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| Signed up: |
6 years ago (9/07/05)
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Last signed in:
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3 years ago
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Total time online:
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11d 16h 55m
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25 year-old male from Houghton, MI
If you would like to complain about something I've said or done, click here
Look At Me!
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The Ant and the Grasshopper
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter The
grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible
MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering
heat all summer long, building his house and laying
up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the
ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How
can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this
poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the
grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing,
"It's Not Easy Being Green." ; Jesse Jackson stages a
demonstration in front of the ant's house where the
news stations film the group singing, "We shall
overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to
pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Ted Kennedy &
John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike
on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally,
the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning
of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a
proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home
is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
the case is tried before a panel of federal judges
that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's
old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident
and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang
of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't Vote Democrat
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| Awards | | | | The Goods | | | Name |
Matt | | Occupation |
Student at Michigan Technological Univ. | | Birthday |
March 25th, 1987 | | Interests |
Snowboarding Broomball Computer Programming (don't worry I'm not a hardcore CS major or anything) Red vs. Blue Hanging out with friends and stuff. | | Gamertag |
| | THE_XEROX'S... | | | Music |
I listen to most anything save opera and some country music.
My favorite bands are System of a Down KoRn Godsmack Audioslave Evanescence Apocalyptica and such. | | Movies |
The Jackal Equilibrium Formula 51 The Chronicals of Riddik Triple-X Troy Fight Club A Man Apart Men In Black 1 & 2 Not Another Teen Movie and many others | | TV Shows |
Simpsons Southpark Futurama CSI The Showbiz Show | | Books |
Tom Clancy's books The Lord Of The Rings The Day Of The Jackal The Left Behind Series |
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