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7 years ago (12/14/04)
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Last signed in:
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1 year ago
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3d 3h 28m
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26 year-old male from Woodbury, NJ
Words to Live by:
Free your mind. - Morpheus
"Isms", in my opinion, aren't good. - Ferris Bueller
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Johnson
I don't tip. - Mr. Pink
Women are like Voltron, the more you can hook up the better it gets. - Tucker
I am the ow in now. - Homer Simpson
It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack, not rationality. - The Bride, Black Mamba, (Beep)
The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime. - Pink Floyd
The Dude abides. - The Dude
There's only one person in this whole world like you, and that's you. - Mr. Rogers | Latest Post | |
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Happy V.D.: (Anyone done this yet?)
Are you lonely and have the urge to make other people just as lonely as you are? If you are, you've probably gotten the idea to grab a .357 Magnum Colt Python and a few boxes of ammo and hunt down some happy couples. Slow down Dirty Harry, you've got it all wrong, why kill the happy couples when they could be broken up using this sure fire method. Go out and find a happy couple at a bar, get the guy away from the girl using 1-4 of your friends, nothing violent just a distraction. Example: Guy goes into rest room to sit upon the throne, his pants and underwear are ripped off of him by a pair of "Mystery Hands", and then you jam the stall door shut using... I don't know, something. Mean while, the most attractive of this group of friends hits on the girl at the bar, buys her a few drinks, claims seeing a man fitting the description of her boyfriend flirting with a random girl with big knockers, and takes her back to her boyfriend's place using the car the couple came in together. A different guy from the one who stole the pants returns them to the dude in the stall, saying that he chased down the guy that stole them and beat the mortal shit out of him. This establishes a trust between the two and the returner of the pants must distract the b/f even longer by offering to drive him home and getting unbelievably lost. The guy who's with the girl places a call to the friend driving, right before he's going to do the deed with her. This will be the signal to get unlost and get the guy home, just in time to see the attractive friend blow a load right in the girl's face and take a picture of her creamed visage. WARNING!: this comment may contain graphic content and shoud not be viewed by anyone under 18 mother fucker. The friend then snaps a quick pic of the b/f, blinding him, and allowing the friend extra time to grab his clothes he carefully placed by the bedroom door and run out of that place into the waiting car of the driver friend. The couple breaks up very messily, as the guy starts yelling and throwing shit, and the tears from the girls crying eyes mix with the hot load of nut butter still on her face, very messily indeed. True, this is way more involved than just killing the happy couple, but it's way more satisfying, especially for that one particular member of the group. Anyway, Happy V.D. everybody.
P.S. I'd like to thank bp13iggy for inspiring me to dwell on this subject and write about it. Peace and sex dudes, peace and sex.
P.P.S. Yes I posted this last year, but I still believe this is an accurate depiction of the insecurities festering beneath the surface of a "healthy" relationship. I hope my advice is not going to waste and that some brave souls have tried or will try to put this plan into action.
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| Awards | | | | The Goods | | | Name |
Stephen | | Occupation |
College student. | | Birthday |
May 1st, 1986 | | Interests |
Acting writing directing TV theater film video games computer games illegal activities. | | JOURNEYMAN'S... | | | Music |
Pink Floyd The Beatles Led Zeppelin The Who The Ramones The Clash AC/DC Black Sabbath Ozzy Osbourne Megadeath Iron Maiden Pantera Metallica Iced Earth Subject to Ignite Nitroba. | | Movies |
Reservoir Dogs Pulp Fiction Four Rooms Jackie Brown Kill Bill Vol.1 Kill Bill Vol.2 about anything with Robin Williams The Wall Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas The Dark Crystal Ferris Bueller's Day Off LOTR Star Wars Clerks Mallrats Chasing Amy Dogma Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Tron all Matrix Time Bandits The Adventures of Baron Munchausen Gormenghast Buckaroo Bonzai all Back to the Future M*A*S*H all Monty Python This is Spinal Tap The Big Lebowski Army of Darkness The Good the Bad and the Ugly. | | TV Shows |
All CSI Lost House Angel Mythbsters Dr. Who Monty Python's Flying Circus The Simpsons Family Guy Daria Red Dwarf Blackadder and Charmed. |
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