So as per the recent discussions in the RT podcast lets find out in a totally scientific manner how many of us have been graced by this phenomena.
Forest Porn can be constituted as pornographic material found in an outside secluded or non urbanized area. Forest Porn only counts if you discover it prior to the age that you are allowed to purchase it in your country/area of domicile.
Before you were old enough to buy porn, did you find Forest Porn?
Yes, I have. I really don't understand it. It's all been torn down now, but there used to be a woods right in front of the park I live in. As kids we'd go play games in there like hide and seek and one day I tripped over a plastic bag of porn! It's bizarre! Would ya not just throw it away?
I did when I was like ten, because I used to hang out in the woods like every day. I honestly never knew it was a phenomenon, I figured I was just one luck son of a bitch Who is ditching all this porn in the woods???
I once found a porno magazine in a hedgerow and later the same day in a seperate area but not too far found porngraphic playing cards and a porno mug (yes a mug that you drink from) and binoculars all hidden under a bit of old worn out MDF by a tree with about 12 holes in it. There was also a bees nest in the tree and what looked like another black nest filled with flies underneath the MDF, this was about 9 maybe 10 years ago so I'd have been about 9 or 10 at this point. At the time we all thought it was pretty gross and found the whole thing all too funny.
Only when it was then mentioned on the podcast did I go "oh yeah I remember that" and only a while later did I put 2 and 2 together and realise the scale of the operation that guy had going. I then got to thinking. Flies don't build nests that I'm aware of. I then remembered a while ago when I went to highschool for my first year there I took a new sort of more mature less power rangers-esque lunchbox and had stored the old one away but had forgotten to remove the contents (because I was stupid). The same year we got infested with flies because the lunchbox was filled with fermenting, rotting fruit which had been attracting flies, I opened the box to see the contents which were now completely black and the entire thing smelled like alcohol.
I'm going to go ahead and take a guess that what we found that day was as follows: some light reading in the hedgerow when hiding from passers-by, porno-playing cards to whittle away the boredom whilst the sun was up. A mug to drink out of? (I fucking hope it was for drinking what was just poured from the flask and not intended for... er.. 'collecting') and a set of binoc's to use when you've scaled the footholes you've carved into the fucking tree to spy on someone. But what was the black fly nest? I'll take "Hollowed-out Watermelon" for $500, Alex.
It may also just have been a supply cache for the dogger down his luck and thrown out by his wife. I'll never get to, or want to, find out.
Welcome to Scotland. On your left you will see The Castles of Dunvegan, Stirling, Inverness, The Wallace Monument and the beautiful island of Eilean Donan. To your right you will see Castle's of Edinburgh, Glamis and a man wanking into a jizz sock with todays Daily Sport pages 2, 5, 27 and 45-58 sprawled out in front and long distance binoculars taped to his head known locally as Sgt Rampant Lee Tuggin.