Gather Round, Kids
It's story time.
Through some sheer luck or black magic, I've had the house to myself this week during the days. Normally this would be great but I think you can tell by my activity here on RT that I'm basically nocturnal. I'll get up in the afternoon to let dear old Scooter outside to do his business.
Lemme tell you something about Scooter: I love this dog. Him and I have a pretty similar sleep schedule. Both passed out in the mornings, both up all night. We've been this way for quite a few years in our old age. So it's around the time I've been around the house to refill his water and give him some fresh food that he's waking up and ready to do business. Our back door to the house is one of those sliding glass doors that birds like to run into, and he has a leash out there because otherwise he'll take off like a meth'd up jackrabbit.
So naturally, having the house to myself, why get dressed? I hook Scooter to his leash while I'm wearing one of my many Foo Fighters shirts,,(one for every day of the week) my boxers, and my white crew cut socks(the perfect balance of comfort and warmth.) I pour myself a drink an hear Scooter's barking at nothing. He does this a lot, I think because he's pretty deaf. He usually responds to claps though. Usually.
This was not one of those times. Apparently he spotted something with his good eye. Scooter's 15 years old by the way. Mostly deaf, pretty fucking blind in one eye, born last in his litter, but by god if he hasn't outlived them all. Scooter's the happiest tough literal son of a bitch you'll ever come across. The neighbors also have a dog, her name is Mabel. Sometimes they bark at each other, but they take turns. I like to think they're an item.
Apparently he spotted something with his good eye. Maybe a person on a bicycle, maybe a little bunny looking for some food. Whatever it was, I was going to have to pull him back from it. I gave a quic...