Okay, I know most people think "newbie" and "noob" are the same thing. Even Wikipedia says that "noob" is sort of a slang version of "newbie" - and, surprisingly, Wikipedia is probably the most reputable authority on the subject. However, I'm here to debunk the claims that a new guy is, invariably, a noob. Here, I present to you a list of key differences between the two: (Disclaimer: I understand that I'm not an authority on the subject. If you have some reason to refute my claims - besides something like "they're all stupid and should GTFO" - please leave a comment and I'll adjust my list.)

Newbies ("Newbs"):
- Lacks experience posting on websites - and shows it in his/her posts.
- Less than 5 Karma (give or take a few).
- Most of his/her posts (what few there are at the moment) are questions about how to use the site.
- No profile picture.
- No profile details.
- Usually leads his/her statements with "im new here" or "this might not be the right forum so sorry if this doesnt make sense."
- Often chooses not to use proper grammar (this is, after all, the Internet).
- Posts don't include tags of any kind (images, colors, links, etc.).
- Leaves inappropriate comments on staff profiles ("Can I be your friend," "lol you remind me of [insert celebrity here]," "check out my stuff," etc.)**.

- Refuses to learn from his/her mistakes or admit fault in any way.
- A decent amount of Karma (no specific amount, just enough to prove he/she's been active on the site for a while).
- Poorly assembled profile (no grammar, unequivocally stupid pictures, etc.).
- Rarely uses grammar, most often due to laziness or a mentality that message boards are the same as chat rooms. (They're not.)
- Usually includes the words "I don't care" in his/her replies to other people.
- Posts topics that break the forum rules (favorites lists, "did you know [blank]," etc.)
- When called out on being a noob, usually defaults to name-calling.

There is a sub-category of noob, known as the "troll," that differs in a few key areas.
- Takes genuine pleasure from the suffering of others.
- Opens his/her conversations with an offensive comment.
- May or may not pretend to be innocent. (This depends on how well thought-out his/her first comment seems. Skilled trolls will try to pose as people who want a "stimulating discussion," while the more amateur kind will simply be as annoying as humanly possible.)
- No site history of any civil conversations in his/her past.
The very existence of trolls can be best explained by this Penny Arcade comic.

I understand that much of this stuff seems obvious at first glance, but when faced with an actual newb/noob in conversation, your actions and their reactions can vary widely. Many newbies I've met actually care about trying to learn how to use the site, and just don't know where to go for that (the First Stop forum, by the way). If you see someone making a mistake, tell them what they did wrong without flaming them of the face of the earth. They'll respond positively to posts that support them, and may eventually turn out to be valuable members of the community. However, I have also witnessed genuine noobs who simply refuse to learn the error of their ways. As soon as it becomes apparent that someone is simply going to keep acting retarded, the current policy of pest control will serve you fine. New guys, it's your responsibility to learn how to use the site as fast as possible so we can talk on an equal playing field instead of wasting our time trying to kick you out. Regulars, your job is to give people who post stupid posts at least a small chance to learn from their mistakes. Noobs, your task is to GTFO.

In summary:
Newbies are inexperienced, but want to learn.
Noobs are purposely ignorant, and will never learn.
Trolls are a sub-group of noobs who try to annoy you for their entertainment.

** To any new site members that take offense at this: please remember that you are just one member out of over 700,000 1 million on this site (wow, this journal's old). Think about what would happen if every single one of them posted stuff like this at once. We all want to be friends with the staff (we wouldn't be here if we didn't think their work was awesome), but we also respect their need for personal space.