I just realized that this is journal 500

8 years ago

Congratulations True Believers, you've found the best journal of all time.

Actually, probably not. I'm not doing a contest, I'm not posting pictures, instead, if you're interested, read on.

This is a journal means a lot to me, as do your comments. If you're watching me and on my friends list and don't feel like reading, please take me off your friends list.

The story of TheAlbacor

Many of you know already that I am the type of person who questions EVERYTHING. Why did this person do that? Why are these people like this? How many licks DOES it take? Well, I am completely sure that I am like this because of my childhood.

My parents divorced when I was 4 and too young to understand that this was a fairly big deal. When I was growing up I had to listen to constant bitching about each parent from the other. "Your mom's a lying bitch" and, "Your dad's a selfish asshole." I split time evenly between the two houses so I got an equal amount of trash talk about each of them, which made me slightly resent and constantly wonder what, if any of it, was actually true.

As it turns out, my dad was the "fun" parent. Dad bought me and my sister almost anything we wanted (within limits, of course, we weren't rich by any means). He had a full time government job working on a military base not too far from us, and he made pretty good money doing it. He also earned time off very quickly and could take us on short vacations all the time. But, things started to go bad at work and my dad went a little nuts and resigned (he should be receiving some retirement money, but isn't for some reason. USA government, FTW!). Anyways, he had a weird episode and was taken to the VA hospital a few years back where he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and social anxiety disorder.

On the other side, my mom was the "strict" parent. She rarely bought my sister and I things and now that I'm old enough, I understand it was because we had to live on welfare. However, my mom had multiple jobs, at one point 5 different jobs, and worked her ass off to provide for us. She ended up marrying my stepdad who passed away just last year. After that she started going to school to get a degree in medical transcription so that she could make decent money when she got done, and she still continued to work multiple jobs on top of school. She found out when she graduated that she got paid jack at that job, so she went back to school again for a degree in nursing, which she now has. Now, she is finally in the position to afford things for us, even though she still doesn't "spoil" us too much, which is fine by me.

Now, back to me. My whole life I've always been somewhat of the odd guy out. All through school, the people in the grade above me picked on me constantly. I was routinely called a "fag" or something to that effect. This even happened in the private Christian school I went to up until 8th grade. Then, when coming to the bigger high school with more people I had even more trouble fitting in, at least at first. I could tell that my classmates thought I was weird and a lot of them thought I was a stoner (before I actually tried the stuff... figure that one out). Then, after getting grades back a few times, people began to realize that I was actually pretty intelligent and not just some dumb loser. This continued when I got a 28 on my first and only ACT, beating many of the "smart" people in my grade.

My senior year, I became famous. The teachers loved me and so did my classmates, as well as many of the younger kids. This is probably because I was nice to everyone and would joke around with all of them, even if other people called them losers or treated them like shit. After all, I knew what that was like. I did a stand-up comedy routine for our "Mr. West Salem" competition during homecoming that had most of the school literally chanting my name, well, technically, my nickname, Animal (This came from this action I used to do during sporting events. I was better at pumping up our crowds than the damn cheerleaders were.)

It was a weird experience being famous. One day a guy I didn't know, but had seen before (I went to a fairly small HS) walked up to me and told me that my dome light was still on. I was confused at first, but said "Thanks, man." This continues to happen to me in my hometown. People will see me and say "Hi, Nick." And I'll try to conceal my confusion and my attempts at figuring out who they are, and then say, "Hey, how's it going?" back with a smile.

But, remember, I said I was famous, not popular. I didn't really hang out with too many people outside of high school and only got invited to a few times. I was more like everybody's friend than anybody in particular's friend. Some people even came to me for advice, but still didn't really want to just hang around me, which was kind of annoying.

All these things though, have led me to constantly question peoples' motives. Why is it that most people feel comfortable talking to me and around me, but at the same time don't really want to do things with me too often? What is that person's intention? etc.

These things have also made me relatively shy, at least until I realize that I have some sort of support or backing from some people. Zatch should understand this (Think back to the first RvB MN. I didn't really talk to anyone BUT Zatch, for the most part.)

I've become someone who really gets mad when I hear about all the bullshit that women have to deal with, probably due to my overwhelming respect for my mom and everything she's done.

I also hate to see the minority bullied by the majority, partially due to respect for my grandfather (he's about 1/8 Native American and has fairly dark skin, do the math). I can't stand true racism. (Jokes, of course, are jokes, IMO. If we can't make fun of each other at all for our differences, what are we going to make fun of!? Yes, I'm fine with white jokes.)

Well, that's all I can think of. Any comments, or questions?

How do you think I turned out?

How much does this journal suck?


Comments (43)

  • tmanning24


    4 years ago

    There are always people who seem to be friends with everyone, but truly have very few friends. It seems like you got caught as the person who everyone knew, but no one really got to know, and it's unfortunate. The politics of high school are a real pain.

  • MastaChiefa2


    4 years ago

    If journal 500 was pretty damn good, imagine journal 1000... DAMN!

  • LTedd


    5 years ago

    Interesting story. Similar story to me it seems like.

    I'd say you turned out pretty well.

  • LinkLvr


    6 years ago

    That was quite a read. It sounds like you've probably been through a lot and learned a lot early on which helped you mature faster than the "other kids". At least, that's how i turned out since i lived in Saudi Arabia from when i was 10 until i was 14.

    From this journal I think you turned out fine.

    And damn, 500 journals [way more since this was from 2 years ago] that is quite an accomplishment.

  • ZoSo102


    6 years ago

    congrats on the 500 thing
    the journal not bad but its no tom clancy i give it a b+

  • JediT


    6 years ago

    very likeable

  • JacobDjavul


    6 years ago

    Ah you turned out fine, I still need your soul though ;-) Cheers!

  • Bookworm


    6 years ago

    I was a social pariah from junior high onwards. Even my own cousin, who I'd been pretty close to, shunned me upon entering 7th grade (of course he was cute and therefore "popular," whereas I was smart and exceptionally nerdy-looking). What I wouldn't have given at that time to be one of the insiders, or even to be recognized by someone! The only place I ended up finding a semblance of acceptance was in color guard, but even that had a lot of cliquiness and hating towards others. By the time I was a senior, I just didn't care anymore. I saw what being popular turned people into, and I knew I was better than that. I knew I needed to get out of that town to escape the nonsense and find my true self, not what everyone else thought I was. Even now when I visit my hometown, I see everyone slipping back into their high school selves and all the busted relationships that go with it. I don't care now that I wasn't famous or popular. I learned self-reliance and independence, and I wouldn't trade that for five minutes of fame. Who I am now is a professionally successful, personally happy woman. Totally worth escaping the toxicity of popularity.

    It was very brave of you to share your story with the world-at-large like this. Kudos to you! Personally, I appreciate an inquisitive and analytical mind. Never, ever lose that.

  • death5750


    6 years ago

    WOW Thats all i can say.

  • JB09


    6 years ago

    cool man