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JDVang
26 year-old male from Saint Paul, MN
Watch me, I may just post naked pictures.
If you don't watch me, I'll post naked pictures of myself.
I accept ALL random friend requests. Because SOMEONE has to.
Yes I will vote for you, but bribery may light a fire under my ass to get to it.
Yes I will mod you, I give these goddamn things out like candy.
Latest Post
JDVang
HA-HA! France sucks!Found some funny stuff about France, enjoy!

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.
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Q: Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes?
A: In France.
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Q: Why do zee French have zee onion and zee Arabs has zee oil?
A: Because zee French had zee first pick.
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Q: How do you brainwash a Frenchman?
A: Fill up his boots with water.
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A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains for dinner. She saw that American and British brains were $4.95 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. She gasped and asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint.
"No ma'm," answered the butcher. "That is the correct price." "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" exclaimed the cannibal. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains?" replied the butcher.
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Q: How many generations does it take to learn ingratitude?
A: Trois
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Q: Is it rude to call a Frenchman a frog?
A: Yes, it is unfair to amphibians.
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Q: Why did the French start using garlic?
A: To improve their breath.
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Q: How are French babies born?
A: With their hands up (surrendering).

Q: Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
A: He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French.
Conan O'Brien
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Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been done.
Jay Leno
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Q: Why do the French call their fighter the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone.
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Q: How do you kill a Frenchman?
A: Slam the toilet seat down when he's getting a drink.
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Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert?
A: Mirage
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The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
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The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemeies.
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Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.
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Q: Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets?
A: So you can see their white flags better.
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Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion.
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The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking.
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Donald Rumsfeld was being heckled by a French anti-war weenie when he suddenly turned and asked the Frenchman:
"Excuse me. Do you speak German?" The Frenchman replied "No." Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome."
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Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers.
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Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back?
A: Jacques Chirac
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Q: What is the other way to spell the name of the French president?
A: Jacques ChIraq.
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A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
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Q: Why is it good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.
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Q: What is the French battle flag?
A: It is three white fleur-de-lies on a white background.
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Q: Why do Frenchmen always wear yellow ties?
A: To match their teeth.
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Q: What's the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman's soap.
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A: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand?
Q: More sand.
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Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered?
A: Table for one hundred thousand, sir?
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Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your back yard?
A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant.
7 years ago  |  Comments (4)
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The Goods
Name Jacob
Occupation kollej stoodent
Birthday December 20th, 1987
Interests Interests include passing Calculus so I can use it to find Batman9;s true identity world and US history reading writing gaming and sleep (although not always in that order.)
Gamertag
JDVANG'S...
Music Like everyone else "I like all kinds of music." Except Rascal Flats I fucking hate Rascal Flats.
Movies James Bond and Kevin Smith films and Romero's Night of the Living Dead series Serenity The Godfather (part 1 of course) Hotel Rwanda Jesus Christ Superstar Team America Pulp Fiction and Resevoir Dogs V For Vendetta anything blessed with Bruckheimer's Midas touch.
TV Shows The Drew Carey Show/Whose Line 24 (THE best damn television show EVER) The Daily Show and Colbert Report anything on [adult swim] especially Futurama Family Guy Bleach and Trinity Blood CSI: Miami (cuz Horatio Caine is a badass) Firefly
Books 1984 Fahrenheit 451 Angels and Demons (better than The DaVinci Code goddammit) Real Ultimate Power Zombie Survival Guide The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and anything by Vince Flynn the great Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (he wrote Sherlock Holmes btw) and Dr. Seuss I read alot and it makes me sad.