||Rest in PeaceTo The Rooster Teeth Community - |
I'm sorry to have been away from this community so long and come back only to bad news.
I'm gutted. Not nearly as gutted as those who knew him personally. I know what it's like to lose someone close to you, suddenly. And there is nothing that I can say that will make everything better - not that any of those will see this of course. But should they stumble across my little area over here, should any of you reading this be struck with the sudden loss of a loved one, then I can only offer you this:
They say time heals all wounds, and that's a lie. You will never get over this. In fact, for the next year or so, you'll be looking over your shoulder, expecting him to be there, and be struck with that death all over again. You will cry until your eyes hurt, and you pass out, only to wake up thinking they're right there, and cry again. Everything will seem fine, and suddenly you'll realize, for no reason, that they're gone, forever.
You'll handle your own thoughts about death as best you can, rationalize it, come to grips with whether there is or isn't an afterlife, and then doubt your ideas time after time.
It's going to suck. And you're never going to stop missing them
But somewhere, down the road. It will stop hurting. There will be a scar, and that's forever. You'll never forget them, and you'll always feel cheated that they missed out on this. But you won't feel sad. You'll tell a story about them, and it makes you laugh, or smile, and in a way they are still alive in that moment, and it doesn't hurt, and the memories don't hurt, and it's ok.
Somewhere down the line, and it will vary for everyone, you'll be ok again.
For now though. Mourn. Don't let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong, because there's no one way to mourn. The stages are a lie, because they don't happen neatly. They come when they want to, and sometimes all at once, and sometimes acceptance isn't the end, but that's all ok.
But for his wife, and his family who lost someone way too early. Please remember that you will need to move on at some point. Please don't get trapped in your misery. It seems harsh. But it's understandable. Please remember that at some point you have to say goodbye to all those things you were holding on to.
Because what we're really mourning is that this wonderful human being will not get to experience more life. The memories, however, don't change. They will always a warm and wonderful part of you. That are excruciating to bear sometimes, but a wonderful burden because that person is yours in your heart forever.
There's a quote. A quote I love. It's from East of Eden. And sometimes when I am so missing my dad that it hurts, I think about it, and that fiery sharp bit of me that is irrational and could lash out at anything is soothed for a moment at least. It says: "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world."
Monty's death has brought no joy to the world, and so we can soothe ourselves at least knowing that he was intensely loved by so many people. He shone brightly. And we miss him, but his life is something to be celebrated.
With all my love,