8 years ago (10/03/04)
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the news on Rooster Teeth.
||So, XBox OneWe got to see the console, we got to see it in action, we saw in-engine footage from Forza and CoD, and we got some filler to pad out to an hour. Also Spielberg is directing a live-action Halo TV series, and they partnered with the NFL for some pretty awesome realtime stat stuff, which was also demoed.|
Compare to the Playstation 4 reveal: we got to see what the controller looked like, we got an announcement of an announcement for the new Final Fantasy game, we saw a graphics demo that was a year and a half old, and no actual proof that the system exists anywhere beyond the theory stage.
Microsoft gave us a practical demonstration of a working console. Sony gave us nothing but a bunch of promises. Microsoft had the better reveal conference. Hands down.
||LLLLLLLLLLLET'S WRITE!So it seems apparent that the time of keeping up the weekly Speech Only instalments has come to an end. Right now I'm just too busy to keep it to a schedule of any sort, and with my birthday coming up next weekend, RTO 2 weeks after that, RTX in July, FanExpo and Follow Your Fear Day in August, Tough Mudder in September, RT Philly whenever the hell it's happening this year, and that mystery story I'm about to start writing, it's only going to get worse.|
Rather than keep falling behind and feeling bad about having to catch up, I'm going to move Speech Only to a sporadic schedule, as something to be done whenever I feel the urge to do it; like murder. That this decision comes after the nice and round number 30 really is just a happy coincidence, the number of them I've written has no impact on this decision. So it will still happen, but not on any kind of regular schedule. Hopefully you've all enjoyed them so far, and will continue to in the future, whenever they come out.
Plotting for the mystery is coming along at a medium pace, but it is indeed progressing. I've gained an additional 18 watchers since reaching the 1000 watcher threshold, so I'm going to take that as there being great anticipation for this story. Fear not: it's coming. From behind you.
Also coming is my 33rd birthday on Sunday. You know it's an important one because it has repeating digits. Who wants to buy me things?
||At my brother's wedding|
A lot of people coming up here to give speeches have also been giving marriage advice. I'm not married. However, if I may, I'd like to open with a quote from a man named John Wing:
Never, interrupt, your wife. Never. Interrupt. Your wife. Because if you do... she's just gonna start all over again.
I've known Rob for what feels like 30-something years. I've put up with Rob for what feels like 30-something years. He's a man with many quirks, which I'm sure everyone here are familiar with. I won't enumerate them now because he's undoubtedly demonstrated most of them already tonight.
However, you've found someone to love and ...tolerate you. It makes me glad to see that you've found happiness. Johanna, welcome to the family, and I am deeply, truly, sorry.
||Speech Only 30"They say he came from the depths of hell, riding a black steed with hoofs of fire and a body made of nightmares. He bore a sword forged in the blood of murderers and villains, engraved with the words 'THE URN' down the side of the blade, and a shield covered in the skulls of his fallen enemies. When he rode, Heaven itself trembled before him, and dark clouds followed him."|
"What are you doing?"
"On this day, he rode on the Mountain of Dra'al, chasing the one beast of the land whose head did not yet adorn his wall: the elusive Fire Dragon, rumoured to bathe in the flames of the volcano. On this day, his goal was set; he rode, both hands on the reins as he drove his hellbound steed forward, determined to claim the head of the drake as his own."
"Seriously, what are you doing?"
"Uhm- the wind pushed past his war-scarred face, bearing the spoils of a lifetime of combat. He finally neared the mountain, and the mountain was intimidated by him."
"Charlie, what are you doing?"
"H- His mount hesitated, but he pushed it forward through sheer force of will. His quest had brought him this far; he would continue moving forward until it was beaten."
"What the he-"
"Jesus Christ woman, I'm setting a mood here."
"I'm about to throw my character into combat with the most epic monster in the game, so I'm building it up a little, creating some suspense."
"Certainly not for you; for myself."
"But don't you already know what's coming?"
"That's not the point, Monica."
"So what's the point?"
"The fight is going to be hard. I'm building myself up to get some adrenaline going, so I can do better."
"So you're going to win."
"Well probably not now, not after you killed the mood like that."
"You're going to lose?"
"Then why fight?"
"Because it's not about whether I succeed, it's about the excitement of being in the fight at all."
"And building it up helps with that?"
"What was with all that 'depths of hell' stuff?"
"It's called flavour text- look, I know you don't play this game, but can you please just let me do it how I want to?"
"Okay, but first you should look at me to see what you're missing out on."
"...Mountain of Dra'al can wait."
||Speech Only 29, and an updateSo you remember how I said I'd start on another novel at 1000 watchers, and then I hit 1000 watchers, and I haven't posted anything from the new novel yet? That's because it's still in the planning stages. However, today I had an idea that would be pretty damn epic if I can make it work. Now it needs to be properly planned out in advance. So I have indeed started on the novel, it's just not in the "things are finished for the web" stages yet.|
In the meantime, I've also fallen a few weeks behind on Speech Only. And I'm going to miss the next two weeks as well, because of my brother's wedding and RT MN (go buy tickets). To make up for that, I'm going to give you a new one every night from today until Thursday, which will not only have me caught up, but get me a week ahead so I don't have to worry about it when I'm in Minnesota. Tonight's Speech Only after the kitten hug picture, because there's no such thing as too much of that gif.
"I've come to a decision."
"This is never a good thing."
"Josh, stop joking around, I'm serious."
"Okay, you've come to a decision. What have you come to a decision about?"
"What to name my kid."
"You don't have a kid."
"Of course I don't; if I did, it would be pretty dumb for me to be giving her a new name at this point."
"Sorry, you're right; what are you going to name your future kid with a woman you haven't met yet because you've been single for as long as I've known you?"
"It was meant to. So what are you going to name him?"
"You're going to name him Her?"
"No, it's a name for a girl. What am I doing to name her?"
"How am I supposed to know that? You haven't told me yet."
"Stop being an ass."
"So what are you going to name her?"
"You're going to call her an android?"
"I'm going to name her Anandroid. Anne or Anna for short."
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but why are you going to name your mythical future daughter Anandroid?"
"It's strategic, like everything I do."
"Like how you always engage in a land war in Asia."
"Says the man who's never won a game of Risk in his life."
"Sorry, continue. How is it strategic to name your imaginary daughter Anandroid?"
"It's so I can mess with people. This way, when I introduce her to people, I can say 'This is my daughter. She's Anandroid.' And the people I'm introducing her to will say 'Holy crap, you have an android!?' It'll be glorious."
"See, this is why it pains me to know you. Because you do things like this, and I have to pretend they're somewhere in the vicinity of logical."
"Look me in the eye and tell me it wouldn't be great to mess with people on that personal of a level."
"What personal? The only person you'd be messing with is your own daughter."
"Of course it is. What's the point of having kids if you don't scar them for life by giving them a messed up name?"
"You would name your daughter Anandroid, just to screw with her from birth."
"When her teacher calls attendance, they'll call out 'Is Anandroid here?' and she'll have to say 'Yes, I'm Anandroid.'"
"You are so seriously messed up."
"Tell me that wouldn't be glorious."
||Kitten Hug and Community Events|
Speaking of nothing at all to do with that, Both RT MN and RT Vegas are coming up the weekend of May 25/26. If you're planning to attend one of them, make sure you visit their respective groups (linked above) and announce yourself, and in RT MN's case make sure you buy a ticket. These events can only happen if the community comes out for them, so it's important that they know beforehand how many people to expect.
Who knows, you might even see me at one of them.
||DilemmaWant to eat cereal and do specific things on computer, but also want sleep.|
You win this time, unconsciousness.
||Two thingsFirst: 3 children kidnapped in Cleveland 10 years ago have been found. Kind of big news in the area, everyone should read about it.Second: Came across this randomly this morning. Basically it's a bunch of pictures showing how celebrities look different in real life than they do in magazines. Which isn't a surprise to anyone who knows that all publicity photos are touched up so that the celebrities can look more "perfect." For the most part, the differences they're focused on is cellulite in their legs.|
Now there's something I want to point out here: I've seen a lot of people in shorts in my life, of all ages and all body types. The only people I have ever seen cellulite to that extent on are people who are overweight. Celebrities don't generally fall into that category; they tend to be thin and ostensibly healthy. So what the hell is going on in California that gives thin people that much cellulite?
I looked it up, and I came up with a WebMD page about the causes and treatments for cellulite. Among the causes:
º Fad dietingI once read somewhere that if you're envious of one part of someone's life, you need to be envious of the rest of their life too, because that's what allows them to have the part you admire. The Hollywood lifestyle is apparently the leading cause of cellulite in otherwise thin people. Still envious?