Operation weight lossI've lost 14 or 15lbs since last Sunday. By the end of tomorrow it will be 15lbs. That's 15lbs in 12 days. I now fit in to my suit's pants again. Current weight: roughly 187lbs. It feels good reaching a goal like that through nothing but dedication and hard work. Current goal: over the next 2 months, shed my remaining fat and replace it with an equal weight in muscle so I look like that dude from that movie... you know the one.
Those of you looking for workout inspiration, the next How To Not Suck article is for you. Then it ties in with boring things like work and real life. Look for it Monday!
My abdominal workoutAltGrendel asked me what my abs circuit is in the comments for my last journal, so here it is. I'll give the name, then how many I do, then the rules for each exercise.
1. Crunches - 150-250 depending how I'm feeling - Hands behind the head, elbows out to the side, chin up, shoulders are not allowed to touch the ground, lower back not allowed to leave the ground, done as quickly as possible
2. Situps - 20 - Basically the same as crunches, but they're situps so the lower back can leave the ground
3. Bicycles - 100-150 depending how I'm feeling - Hands behind the head, rapidly bring knees up to touch opposing shoulders, as quickly as possible
4. Murder - up to 20 depending how long I last - Hands behind the head, feet hovering about 6 inches above the ground. Slowly bring one knee in to the opposing elbow, keeping the other foot where it is, and hold it there for a second, then return it to its starting postiion. That's one rep. The other leg is a second rep.
5. Leg raises - up to 30 depending how long I last - Hands under or near the butt (somewhere comfy in that general area) for balance, legs must go vertical, feet may not touch the ground.
6. Side crunches - 50/side - Lie on your side, bend your quads up at 90 degrees, bend your calfs down at 90 degrees, hands behind your head, elbows as close together as they can be. Raise yourself straight up as if your shoulder is being pulled toward your hip. Keep the elbows tight, and be careful not to push off from the ground.
And that's what I do at the end of every workout. Except last night's workout: I just did 500 crunches instead.
1. Shoulder Assassin! - Yes, the ! is part of the name. This is my own invention, and I didn't name it until I'd done it. You start standing with a dumbbell in each hand holding them down in front of you with your palms turned down. With straight arms for the entire exercise, you raise the weights to shoulder level in front of you, then rotate your hands so your palms face each other, then rotate your arms out so they're in line with your chest and sticking out to the side, then rotate you hands so your palms face up, then raise them up so the weights meet over your head, then rotate your hands so your palms face backward, and slowly lower the weights back down in front of you, then rotate your hands back to the start position. That's one rep. It's the raising overhead that does you in, and your shoulders are dead when you finish, hence the name. I can only do 4 of these at 15lbs/hand.
2. Man Maker - I got this from Gym Jones, the guys who trained the actors and stuntmen for the movie 300. You start holding two dumbbells overhead, then drop down and do a pushup using them as handles. Then you do a row with each arm, which is to say you raise the weight keeping your elbow tight to your body and then replace it. Then you snap your feet up outside the dumbbells, stand up raising them to your shoulders, and push them back in the air. Here is a graphical description. I did these last night and underestimated them, and my chest gave out after 7 because I did pushups first and the muscles were more tired than I thought they would be. I was aiming for 30. Nonetheless, when I had to stop everything from the hips up was dead, and I had to bring my workout to a close. Next time I do them first, not last.
So there you have it, two really effective upper body exercises that are not for the faint of heart.
On to other stuff, some people have been astounded at my rapid weight loss. In the last 8 days I've lost over 10lbs and over 1.5 inches from around my middle, and I will lose five more pounds by this weekend, at which time my weight loss period will be concluded. My secret? Disciplined diet and hard work.
My body needs about 3000 calories each day to carry on its normal routine, plus whatever amount of calories I spend working out. My diet consists of five small meals spaced at about 3 hour intervals throughout the day, for a total of about 1500 calories, while keeping up the protein intake to preserve my muscle.
While I'm doing this, I'm also working out to exhaustion every day between my fourth and fifth meals. I stretch for about 15 minutes, jump for 5 to get the blood going, do my lifting exercises until I'm pouring sweat, then do my abs circuit, and then more jumping as a cool-down.
The way this works is by forcing my body to turn to fat stores for my daily energy. I'm only taking in about half what my body needs, after all. Normally this kind of diet would lead to weight gain as the body enters starvation mode, which is why the meals are small and constant. Food constantly entering the mouth ensures the body doesn't panic. So my body is inclined to use up fat while I actually continue to build muscle, which leads to rapid weight loss.
After Saturday I get to move back to a normal eating schedule, but I'm going to keep my caloric intake restricted to what I need to get around, while continuing to work out hard four days a week. My body will then continue to cannibalize fat for energy in order to build more muscle.
There's nothing magical in what I'm doing, it just takes dedication and about an hour and a half each day to work out. The key here is that I'm putting in a superior effort, and thus I'm earning a superior result. You can do it too if you want to. The only question is: are you up to the challenge?
How to get things doneThis past Sunday I changed two things: my eating habits and my workout habits. I'm now eating five small meals spaced throughout the day instead of three large ones, and I'm working out full-bore seven days a week. If I'm not dripping sweat all over the place, I'm not done working out yet.
The result? In the past five days I've lost 7lbs. I'm not doing anything magical, I'm just demonstrating self-discipline in order to get things done. I'm consuming about half the calories my body needs on a daily basis, but because food is constantly going in my mouth my body doesn't enter starvation mode. The intense workouts force my body to sweat (instant water-weight loss) and use more calories, which forces it to feed off my fat stores. The result is quick weight loss: superior effort breeds superior results. The April 30 installment of How To Not Suck is going to deal with this topic in depth.
The April 23 installment, however, is something totally different in a format you've never seen before from that beloved site of mine. Stay tuned!
Neat stuffI get to work out tonight after all. I was anticipating my quads trying to murder me today, but I forgot two things:
1. Stretching is very, very effective 2. I am awesome
So tonight I work out my upper body, then I take tomorrow off so my legs can finish recovering, and then Saturday I do my lower body, and all will be right in the world once more.
The other day a friend of mine from public school phoned me up and we got to talking. She now lives in the same town my girlfriend lives in. Weird, huh?
The next How To Not Suck is going to be something totally different from all previous articles. A lot of people claim this and then produce the same crap over and over again, but I actually mean it when I say it. The next article will stand alone.
I love when things clickI just sped up a poorly written site's page loading time by 5000% by changing two database queries from "select column, group function from table join table where condition group by group condition having condition2" to "select group function from table join table where condition and condition2"
For the non-database-geeks out there, I took something that was correct but slow and replaced it with something that was also correct and 5000% faster. I'm not even exaggerating, I did the math: 3.98 seconds the old way, .08 seconds the new way. 3.98/.08=49.75 * 100 = 4975% rounded up to 5000% because it's easier to say.
For the non-math-geeks out there, I made it hum.
In other news, I challenge everyone here to do the following workout tonight, and see if you can climb stairs without assistance on Friday:
150 squats (no added weight, thighs must go further than horizontal at the bottom) run 800 metres 150 more squats (as above)
Squats also hit the lower back, so make sure you have adequate support and don't hurt yourself doing this.
State of the OnionSo my last few journals have been kind of scatter-brained. This one should make a lot more sense.
How To Not Suck: should be back on a weekly schedule again
Rooster Tooths: transcripts all caught up
That Cool Project I Was Working On Before: still slowly making progress
That Cool Project I Hinted At Last Night: not gonna happen
My Heath And Wellness: I'm about 200lbs, which is not overweight, but it's a lot considering I thought I was stuck at 190. I need to lose 3 inches from my waist by next Saturday, and it's going well so far. The method: 5 smaller meals a day with better food, more cardio in my workouts, and exercise every night until next Saturday. Tonight I get to make my legs cry like sissy girls. The word from my trainer: Run Run Run!!!
Haha Forums Lawl: Not over, just on hiatus while I concentrate on everything else in the list