Signed up: 9 years ago (10/03/04)
Last signed in: 4 months ago
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DiMono Site Admin
DiMono Site Admin
My automatic phone voice conversation
Voice: You have qualified to win a trip, all inclusive, to Cancun, and a bonus trip to Florida. To hear more about this offer, press 9. To be removed from our calling list, press 8.

Me: *presses 8*

Voice: You have made an invalid selection.
...Do you ever get the feeling that some programmers are just dicks with ears?
7 years ago  |  Comments (29)  |  + 2 Funny
DiMono Site Admin
I Practice What I PreachIf you've spent any amount of time with me in person, you know the thing I hate most is when someone notices something wrong in their life, bitches about it and does nothing, or more likely does something specifically to make it worse. Things like "Oh, I'm so fat... where's the ice cream?" People who do this need to do one of two things: stop whining, or do something to correct the problem.

Today I corrected the problem. Several years ago I had braces, and when they were removed I made a bad choice and didn't get the wire across the bottom teeth to keep them in place. Over time they shifted around and crowded, and a few weeks ago one of them started scratching up the inside of my lower lip. Did I whine or complain about it? No! I talked to some people who are in the know about such things to see what could be done, and today I had another set of braces put on. I identified the problem, and did what was necessary to repair it. I lead by example.

In other news, a haircut, shave, and faded Atari T-shirt and I now have the perfect 14-year-old costume for tonight if I want. I, however, am going to stay at home and work on some things I didn't get a chance to do earlier.

Then I'm playing Grim Fandango.
7 years ago  |  Comments (15)  |  + 1 Ditto
DiMono Site Admin
Random shitToday I punched a car. This will eventually be an article on HowToNotSuck.com.

My pecs have enough muscle mass that if I step down hard, they jiggle. People love me at parties.

Tomorrow I work from home. Wednesday I work through the night. Thursday I kill everybody.

A couple weeks ago I bought a new suit. Saturday I get to wear it for dinner while celebrating one year with the best thing in my life.

I currently own 13 website domains. I currently maintain 6 websites. If you know how to count there's something cool to realise in there.

I am currently on level 63 of Psychopath. Only 8 levels after it, I just need a break to clear my head and gain a new perspective.

Yes, I am still planning to finish my Texas journals. They take a long time to write, so I just need a large enough block of time all at once to write the next part.

I currently have about 13 bottles of conditioner. They outnumber my shampoo 13-1 and are planning to attack at dawn. Little do they know shampoo has 12 bars of soap on its side.

My hair is almost dry after my shower, which means it's almost time for bed. Good night Cockbites!
7 years ago  |  Comments (22)  |  + 1 Funny
DiMono Site Admin
How To Not Suck At HalloweenHalloween Article is ready for you

Hopefully I've taken a different slant on it than other people who've talked about Halloween. You may be asking yourself "Why did he stay up until 2:30 in the morning writing this when he has to go to work the next day?" Well, what else am I gonna do, sleep?
7 years ago  |  Comments (17)  |  + 4 Funny
DiMono Site Admin
Why is it...that everyone congratulates me for the anniversary, but nobody congratulates me for not having to resort to giving my girlfriend a toaster?
7 years ago  |  Comments (23)  |  + 2 Funny
DiMono Site Admin
Two one year anniversariesSo a year ago Sunday by date was the first time the girlfriend and I went out together. It was to a singles party, she invited me, and her friend was there with us. I ended the night by dancing with both of them, then taking them both back to my place.

One week later was the first time we went out together without anyone else around; we went to see Jarhead, went for a walk, and then I made her shover her tongue down my throat. Journal entry All in all it was a pretty good couple of evenings.

Rather than try to figure out which one best qualifies as our first date (first time out together or first time alone, both have merit), we've just decided to celebrate both. This Saturday we're going out to a semi-fancy dinner followed by various games, and next Saturday we're eating at the 360 Restaurant at the top of the world's tallest free-standing building, the CN Tower. The restaurant actually spins, making a complete revolution every hour or so.

I also secured part of her non-specific-seasonal-holiday (political correctness sucks) present today. Nobody finds out what it is until after she does at Christmas. I'll just say it's something she doesn't expect, and it's not a toaster.
7 years ago  |  Comments (17)  |  + 2 Cool
DiMono Site Admin
The winner!And the winner is...

Actually, the correct answer was "Brown," so nobody won. Sorry folks.
7 years ago  |  Comments (26)
DiMono Site Admin
My own featured userFor the next hour I'm going to view a user's profile and keep it hidden in a tab of Firefox that will never see the light of day. Who should it be?

Difficulty: You can only nominate yourself

7 years ago  |  Comments (45)  |  + 1 Zing!
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