So for a while.. i've had feelings for a special friend of mine.. and I was a bit worried about things.. so i never told her. Recent events happened and she met an awesome young lady.. and had been spending some time with her. Of course at first, for about a week I was into a spirialing depression over it.. then i finally got the courage to talk to her about it.

We ended up talking for about 2 hours about everything.. and how i felt.. and to my surpise .. she was as suprised about it as I was.. she never really expected to meet anyone like her.. and due to our personalities being so similar.. we both want the same things out of a relationship.. but over time if we were to be together.. things would probably fall apart.. we have such a great friendship.. and we'd both hate to ruin that.. so i'm ok with things as they are...but a twist!

I met her friend last night and we all hung out, had dinner.. the works.. and it was very amazing and fun. This girl she has met.. is quite literally everything I want in a woman.. she's BEAUTIFUL as ever.. extremely thoughtful, and just.. has a good personality that simply makes me sadly while I am extremely happy for them both (they compliment each other so very well).. I feel a great sense of depression and sorrow... the reason being is i'm quite jealous.. why can't i meet a woman such as her.. so beautiful on the inside and out.. and compliments me so perfectly... It's also a little frustrating that she can pick up such cute and awesome girls and I can't even get the trashy nasty ones to give me a 2nd glance..

Maybe i should stop looking for it.. maybe i need to stop caring.. but.. that's easier said than done.. it's not something I can just drop and let go.. not easily.... and everytime i do or have been able to.. i always end up this way again.. so who's to say it won't happen again?