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| Signed up: |
1 year ago (9/25/11)
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Last signed in:
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7 months ago
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"Dad, do we have crackers?"Dad: "Yeah, I bought some fancy ones. They're terrible."
Me: "Why did you buy them, then?"
Dad: "They were expensive, so I thought they'd be good. They taste like sand."
Me: "Well, why didn't you just buy the crackers we normally get?"
Dad: "Because we ran out of those."
Me: "..."
Dad: "..."
Me: "What?"
Dad: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Me: "What?."
Dad: "I just remembered I ate those crackers. So no, we don't have any."
Me: "..."
Dad: "Goodnight." [Exit stage left]
...the fuck just happened?
EDIT: There were crackers on the table next to the couch my dad's sleeping on. Like, a full package of them. Completely unopened.
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Talkin' 'bout my generation.I just had to sprint two stories to pick up the only working phone in the house. I also just found out that my sister had that phone literally 6 inches from where she was sitting in the office, browsing Facebook. Apparently, she refused to pick it up because she "didn't know the number."
It was our grandma.
My sister literally just sat there, letting the phone ring, while I ran around trying to pin down where the hell the phone was. All because she, AND I QUOTE, "Was raised never to pick up a phone if she didn't know the number. That's just common sense."
SHE WAS ALIVE BEFORE CALLER ID EXISTED. Not only that, but she DOESN'T KNOW OUR GRANDMA'S NUMBER. I mean, we're only 2 1/2 years apart, but I feel like there's a generational gap a mile long between us. How in the hell do you think it's okay to just sit there and not pick up a phone that's ringing? It's as easy as saying, "Who's this?" and either taking a message, telling them to call back, or hanging up.
But no. Facebook is important. Facebook is most important. Especially when you have 500 friends and only know 50 of them personally. I'm irrationally upset about this.
I mean, I just can't... I can't even.
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Woah, woah, woah, what the fuck? I was fine with the notifications, the weird watchlist updates, the new look, and the somewhat random jumbling together of updates/news.
But fucking status updates? I'm not going to say I'm upset, but I'm going to say I'm upset. The main complaint with the new site is that it's TOO MUCH LIKE FACEBOOK. Apparently, the response to that complaint was to MAKE IT MORE LIKE FACEBOOK.
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GAH. GAH. GAH. GAH. GAH.Why is the site so sleek and modern looking?!
GAH. GAH. GAH. GAH.*
*I don't know how to scream on the internet.
UPDATE: So, the site just crashed about a dozen times in six seconds, which I guess is a two times faster crashing rate than ever before. Does that count as an improvement? Honestly, though, bring back my ability to at least separate what watched items I have and haven't seen, and I've got very little to complain about. The notifications system is a fairly good idea to me, and I like the @ capability. Just make sure to leave my silly internet pictures untouched.
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I'm being watchedApparently, there are at least 10 people watching me. To those select few, I have a message:
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom entertainment, I can tell you I don't have money many good jokes. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career time on the internet. Skills that make me a nightmare seem very lonely to people like you. If you let my daughter niece go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill thank you for taking an interest in me.
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Patriots.Going to Super Bowl XLVI. Sunday. February 5. 2012.
Somebody owes me money.
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