Time to get Cheesy
It’s been a bit since my last post. Finalizing this rating system has been tough. Generally, I feel like there’s way too much negativity in the various gaming community multiverses. Platform wars. Microtransactions. Player’s wishes vs development realities. Review systems. EA. Any conversation about these topics usually carries some form of sour attitude. I don’t want to add to that. I love games. I love sharing games. To this end, any game I talk about, I’ll aim to compare to one of Earth’s most beloved treasures: pizza.
Aside from dietary concerns, what’s not to love about pizza? At its base, pizza is a particular arrangement of stuff on bread meant to sustain you. At its best, pizza can be a joyous experience to be shared with loved ones. The same can be said about games. Games mean a myriad of things to their players. To some, they sustain. To some, they are a joy to be shared with loved ones. See, some analogies, like good pizza, are meant to be cheesey.
The Meat of the Matter
Anyhoo, as I run through my games of 2017 and beyond, I’ll aim to recommend games by comparing them to their pizza counterparts. This yummy rating system has five main tiers. I have a few other special ratings, but I suspect they will be rare as their spice level is too high. Below, have a taste of my pizza-based review system. Because they're all fairly well known, I used various Mario games as examples.
Pizza: Basic Cheese
Meaning: If you have time
Description: This game is nothing particularly special. You’ll likely have an ok time if you’re looking for something on which to kill some time.
Example: Mario Run -- Android, iOS
Pizza: Trusty Pepperoni
Meaning: Check it out
Description: There are loads of games out there, but this one is worth some of your time. Probably nothing groundbreaking or maybe it's time in the sun has passed, but there’s fun to be had. Dig in!
Example: One of the lessor Mario games on the DS
Pizza: Specialty Lovers
Meaning: Worth your time if you like a very certain sauce.
Description: This game may be good, bad, or great for various reasons, but there’s something really special here if you’re a fan of its particular flavor. This has some sort of wildcard ingredient that might not be for everyone, but is well worth a look for those who know what they are looking for.
Example: Mario Strikers -- Gamecube
Pizza: Supreme Pizza
Meaning: Should play.
Description: If you’re a game fan, you should play this. There’s something special about this game that should appeal to most anyone.
Example: Mario Sunshine -- Gamecube
Pizza: Hawaiian with a side of ranch
Meaning: Must play!
Description: A master class experience. A trailblazer or trendsetter. Other games will be learning and stealing from this game for years. When people ask “What should I play?” this is your answer.
Example: Mario Odyssey -- Switch
Sure, the toppings mentioned above are all subjective, but so are individual tastes for games. Let me know how’d you rate some of your favorites.