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| Signed up: |
7 years ago (10/03/04)
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Last signed in:
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1 year ago
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Total time online:
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0d 20h 36m
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25 year-old male from Baie-Comeau, Canada
WELCOME TO THE XANDER XONE!!! | Latest Post | |
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The Diary of a Troubled Soul
Once, when I was very small, my mother gave birth to me. She waited a long time (ALMOST A YEAR!!!!) with me in her tummy, and now I am able to walk around and gather stones along the edge of the river. However, there is snow on the floor outside so I cannot do this anymore, because my hands get really cold and wet and they turn red then I can’t feel them anymore and that makes me sad, because I then have to wait. If I turn on the oven, my hands will hurt a lot because I enjoy resting them on the elements on the oven. My oven has four elements: Fire, Earth, Wind and Plastic. Most of my toys are made of soft plastic, similar to the plastic used in garbage bags, because when I was young, I accidentally misplaced about 17-18 pieces of lego in my nose, and I was unable to get them out. We still do not know what happened to the other 4 peices. So now I cannot play with anything small enough to fit in any part of my body, nor am I allowed to get inside anything (garbage bags, dresses, plastic buckets, the oven when my dad cooks the pizza for friday nights). Friday nights are the best, because thats when TGIF is on. We eat pizza for supper, ice cream for dessert, then we watch TGIF on ABC while eating poppycorn. Thats my favourite part, because I lay down on the couch on my stomach and eat the popcorn from the bowl. Laying on my stomach is better than sitting on the couch normally because then if I get sick i can just vomit behind the couch and mommy dosnt find it till saturday morning when she cleans up the living room after TGIF I get gassy after I vomit, and whenever I get gassy I start throwing all the papers I find in my mommies desk in the living room. She does not like it very much, but what can she do I’m at basket ball practice saturday mornings! I dont have a team, but I go down to the park and wathc the older boys play basket ball. Once, I threw a rock at a boy playing backset ball, and it hit him on the head and I had to run away cause they are all much much bigger than I am. Someday, I’ll throw a rock at their heads that is big enough for them to fall down and cry like my dad threw at me last summer. We were camping, and when I went fishing I accidentally hooked my daddy on the side of his cheek with my fish hook and jokingly I kept tugging harder and harder on the stick and he was crying. I was laughing so hard that I didnt see the rock hit me. I woke up several days later and my daddy told me to say that I fell from the dock because I caught a big fishy! After that, he bought me a Game Boy and a Pokemon game! I dont like the Pokemon game very much but the Game Boy has two batteries in it and whenever I put them in my mouth it tastes good. My mommy and daddy think I really like playing but I just pretend while I have the batteries in my mouth. My mouth is blue now because I went into my mommies cupboard and found four bottles of color they were yellow red green and blue. Blue is my favourite color, so I drank the whole bottle. Then I took the sharp rocks I picked up from this summer and went over to the neighborâ€s car and I wrote them a message on the side of their car that said “I AM VERY STUPID FUCK†I don’t know what the last word means but I hear mommy and daddy say it a lot late at night. I think daddy hurts mommy because I hear her crying a lot. I wonder if he is really hurting her or if they are playing the same game I play sometimes when my daddy is tickling me and I want him to stop so I start yelling DADDY STOP TOUCHING MY PEEDOO so loud that once the neighbors called the police and I got to ride in the police car TWICE! They even let me turn on the sirens! Now I live with Officer McCoy and his wife, Maria, and they bought me a PONY! I’m so happy with my new mommy and daddy. I wonder what happened to them.
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| Awards | | | | Staff Awards | |
| | Milestones [ Compare ] | |
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| | The Goods | | | Name |
Matthew | | Occupation |
Meat in mouth mover | | Birthday |
January 9th, 1987 | | Interests |
Internets | | Gamertag |
| | MODULE'S... | | | Games |
Show 10 More | | Music |
Pretty much anything really (cept pop and other stuff like that) | | Movies |
Beverly Hills Cop 1/2(/3) Pulp Fiction Kill Bill 1/2 Reservoir Dogs Evil Dead (series) The Goonies Dune (original and remake) Lots of Sci-Fi action comedy etc! |
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