I never post on here. Like ever. But I keep it around because I know it's the one place where my girlfriend won't be able to see what I post. Not unless she does some serious internet sleuthing. So I'm sitting here, trying to motivate myself to do the homework I have due in the next few days, but I just can't because I miss her too fucking much.

Some backstory. The woman I started dating almost two years ago has moved herself out to Los Angeles for a change of life. She got herself a job at Universal Studios, and she's living with friends. I'm super happy for her. I haven't been able to see her outside of Skype/Facetime since August, when she dropped me off a...

I never post on here. Like ever. But I keep it around because I know it's the one place where my girlfriend won't be able to see what I post. Not unless she does some serious internet sleuthing. So I'm sitting here, trying to motivate myself to do the homework I have due in the next few days, but I just can't because I miss her too fucking much.

Some backstory. The woman I started dating almost two years ago has moved herself out to Los Angeles for a change of life. She got herself a job at Universal Studios, and she's living with friends. I'm super happy for her. I haven't been able to see her outside of Skype/Facetime since August, when she dropped me off at the train that took me back to my hometown.

Every day I ask myself whether or not this is worth it. Is it worth always missing her, having to deal with the fact that I got to be with her for as often as I wanted for a year and then suddenly having a gaping hole in my life where she was? I was apprehensive at doing long distance in the first place, but I promised her that I would give it a shot. Every day is a struggle. Thinking about her makes me depressed, thinking about other things doesn't help. Some days I feel like I'm not strong enough for long distance, I feel like ending this relationship and moving on would be the better option. At first it was fueled mostly by the fact that I haven't had sex for a while, but as it continues, it's been fueled more and more by the fact that I miss the companionship I had. I want someone to hold, to cuddle, to kiss, to fuck, etc. The fact that I'm having to come to grips with the fact that I need a relationship more than I thought I did is hard, and adding the fact that I'm in one but I'm living as though I'm not is just compounding it.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this. And it sucks.