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GodOBiscuitsJournalAMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

November 6th, 2009

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

Sorry for the caps, I copied this from an e-mail. Enjoy!

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Comments [ Add a Comment ]   [ Watch Comments ]   [ 1 ]
MadCatKaine
MadCatKaine
Serenity
#1   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Ditto     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
OMG ROFL, as my daddy always says, if it doesn't fit right, get a bigger hammer.
Ninjen13
Ninjen13
Sparkly Eyes
#2   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Cool     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
I'm fairly sure i posted this exact same journal last year LOL

Oh man, some emails you just can't pass up!
JasonThePink is online
JasonThePink
DirtyWater
#3   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Zing!     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
I enjoy your face very much. In my pants.
cmayes0019
cmayes0019
Chaotic Good
#4   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Cool     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Excellent!
FushigiHime
FushigiHime
snapped
#5   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Ditto     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
ahh wise words of wisdom!
SloeBombFizz is online
SloeBombFizz
anal nathrac
#6   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Funny     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
You had me at #1.
The wife doesn't trust me to cook because of past incidents... and now I've got the solution.

Thanks,
sandoutlawed
sandoutlawed
Sore
#7   Posted 2 weeks ago
+ 1 Ditto     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
Duct tape and baling twine.....I can fix anything!
mm172001
mm172001
New360Owner
#8   Posted 1 week ago
+ 1 Cool     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
lol thanks for the laugh!
Cold_Flames0
Cold_Flames0
#9   Posted 1 week ago
+ 1 Cool     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
i only wish there was a +50 Awesome mod for this post. Fething hilarious.
Mirror
Mirror
Koigokoro
#10   Posted 1 week ago
+ 1 Cool     [ Reply ]   [ Quote ]
WIN!
A badly needed giggle lol.
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