|
|
|
|
| |
| Signed up: |
7 years ago (4/10/06)
|
|
|
Last signed in:
|
3 days ago
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Because when bots bother me at workI'm really not in the mood to dick around. Figuratively or literally.
And eventually, I figured, if we're going to have two separate conversations, let's really have two separate conversations. At the end, I just spoke in nothing but TV quotes.
-
Jen:
hiya there
Me:
What
Jen:
hola babe how are you?
Me:
I don't know. What's the opposite of horny?
Jen:
Accept the invite, if you need the link again its **
Me:
You're just going to skip the whole pretense of pretending to be a real human, then, huh?
Jen:
Im great thnks for chating w/ me..  , we hve chatt'd bfore, right?
Me:
Nope, it's too late, you've already jumped to the end of the script. You can't go back to the beginning, bot.
Jen:
wut??
Me:
I said, "Chris Colfer's ass."
Jen:
oops lolz :$, i can be forgetful at timez! so what u up 2?
Me:
How can you possibly forget Chris Colfer's ass? It is, by its very definition, unforgettable.
Jen:
i just finished workin out so I'm rly flexible right now. maybye i can do sum special moves 4 u lols I can do the splts, get my legs ovr my head and even lick my pink wet kitty ha ha  !! I can make myself SQUirt too!!
Me:
Yeah, that's pretty much the fastest way to lose my interest, bro.
Jen:
sweeet!!  yu could give me some tips on how i could do it better...im ready to get on my webcam and sho yu if yu wanna see...so we dont have to keep typng n i hve a mic too okay?? 
Me:
Let me guess. I NEED A CREDIT CARD NUMBER BUT IT WON'T GET CHARGED, IT'S ONLY TO PROVE I'M OF AGE, RIGHT?
Jen:
ofcourse not babe, just requires cc for age verification, pretty much like every other raunchy site..lol
Me:
Lol. Jk. Brb. Afk. 1337 5p34k FTW.
Jen:
alright my webcm is wired through a chat netwrk to keep the kiddo's away from me so don't worry if you don't have a cam or you'rs don't work ok? I Got You covered QT!
Me:
Quentin Tarantino?
Jen:
ok QT this is just going to be you n me...go to nice ** if you cant clik the link type it in or copy npaste it to u're browser, do you see me?
Me:
Nope. Too busy not being an idiot.
Jen:
make sure u accept my free cam chat invte on the left hand side, it expires in 10 mins. 2 b free, click it okie?
Me:
He would come to visit me, and he hated it--the stench more than anything--so he would bring a fistful of wildflowers so that it would smell nice for me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they ripped them out of my hands as soon as I left the visiting room.
Jen:
okay, fill out your info,first and last name, make sure you put your correct b-day okay?
Me:
Oh, mom, saying no will complicate things, okay? Big time. I mean, that is a huge rejection.
Jen:
credt card, debit card, or atm it's to make sure you're real, ur card will NOT be charged, every membr on site has been verifed as real, okay? I had to do the same thing babe... can't sho titties and pussi to minors..yoo kno?? :$
Me:
I am not following you, or pursuing you in any way. Nor am I entering into some sort of twisted competition with my brother to get you into bed, okay? You slept with Sonny, woo, hooray for you! It doesn't make you any more or less attractive to me.
Me:
As a matter of fact, I don't find you desirable at all. You're actually kind of irritating and petty and annoying and far more trouble than you're worth. AND you are a colossal bad loser. That, to me, is the ultimate character flaw.
Me:
You see? You're actually disappointing to me on every level. So if we happen to be in the same general proximity as one another--geographically, I mean--just know that it must be an accident or--dare I say?--you're pursuing me.
Jen:
wish u were in my bed having your way with me 
Me:
I don't need a therapist. I'm fine. You're the one who's breaking into a sweat because your papers are all out of order on the floor. My only problem is that I have a pediatrician's appointment that took me three months to make, but that's all right because that's life and I can go with the flow, and I can clean up my own little corner of my own little life.
Jen:
Me:
STOP TALKING! RIGHT NOW! DON'T SPEAK! DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD! BECAUSE I AM PUTTING ORDER IN YOUR BRIEFCASE!!!!!
Jen:
kk let me kno when yoo get u r free usernme n' passwrd from the site and make sure yoo use that to login with and type it EXACTLY as they gave it to yoo w/ dashes, hyphens or whatever just make sure it is exact
Me:
I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. I was distracted by your giant horse teeth.
Jen:
okie babe, make sure u put all ur corrct address info that matches u're cc or else you|u|yu|yoo} wont get my free invite, did u  ???
Me:
WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT? DON'T YOU EVER, EVER DO THAT AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?
Jen:
babe?? did u check your email for the freee password?
Me:
I FEEL LIKE I'VE TAKEN CRAZY PILLS!
Jen:
yu better give me some "gold* when your on the site lol.. it is like a flirt n I wuld love some from yu ..okay?
Me:
I feel no passion for you, I have no attraction for you, and since you have the emotional IQ of a simian, I would be happy to demonstrate. Watch and learn.
Jen:
okie yu in?
Me:
I got taunted at my old school, and it really pissed me off. I even complained about it to the faculty. They were sympathetic, but you could just tell that no one really cared. It was like, "hey, if you're gay, life's just going to be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it." So I left. I came here. Simple as that.
Jen:
yup, clik on private time under my cam sweety, ok?
Me:
So you have two options. I'd love to tell you to just come enroll here, but tuition at Dalton is steep and I know that's not an option for everyone, or you can refuse to be the bully. Confront him. Call him out. I ran, Kurt. I didn't stand up for myself. I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really really regret.
Jen:
k
Me:
Nice not chatting with you, whorebot.
|
|
|
Watch
Invite to Group
