"Barbara was trying to write a bio here, and I was walking by, on my way to the bathroom and saw her trying to type this...now she is watching me type this... and I've become really self aware. She is judging how I type. Don't you hate that. Anyway, I have to go to the bathroom now...so. You know."
What Joel lacks in double D-cup breasts, he makes up for in personality. Frequently confused with the characters he plays, he has come to respond to "Caboose" in addition to his given name, which has lead many who aren't familiar with Red vs. Blue to believe that he moonlights as a train car. However, Mr. Heyman never has and never will be associated with any locomotive, as he finds them unclean and unruly. Joel is really good at money.
Legend had it that the humble group that became Rooster Teeth were besieged by forces of work and family life until the wise sage came from the west. He brought forth fun and laughter but of all he gave them was the wisest of secrets he told only a few devoted followers:
I'm ok with it.In reply to Joel, #12:I'm ok with it.In reply to Joel, #12:
You should also mention you have a lovely alto singing voice.
Speaking of it, Joel...you've devoted TEN years...a whole decade (or as Gus would say in two decades) to playing video games and cursing on the internet. Children who were born the year you started are now learning long division and about the French Revolution. Did you ever think you'd be doing something like this when you first started?
Joel Heyman, once known as the most attractive of the main cast of Red Vs Blue (now known as "That guy who's not a chick and likes investing"), has played the popular role of Caboose for the past 10 years, and will continue to do so, assuming he isn't murdered by Gus for his behavior during podcast recording. A man of many talents, he has achieved many - NO CINNAMON NO! OH GOD WHY IS THI-
'Joel Heyman... Olympian, Titan of Industry, Michael J. Caboose. Born into a world unprepared for his greatness, he did what only he could: tackle the world of online entertainment and rule over it with an iron fist. Also, make a living manipulating the stock market for his own amusement using an army of drones cultivated from years of hilarious podcast appearances.'
Lover of the cute and cuddly Cinnamon... "Cinnamon NOOOOOO!!!" or include your own quote "Tell the world...Cinnamon! No! Back! Bad Cinnamon! Bad! No..! Arrrrrrbleghhhh." Joel: the true mastermind behind RvB and AH.com
"I can't believe I'm still alive! Oh well, guess I'll wait out the rest of existence by saying that the past ten years have been some the best years of my life thanks to not only my friends but also my legion of fans who will murder in my name without question. I remember this one time when Burnie asked me to [story retracted]...you know what I don't want to talk about it. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is Jack smells; Joel #1."
Joel Heyman, YOUNG! Voice actor for the one and only Caboose. Unliked by most bears, Cinnamon no! Will dress up as anyone, such as Hitler, for money! Banger of tables. Thinks police stations are speed traps. you go Joel!