can't wait to get stuck into the new thread.
You're both an excellent leader and a handsome man, sir!
Wow, at the rate we're posting this is gonna get expensive.
Anyway, 2.0 was fantastic with its fair share of ups and downs and although it's sad to see it go, this thread will no doubt be better than ever. Can't wait to get posting with you guys and maybe welcome some new members.
As love of Simmons grows to include more an more fangrrls, it becomes a necessity to reform a general gathering place for all of his loving followers. Although I wasn't here for the first transition from Simmons to Simmons 2.0, I am glad that I have become a member of the glorious Simmons following. May the glory of Simmons rain down upon all walks of life!
Congratulations! You're another thread closer to death! Why don't you have some SECKSIMMONS and speed up the process?
ATS has maxed out the page limit again!! Not only was it the first thread to do so (As far as I know), but it was also the second to do so. It's on it's third thread before anyone else could even get one full one!
I missed the first ATS (which I regret!) but was there for all but the first 21 posts of ATS 2.0!! Let's hope this thread is as successful, attracts even more awesome people, forges as many friendships (I had to get something that's cringewothy in here) brings as many trends, and...Uh...Creates as many fake international holidays...As the last.
Still though, the most popular creation of ATS has to have been from the first (which I missed) and was just one word! But it so many meanings! ...Some slightly less "Prime-time viewing" than others.. And it survived until this thread. And I'd bet anything on the fact that'll it's still be in use by the fourth thread! And by the fifth, it'll be in national dictionaries. You know what word I'm talking about...
Meh, it's fine with me if people want to waste their neg mods on me, I think it's funny. Besides, why would someone post a Simmons quote in the All Things Simmons thread? I suppose I deserve a -10 Lame for that.
I don't have much to say this time around. I didn't write a long overdrawn speech like I did last time, even though I said it wasn't one to begin with.
A lot's happened since ATS 2.0. A lot of people have changed around here in the past 8 months. For the worst, in my case. I know that, you know that, even the complete n00bs know that. But this place is still a community within a community and for that, we're always gonna be unbreakable...even though I've threatened it many a time.
Yeah, that's more than enough semantics from me for one post. Long live Simmons, long live ATS and long live...whatever else that's kickass around here.
I've been a Simmons fan for over a year now, and I never would have expected us to need a second thread, let alone a third. I'm honored to be the current Social Chairman of the S.I.M.M.O.N.S., and proud to be able to say that I've had a part in creating some of this thread's most beloved traditions. "Secksimmons", "crunchies", "glomps the next poster", and more.
Here's to many more threads in the new version of the site!