I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

    • So... that was interesting.

      6 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      You didn't have to buy me chocolates too, I'm a cheap date. You had me at condom.

    • Matt's Contest

      6 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=...

      Matt wants to know who looks cooler, him or Gundam Guy (I'm assuming that's his name, if it isn't then he should change it immediately). While my immediate reaction would be to choose Gundam guy for about 37 reasons. Examples would be attractiveness, style, facial hair, normal hair, shoes, and ability to tie a tie correctly.

      But upon further inspection by a team of scientists they have come to the opposite conclusion*. It is now the official opinion of this group and of the whole world that Matt looks much cooler. So everyone go vote for him in his own journal. I guess he gets like money if he wins or something. I don't know, but just go rock the vote. I'm pretty sure he needs it to buy like toothpaste and bath soaps and other body products to keep his "good" looking streak going.

      *Investigation into whether or not the scientists were given gift baskets full of cash by Matt to influence their decisions is still ongoing.

    • Thanks!

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      You guys are awesome. Thanks for the birthday wishes and presents. My birthday was way better than Joel's, which is how it should be.

    • Drunk tank? More like the Mattcast!

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      Cause he brings the awesome. And not just normal awesome, but like super-awesome awesomeness. LISTEN AND BE AMAZED! And people never thought spamming Gus got things done. This is a big step in my secret master plan. The next step is to either have Matt do an Achievement Hunter video or to kill Burnie and replace him with a Matt clone. Gus, prepare for the spam.

    • Matt's singing

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      In episode 3 of reach mini series. Matt singing. So awesome! Need digital copy so I can listen to it all day. I have to go change my pants for totally unrelated and totally NOT creepy reasons.



      Okay my reasons are a little creepy. Just a little.

    • Matt's back is back

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      Technically he never left or stopped doing what he does best (being the squash of my ear, the gourd of my sweat glands). I guess I just felt like I never really saw his round, scruffy face in a long while. How I've missed it so. Until I finally was reunited with said face in a short short whereupon he ran around with a screwdriver in his head (which is exactly like this weird dream I had once). Anyway, short story made considerable longer, I'm hoping that Matt will be showing up more in future shorts and maybe even Drunk Tanks. Actually, since I know he's gonna be in like all the shorts what I really want is for him to be in some more Drunk Tanks. I might even start an online petition or maybe just spam Burnie's and Gus's profiles a lot. I should probably get started on that now. Glory to the Matt team!

    • New RT short

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      It came with great jubilation in the world of Rooster teeth a couple days ago when Matt released a new RT short. You may have watched the short and thought, why wasn't Matt in that short. The reason is simple. Matt wants to give the other staff members a chance to actually do something for once.

      Matt already spends most of his time with RvB. He has to film all the scenes, edit all the shots, and voice every single character except for that one guy Gavin voiced in that one episode. Matt don't do no British accent. To make the other, mostly useless staff members feel wanted Matt created RT shorts and achievement hunter videos. Matt still shoots and edits (and plays in the case of the achievement videos) everything, but at least other people get to use their own voices. But wait, you may ask. Don't the other staff members get a chance to talk on the podcast? Answer- no, they do not. RT could only afford one microphone (the rest was spent on authentic black tar heroin), so Matt just sits in a chair an does his impersonations of the other guys. Matt also pays the other staff members taxes and writes all their checks. How can Matt do this? The answer is so awesome it can only be one word separated from this paragraph by several random spaces.


      Awsomesauce

      Yes, awsomesauce. When Matt was a child, he was so awesome that he was literally to awesome. At least, too awesome for a feeble human body. He needed his mind to be transfered into a superior robotic body. But alas, it was not to be. The body was purchased by Fox and used for Jack Bauer. So Matt had to be rushed to the hospital and have an emergency procedure. Somehow this ended up with his blood being replaced to awesomesauce. Unfortunately the side affect was his water allergy, because of reverse protons in his gaul bladder...or something. Yeah.

      So anyway, that's the story of why Matt is the true and only genius behind RT. And why he does all the work. Now I'll leave you with Matt's modest words.

      "It's been a while since we had a new RT Short, so I decided to correct that."

    • So, Matt's going to RVBTO

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      Or at least that's the word on the site. Or maybe that was just my wishful thinking getting the best of me. So Matt may or may not be at RVBTO. Assuming he is, that would be awesome. Cause, as we all know, Matt is the best staff member. He's also the funniest staff member and the 14th best looking (he would be higher but Pongo is so g-darn adorable).

      I'm hoping that most (all) of you feel the burning need to attend RVBTO, if only to show Matt teh luvz. Oh and just a quick side note, most Canadians don't lock their doors. And that probably extends to Canadian hotels (much like the one where Matt could possibly be staying at).

      So that's all for today, as always, Matt = Less than Three

    • Matt's on the podcast (Matt's allergies)

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      So, I don't know if anyone here listened to the podcast, but I was listening to it today and Burnie mentioned some interesting things about Matt. First, he confirmed what we all knew. The fact that Matt never really showers. That didn't come as a shock to anyone, but the next part kinda did.

      Apparently, Matt has some kinda weird medical problem where Matt is apparently allergic to chlorine/water. Whats that, you never heard of that condition before? Yeah, that's because it's apparently extremely rare or something. So Matt turns red when he touches water (so that's why they cast him as the leader of the red team!). This may have crippled the life of some of the more clean people on the RT staff (Like Joel, I mean that guy probably goes through a bar of soap everyday). This condition may have affected Matt's life, but it has turned him into the lovable, fish-scented man we know and love. And for that I thank this allergy. And Matt, I also thank you for being a truly awesome, nay, orgasmicly-awesome dude.

      P.S. I also made Matt an admin in case he wants to like post anything (for example - his daily lunch schedule and travel plans for the next six months)

      P.P.S. If I overcome my crippling laziness I'll have something extra Matterific for everyone on the weekend.

      P.P.P.S. Matt's allergic to water, Gus is allergic to grass, and Burnie's allergic to healthy things. Almost seems like too much of a coincidence...

    • Matt on AHWU

      8 years ago

      I would totally F*ck.... Matt?

      I feel it is my duty to inform you that Matt, our one true dude, was on Achievement Hunter Weekly Update today. He doesn't speak, or even really look at the camera, but his presence graces the video nonetheless.

      In case you don't want to have to watch the non-Matt portion of the video (it's just a bunch of filler about video games) then you can just skip to the Matterific section. It starts at 2:57 and ends at 3:00. And just when you think Matt's gone he appears back for about half a second at about 3:15 (look for the red plaid in the right side of the screen).

      Now, I don't know what you guys think, but to me it seems like about time Matt got some more camera time. Except for the recent episode of Red vs Blue, Matt hasn't been in really anything for a long while. Not even the podcast. Oh how I miss his voice, his sweet, crackly voice...

      For some reason they put Jack on the podcast, even though everyone knows that Matt is twice as knowledgeable, three times as funny, and six times as smelly. The only thing that Matt can't do is be a punching bag for Gus, but that could be solved with a simple Gav-shaped punching bag. Oh well, I'm sure that he'll be in the new season of RT shorts a lot, so that'll be nice.

      Yeah, so anyway this is kinda getting ramble-y. I really just felt the need to make an update. Oh yeah, while I'm typing about updates, I might as well segway into telling you about my stalker-esque plans for this. I'm a gonna try to update this Matt group at least once a week. I'm either gonna talk about what Matt was doing or what Matt could be doing, or if it has been a Matt-lite week I'll try to make something creative like a poem or song or a piece of artwork or something like that. Because as we all know the true measure of someones awesomeness is how creepy their fans are. And I pledge to be Matt's creepiest fan, nay, the creepiest fan the world has ever known! Of course since I'm also extremely lazy I'm gonna have to be creepy from the comfort of my own home.

      Goodbye for now fellow Matt-lovers. And goodbye for now Matt. You sweet, dandruff plagued, unhygienic prince.

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