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Stonesword
Bill Gates' Harvard speech (Beta)from SHARK TALES from Computer World Canada - June 22,2007

"Bill Gate's, who dropped out of Harvard in his junior year before
co-founding Microsoft Corp. and going on to become the world's richest
person, stopped off at his former stomping grounds to collect an honorary law degree."- REUTERS

Bill Gates' Harvard speech (Beta)

Honoured graduates, esteemed faculty, admired colleagues,
jealous rivals, boys and girls:

First of all, I could buy and sell every one of you. But let me talk
about some things you might not already know.

People think I'm a bit late graduating from Harvard, but if there's
one thing working in the computer industry has taught me, it's that
you don't get docked for lateness. We've been late with Windows.
We were late to the Internet. But we've also been the last to admit we
weren't the first to launch something. And that's what makes all the
difference, kids.

Is accepting this honorary degree a way for me to thumb my nose at the
many people who have worked much harder to achieve a legitimate degree
from Harvard University? Of course it is. But it's also a chance for
me to share some of my wisdom for future generations, given that next
to nobody has bothered to read any of the books that I had ghost-written for me.

To all the geeks out there, I'd just like to say it doesn't matter
what you look like on the outside. It doesn't really matter what you
look like on the inside, either. What matters is finding a fat,
overbearing friend who can beat up the people who pick on you. That
will take you a long way, no matter which path you choose.

If you come up with a good idea, don't just act on it. Patent it. Then
take on the other people who have already tried to act on it.

On a related note, make friends with lawyers. You never know how many
you're going to need.

Don't make promises you can't deliver. And if you do make such
promises, tell your critics it's not your fault; you're just the chief
software architect.

Talking paperclips make for strange mascots. You heard it here first.

If a product manger screws up a product demo during your keynote
presentation, don't get embarrassed or angry. You only have to let
people screw up once.

Do one thing every day that scares you. If you're really scared, pay
someone else to do it for you.

Be cool. Stay in school.
But always remember that being cool only gets you so far.
After all, you don't see Steve Jobs getting no Harvard degree.
1 week ago  |  Comments (0)
Stonesword
A Man of Logic(not my story )

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the
shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window
and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic,
and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper
is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or
unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons
and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a
lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered
suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.
1 month ago  |  Comments (0)
Stonesword
Wrestling dropped from OlympicsTrue story

I'm not much of a sports fan, I would rather play a sport than watch it. So I don't usually see any of the Olympics.

But I read that they were dropping wrestling from the Olympics.

It was on the radio again as the alarm went off this morning.

My wife said,
"Wrestling is a real sport, if they were going to drop something,..."

Then we both said together,

"Drop synchronized swimming!!!"
3 months ago  |  Comments (3)
Stonesword
I touch 2So, my wife tried to load a new app on her I touch and it said it required an upgrade to run it.

After the upgrade I tunes said "this app is not authorized on this computer" and deleted about 20 apps.

Going to an older version of i tunes didn't fix it.

I tunes support (I thought it was Apple tech support) said try de-authorizing and re-authorizing, which didn't help.

Then they said try Apple Tech Support.

I said, "I'm not paying $35 to to fix a problem that your poorly written software caused"

Today I found out it won't even play music anymore.
3 months ago  |  Comments (1)
Stonesword
Images 2YAY!

Upload images is working!
3 months ago  |  Comments (0)
Stonesword
ImagesIt's been a while since image uploading was broken.
3 months ago  |  Comments (0)
Stonesword
I hear there is a new Sim City coming out.

It reminded me of this conversation I had with my brother around 2000.

I was around for the first Sim City, and I remember when my brother asked me if I was getting Sim City 2000.

I said, "Sim City is for people that like to open the back of a watch to see all the parts move"

My brother said, "so?"

I said, "Sim City 2000 is for people that like to do the same with digital watches"

:-)
3 months ago  |  Comments (1)
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