- having to think about things that could change/influence my life.
I'm not stressed, you're stressed!
Okay, I'm stressed.
1 year agoBeepBep
“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.”
For some reason, I think about passions a lot. I think about the driving, intense desire to do something in the world - but what? Who knows? That’s the million dollar question. I know the feeling all too well; like a guttural ache that won’t go away. Each time I glance toward it, it beats in my ear the same question over and over again: “But what? But what? But what?”
It’s alright not to have the answer. There’s plenty of life left to search and explore.
At the very least, I'm fortunate enough to say I feel passionate about so many things. (Too many things?) I throw myself into projects and ideas like tossing paper in the air - many drift away, untouched and unresolved. Some, however, I pursue longer. I follow their paths until I have created something I can be proud of.
But (and there always seems to be a but) I want to do more. I need to do more.
The aching, gnawing, lasting feeling in my gut returns constantly and asks again, “But what?”
I have no idea. I want to leave some mark on the world. I want to do something that has an impact.
I want to be every bit of me that’s possible. I want to dream and then do. I want to accomplish. Hell, I even want to fail if it leads toward success. I want to experience. Grow. Learn.
So far I’ve filled my plate with:
-A half finished novel
-A desire to play music again
-A desire to sketch portraits for commission
-A desire to organize more charity-related themes
-A desire to work on the group’s YT and other social media outlets
-A desire to create a short series on that YT channel
-A desire for business - a company - a something!
-A desire for language
-A desire for education
Yet with every new idea, a new passion is born. I’m carrying them all like a bundle of flowers, determined not to let them die and intent on offering them to the world. Worse (or perhaps not worse - could it be good? Who knows?), I hand out bundles for others to hold in hopes that with more people, more can be accomplished.
The dreams get bigger, the ideas flourish - “Yes!” my brain yells, “Yes, this is perfect!” At the same time, I have to be careful: others may not share my passions the same way. Even if I can talk about projects for hours and discuss new ideas, others may not be keen to do so.
Even so, I have fallen in love with my passions and find myself infatuated with the idea of the unknown. Future prospects. Ambitions.
I’m not even sure where to begin when it comes to any of this. There are multiple starting points; multiple goals.
Gah. Maybe I’m rambling.
Maybe I’m in my head too much.
I just want to do something.
But as always, at the end of the day,
Be happy. Be healthy. Be safe.
2 years agoBeepBep
2 years agoBeepBep
So I have about half an hour before I need to do a homework assignment and I figured, hey, why not make a journal post? It's been a while. I always hesitate before writing these out but I can't deny how cathartic it can be. Since this mush has been going through my mind for a week, I figure it's okay to type it all out (<-- the strange process I have to go through for no reason at all).
Life has been exhausting lately. Not necessarily in a bad way, either. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. I'm in my last semester and graduation feels like it's coming up quickly. Do I know what I'm going to do after that? Not a clue! And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with taking time to figure out what you want to do - so that's not a concern of mine. It's a bit intimidating, but hey, a great learning experience!
With my major, we have the opportunity to take an internship during our senior year. I worked hard to do so and managed to be accepted! Woot! I've been working at an amazing center nearby that helps people deal with loss. It's mainly targeted toward younger folks (17 and younger) but there are caregiver groups that go on at the same time, too. It's an amazing place. Colorful, bright, cheerful, uplifting - you walk in there and feel like you're in a different world. The staff is incredible, too. They're all very positive and dedicated to their work.
...Plus they're like suuuuper organized and keep a ton of binders around.
Oh yes. Binders. It's lovely.
This sounds strange, I'm sure, but the internship has made me realize how much I love the world of grieving. ...Okay yeah, yeah that did sound strange. Let me rephrase (although that's hard - I'm not sure how to phrase this!). I love helping people. I love connecting with them. I love listening to them. I don't really want to counsel people. I don't want to tell them what to do. I just want to be there for them.
That's what I like about the world of grieving in terms of psychology. This type of healing fits with everything I love to do. When I walk into my internship and sit down with young people who have experienced grief....it sounds sad. It sounds depressing. When someone twenty years younger than you looks you in the eye and tells you someone they loved is dead - well, that takes you back, ya' know? And they've all lost someone - mother, father, sibling, extended family, friend, grandparent - sometimes more than one. Sometimes they saw it happen. Sometimes it took a day. Sometimes it took years. Sometimes it was illness. Sometimes it was murder.
You'd think it'd be a heavy place but it's not. It's....empowering. The people who come here are looking for support and they're met with waves of it. It's the type of place that when you walk in, you just want to share everything you've ever kept secret. You feel as though you're safe. As though everything might just be okay with time because you aren't alone.
It's amazing, honesty. And watching people become open and have their walls break down? Like I said, it's empowering. I leave there each time and look forward to going back. What I do - listening, sitting with people, and just being honest about life and feelings - it's pretty small and simple yet it makes a difference. A small and simple one, but hey, a difference all the same. It certainly changes my perspective on life.
Which is why the other parts of my life are a bit frustrating right now. Currently, I work at my internship from 10:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. on Tuesdays and then on Thursdays from varying times. When I'm there, I'm constantly on - it's nuts. Wonderful, but nuts. Then twice a week, I'm at work and up at six in the morning and not home until seven/5:30 p.m. On top of that, I took on a leadership role with some psychology luncheons and am still the treasurer in a club on campus. (A club which is infuriating me, to be honest, but that's a whole different thing) I'm working on the GGG trip (so much fun, by the way, super excited), and there's a PC competition I'd love to introduce soon. And Youtube! And homework!
It's a lot of stuff to keep up with and honestly, I don't mind any of it. What I DO mind are the petty moments. Asking for help with cleaning something and being met with a snarky remark. Asking for more time or patience from people and being met with passive aggressiveness or snide remarks. Listening to people argue about things that they'll forget about tomorrow.
The list goes on and on.
It wears on me. That list. It can be exhausting in a different sort of way. I think it's because I've talked with people who have had their entire lives flipped upside down. We do a lot of silly things in life - mainly because we don't think about the bad that could happen. We don't think that if we argue with someone, it could be the last time we talk to them. Or that helping someone else might truly make their day. We're human - this is natural.
But I know that my internship has taught me to pay more attention to it. I get...frustrated when other people don't, you know? Life is so short and we don't know what might happen - stop being so frustrating and live while you can! Live the best you can! Don't be petty! Don't be passive! Be you and be the best you! Be healthy! Work toward something great - something that drives you and fills you with passion!
(Is what I would say to the list, that is)
All in all, I think I'm ranting because in the midst of my schedule, I'm experiencing some pettiness and have to remind myself of two things:
1. I can and should be the bigger person. Even if I don't want to be. I still will be.
2. Life is short and it's disappointing when stuff like this arises. I don't want to deal with it because it's petty and a waste of energy.
There's my rant. I feel better. It's off my chest.
Now it's time for homework then more internship~
Be happy, be healthy, be safe.
2 years agoBeepBep
to continue the growth of a character's design concept. :] Pretty content with her pattern~!
p.s. she's a neat lil' gnome~ :D
p.p.s if you cover each half of the last one's face, you'll see (hopefully lol it was a trial I suppose) each emotion :3 that was an interesting experiment
3 years agoBeepBep
3 years agoBeepBep
So I have a GGG Event in the works! I think it's going to be a ton of fun! Don't worry, you'll see more about it in another month~ :]
Until then, the event is going to need......Commercials! Yeah, that's right. Commercials. Don't ask questions - just embrace it!
I thought it would be fun to allow members to create their own commercials and send them in! What will your commercial be used for? Well, a commercial break obviously. A commercial break from what? You'll have to find out!
So if you're feeling creative, feel free to start making and sending them to me! They can be whatever you want!
All I ask is that the language in them is somewhat decent - this commercial WILL be shown on Twitch, so keep that in mind - and is anywhere from 30 seconds to 1 minute long. You can create as many as you like and send them in whenever - there's plenty of time and no rush on these since the event hasn't been scheduled in~!
Have fuuuuuun~! :D
3 years agoBeepBep
Hey guys! So the GGG is currently doing their 24 hour Extra Life stream! So far, we've raised $352! It's exciting and we're feeling good!
If you're interested in watching the stream, check out the twitch here! http://www.twitch.tv/officialgoodguygamers
Donate to the group here! http://www.extra-life.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=don...
But wait! We're doing three raffles!
WIN SHADOW OF MORDOR!! How? Before 12 AM EST, donate $5 or more on the Extra Life link! Add #GGG to your comment and make sure we have a way to contact you if you win! This raffle will be completed at 12 AM EST! You can enter multiple times to up your chances as long as you include the hashtag and donate $5 or more!
WIN ROCKET LEAGUE! How? This works exactly the same way as the Shadow of Mordor raffle EXCEPT it ends at 8 AM EST on November 15! So make sure that AFTER 12 AM EST, you start to donate $5 or more with #GGG!
WIN FALL OUT 4!! How? THIS RAFFLE WILL ONLY WORK IF THE GGG TEAM (the whole team - including any participants in the team) REACHES THEIR $500 GOAL. Starting at 12 AM EST, donate $15 or more until 8 AM EST November 15! Then, at 8 AM EST, we're going to do both the Rocket League and Fall Out 4 drawing! If you donate $15 or more (multiple times = okay) and include #GGG15 (NOT #GGG - THESE ARE TWO DIFFERENT RAFFLES) then you'll be entered to win Fall Out 4!
Remember, these are different raffles - #GGG and #GGG15 are different!
Shadow of Mordor will be drawn at 12 AM EST
Rocket League will be drawn at 8 AM EST (Nov. 15)
Fall Out 4 - if we make our goal - will be drawn at 8 AM EST (Nov 15)
We appreciate any donations and it means a lot! :] This is a great cause!
3 years agoBeepBep
It's time for the 2015 GGG Extra Life 24 hour stream!
Watch the stream here: http://www.twitch.tv/officialgoodguygamers
Donate to this awesome cause here: http://www.extra-life.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=don...
3 years agoBeepBep
For the GGG, that is! Hype, hype, hype! Tell your friends, tell your family - tell the world!!
And check out this post for all the links you may need! All the information! Participants, read what I've written! Watchers and participants, stay healthy!
We're gonna have a great time. :]
Ladies of Rooster Teeth
Artists for commission
Rooster Teeth Pun Society
Rooster Teeth Is Fashionable
It's a thing.
It's also a thing.
This album is dedicated to the absolute love of my life.
Just a couple of pictures 'cause cool :3