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get big pt 2
read pt 1
Besides this bullshit, I have to deal with my own friends group, which is just getting on my nerves. The only person I can really stand all the time is Grant, and then Wesley for the most part. Chelsea, since dating Lance, has gotten annoying. Anytime we've drank, she's been adamant against it, even getting moody and shit, when she used to be pretty chill with it all. Amy, simply hangs around a lot which bothers me, and just has a tendency to irritate me. Suzy, since Erick, has gotten a bit annoying. Katherine, there's nothing really wrong with, but she gets bipolar and worries over stupid things, and has her problems with Alex. If anything Katherine's been a better friend now, but really its when all these people sit in the same room together that it annoys me.
For halloween Alex and Erick invited everyone to Madison, which I didn't want to deal with. First Chelsea drops out, and I have to deal with Alex complaining over that. Then when I get to Madison I just leave everyone there at Erick's because I didn't want to hang out with any of them. Saturday, my sister and I go to Erick's party and for myself it just sucks. I want to hang out with Cody, Erick, Litscher, but I don't want to hang out with any of my miad friends. Then Alex pretty much ignores me, and there was just this awkwardness in the air with Holly and Katherine. The weekend pretty much sucks besides getting to sit at home doing nothing. On top of that Kd had been asking to hang out with me, which I was simply brushing off. I think I've told her "next time" about three or four times now. I don't think I could deal with seeing her. I felt awkward enough knowing Karl was at Erick's, and though I didn't see him, I just didn't know how I would feel if I did.
The next weekend is the Mountain Goats concert, I invite Katherine and Suzy to go, and I figure its a good idea. Katherine and I had been hanging out more, and Suzy wanted to see Erick. The concert's great, and I get to see Oceanna there. Olivia is also there, and I feel a little weird as I just been digging through old memories for a class project. My only complaint is that it could've been longer. After the show, Alex, Katherine and I go back to my house. Suzy and Erick are waiting there. Suzy, already horribly clinging, should've known better than to pressure Erick into hanging out with us. They hung out all day, I'm pretty sure Erick wants to just go home, but Suzy drags him in. It's awkward. After Alex and Erick finally leave, its alright. Saturday, we don't do much. Though I can tell Suzy is still super worried over being clingy, which just in turn makes her clingy and annoying. when Alex and Erick come over, it really isn't much fun. It was easy to see Erick was going to give up on Suzy.
That brings us to the present pretty much. Erick breaks it off with Suzy. Then everyone's all mopey, well just Katherine, Suzy and I. I can't shake Megan from my thoughts much, and that's my reason for being all discontent. Also the fact that I'm doing this project on past relationships I've had, got me feeling bad about Olivia. It also gave me insight into how fucking stupid I was when I liked Oceanna. With Kd, I've just felt uncertainty. I can see see my problems pretty clearly, but I can't ever really take them face on.
All I ever get is sad love, always falling for the ones who feel nothing for me. Sometimes I think I should just forget about love.
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