I have no idea why I decide to write these journals at close to 3am in the morning. Maybe because I feel like I'm more honest at this time of night. So after my adventures last year I felt a bit goalless these past few months. So I put all my efforts into finishing my other degree this year aiming for some merits this time. I think I have the most weirdest transcript anybody will see I pretty much have all the rating scale above the pass. My best ones being in the most difficult subjects in my course and the worst ones being on the easiest. I have no idea why I do badly on the easiest courses but meh I got all of them now.
But 2 days from my exam I probably regret putting all my most difficult courses all in one semester. I'm doing alright so far but I've been out of the job market for quite sometime and it's taking a toll on my existing finances. My main reason was to do well in school with merits so that it is easier for me to get a placement. Plus since the state I live in is doing so badly right now and I have no intention of leaving I could probably stick around and do an Honors Degree. But now all these 3 commerce exams will make or break my future, I have no idea where it's heading. Off course I didn't come unprepared I probably haven't left the house for the last 2weeks. Also haven't interacted with anyone outside my household, this is actually my first post in 2weeks and here in almost 3months.
Now to keep this short because I don't want this to be a gaping wall of text. There are 3 possible outcomes this week. If I get my merits, I won't have any trouble getting an acceptance in an Honors program. If that happens I already have a research topic in mind and it relates to us here online. If I do it right might even be the first academic article (I may have already been beaten to it though). But the question will then become should I stay in school for another year? I've already been stuck here for the past 3.5 not sure about a 5th. Now If I don't get my merits I know the whole Honors program will be out the table for me, but then I would be force to look for a placement immediately. Finally if I just pass this exam or fail it (considering all my courses has a 50% failure rate) then I will be forced back to the job market even though I really don't want to work somewhere that's not have an even remote relation to my area of study.
So that's all my conundrum facing me tonight, I should probably sleep and I'll be surprise if people actually read my bitching here at RT lolz.