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burnie Cast & Crew
burnie Cast & Crew
Geoff's penance People keep asking what Achievement I should pin on Geoff now that he has lost the Call of Duty achievement race. There are lots of suggestions for impossible achievements, like "win five straight NBA 2k6 games online" (when no one plays online anymore). I think that defeats the purpose. I am leaning heavily towards either Dead Rising's Seven Day Survivor Achievement which requires at least 14 continuous hours of gameplay with no saves or Half Life 2's "Little Rocket Man" which makes you take a garden gnome from the first two minutes of the game all the way through until the end. Both are pretty funny. I think in the end it will be the Dead Rising one simply because I love that game so much and I can't believe he did not finish it. Plus, I have the achievement so I know it's not impossible.

During the contest, I floated the idea of an alternate "real life achievement" the loser could do instead of an Xbox one. Something like the "Tasty Dragon", where you have to eat an entire spoonful of cinnamon. Everyone seemed to like that, so I want to come up with something suitable for him. Geoff is a very picky eater and both Griffon and I have suffered for years when having meals with him. I've worked with him for about ten years now and it's a huge chore to find somewhere he can tolerate the food. So I think I will see if he wants to go out to a dinner during which anything Griffon orders for him, he has to eat. Nothing gross, just a normal meal from someplace that isn't (as Griffon puts it) "Pizza or Italian food for the millionth time". When I told her the idea for the real life achievement, I think she actually start cheering for me in the contest.
7 years ago  |  Comments (86)  |  + 25 Funny
86 COMMENTS Sort by Likes · Date
The real life achievement sounds excellent.
#31  Posted 7 years ago
How about "The One Free Bullet" in the Orange Box Set? You have to beat episode one, using only one bullet. Grenade, crowbar, rocket, and Gravgun kills are okay!

Or, for the real life achievement, have him break out the Super Nintendo and beat Super Ghouls N` Ghosts.
#32  Posted 7 years ago
Make him eat french food!!!..... really who would eat a snail eugh!
#33  Posted 7 years ago
the inhuman achievement should be his punishment
#34  Posted 7 years ago
Whatever it is...it better be hilarious...and video taped for proof!
#35  Posted 7 years ago
The Little Rocket Man achievement is brutal. The part with the car probably took ten years off of my life. All the pain is worth it. I think I would have carried the gnome through the game even if it wasn't an achievement.

7 Day Survivor is probably the best one though. I know I gave up on the 5 Day Survivor.

Real life achievement, make him eat a bag of onions.
#36  Posted 7 years ago
Real Life Achievement is way more worth it than the Xbox one.
#37  Posted 7 years ago
So I totally watched the Cinnamon Video. then there was a link to this other video*. I don't know which one is funnier.

But totally make geoff suffer... It's funnier that way.

*may contain NSFW content
#38  Posted 7 years ago
Food but the little rocket man sounds cool too.
I have a friend who's probably even pickier than Geoff... she really only eats pepperoni pizza, nothing else. It's a nightmare trying to get her to eat anything.
#39  Posted 7 years ago
Not knowing Geoff's picky eating habits, it's hard to assess what a "normal meal" would be in comparison, but I do think sushi is somewhat harsh for the sole reason that there are a lot of people that won't touch the stuff. I say go to a Chinese restaurant or a Thai place and start ordering up some food. That's pretty much a common staple in today's day and age and I'm sure plenty of those food items would gross Geoff out anyway.

Although that 14 hour marathon seems very very tempting, especially if he isn't allowed to play anything else until it's accomplished.

P.S. I thought about the whole 2K6 thing, and in retrospect it's a HORRIBLE idea. Reason being since no one plays it, why can't he just buy another copy (get it discounted) and get someone to play him on-line until he reaches whatever the achievement is? It's basically cheating the system.
#40  Posted 7 years ago
ragingterror Forum Mod
Make him eat sushi.
Bah, that's too easy.

(And tasty, too.)
#41  Posted 7 years ago
Go somewhere that has lots of mustard sachets and Chilli Burgers on the menu. Make him eat the Chilli Burger in under a minute, and if he fails make him eat the mustard. Of course, if he has a drink you need to poison it with the following ingrediants: salt, pepper, sugar, sweetener, vinegar, oil, 3 different types of mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise...

Continue the list with more condiments. We did this to our friend. It's fun watching them fail.

Oh and by the way, you don't have to use that for the meal plan: you can use this anytime!!!
#42  Posted 7 years ago
How about you just film yourself slapping him again. I think everyone enjoys that.
#43  Posted 7 years ago
lukemckay Cast & Crew
Good on you Burnie. If it does come down to a real life achievement, make sure the cameras are rolling.
#44  Posted 7 years ago  |  + 2 Ditto
i saw somethin drenched in tobasco sause
#45  Posted 7 years ago
WaydeUltima Sponsor
You should make him beat Through the Fire and Flames on expert. I agree with KrozeGG #25.
#46  Posted 7 years ago
griffon Cast & Crew
When I told her the idea for the real life achievement, I think she actually start cheering for me in the contest.

#47  Posted 7 years ago
Make him see a dallas stars game, if he makes it through the whole game not complaining, achievement unlocked.
#48  Posted 7 years ago
Seriously on gears of war.

#49  Posted 7 years ago
AFedExTruck3 MTK
I think you should have a real life achievement for taking a "Scoprion". It's just like a shot of tequila. Only instead, you snort the salt, take the shot, and then squeeze the lime into your eye. Oh, and video tape it as proof, or it didn't happen.
#50  Posted 7 years ago
I'm shooting for the real life achievement... I mean we don't want him to have fun right? we want him to squirm...

cause no matter how you look at it... video games are fun...
#51  Posted 7 years ago
Next time, give him a 90 point handicap.
#52  Posted 7 years ago
film_geek Site Admin
have fun with whatever you do. and congrats again.
#53  Posted 7 years ago
i tried doing the little rocket man one on HL2 Ep2.
man its really annoying
#54  Posted 7 years ago
Fuck you Burnie Burns this is pushedsouthremember me asshole! Well I bet you don't because your a bitchass little noob who only has a ton of achievments because you have no life.
#55  Posted 7 years ago  |  - 1 WTF
And here I was going to suggest the secret achievement for Dead or Alive 4, which as I understand, is to achieve the #1 rank on the worldwide leaderboard.

Talk about defeating the purpose.

Post edited 11/12/07 1:59PM
#56  Posted 7 years ago
Dirt410 110Percent
he should get a tattoo of ur face on his left butt cheek and Griffon's on his right with the words "Joint ownership of Burnie Burns and Griffon Ramsey". that would be hilariously funny and provide endless enjoyment. lol
#57  Posted 7 years ago
I think the Little Rocket Man, or the Ammo Hog on F.E.A.R., using less than 500 Ammo Rounds, Good fucking Luck. Or in the real life one, Sky Diving in a Speedo
#58  Posted 7 years ago
I think you should go with the gnome as its a little more humiliating. Its a huge pain in the ass and also he is going to forget and have to start over all over again just to get it.
#59  Posted 7 years ago
The real life achievment thing is a pretty good idea. And didn't Luke and Griffon do a comic about that Dead Drising achievment thing where you got a babysitter to watch the game or something?
#60  Posted 7 years ago
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