8 months ago...
Seems like a long time since I wrote a post in this website. Do people even read these anymore? I know I rarely do. But again, I'm just one person.
A lot has happened in 8 months. Good and bad. I guess this is the portion where I go on and start writing what I've been up to these past 8 months. I guess I'll cover some of it.
Some of the "bad news" is silly. A couple of months ago, the Let's Play communtiy channel went on "hiatus." A lot of us LPC members think it's dead but I still keep it at its word on being in hiatus. I'm gullible that way. It stinks that something I've done for 2 plus years, that helped me to meet some of the friends I have now, is no longer around. I did probably what everyone thought. "I'll run the channel! I'll make it even better!" Makes me laugh when I hear that. Me and those other people that thought it are dumb. Although I know it wasn't easy and not popular, @TrevorC made the right decision. I'm confident though it'll come back one day. Not sure when, but it'll happen.
Some of the bad news was a bit heartbreaking and changed me. Never spoken about this to anyone but my dog died a couple months ago. He got to close to the fence and the neighbors dog grabbed him and pulled him through and just mauled him. My mom took it so rough. I've never seen her cry so much. I remember when she called us (my brother and sister were there too) and the vet said he couldn't guarantee the dogs survival if they did a surgery. He lost all feelings in his leg. And there was a hole in his body that you can see his insides. I made the uncomfortable decision to tell my mom to put him down. It was the most uncomfortable decision I ever told her. And to see her come back just in tears broke me. Those nights of tears were something I never wanted to see from her again.
It broke me a lot. I felt like told my mom to kill the dog. I know it was the right decision now and my mom would agree, but it hurt me to say it and do it. Made me cynical. Cold. The Arctic wouldn't have anything on me. Yet over time, as my mom got better, I got better. Seeing her smile more and more as the weeks went on made me feel better. Now she's her usual self. But I know deep down knowing her dog is gone bothers her. Especially how he was gone.
Or what about my grandmother? Oh man, that would be a separate post. She practically raised me. My mom was a single mother raising us. Father was in jail and my grandmother would always take care of us. Mon-Fri. Pick us up from school, feed us, disciplined us, love us. Everything. Years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She'll ask the same questions every 10 minutes, forget to eat, curse out my mom and uncle (rare but still happens), or now she's been wandering around where she lives in 3 in the morning. You want to do so much but you end up being powerless.
And as someone who believes in God so much, I know the scriptures, I know what the Bible says about God always being with you. Yet despite that, seeing what my grandmother goes through makes it hard for me at times to believe it. It's a really a test of faith with me.
However, despite all that, I can honestly still thank Him for so much. It gives me appreciation for the people in my life. Makes me appreciate everything that my grandmother has done for me. She took care of me when I was young. I can return the favor. Maybe in not the circumstances I want it, but I can show her my love by being there for her. And one day, I want to have an Alzheimer's foundation I her honor. (I'm not sure how but I'm gonna try) And even though me and my mom shared tears the night our dog was killed, it brought us closer. I really do believe that. It's weird finding the good in the bad. It may not be obvious but it's there.
But there's plenty of good that's happened to me as well. After the LPC went down, @aclarkislost ask me to join The Lone Few and I'm loving every minute of it. Started a dumb series with @ghostsol and we're having a blast. Got to hang out with everyone at RTX again. Seeing my friends from this channel made me ecstatic.(BTW: My boy, @Riles is a contestant in Tuesday's Night Game Fight and I'm happy for him. His team, AH, is 1-0 btw. Cheer for him!). I also went to the MLB All Star game and home run Derby. Even saw @TylerC at the airport on the way to Miami. (Although my social awkwardness couldn't make say hi... I think I stared at him creepily lol)
And there's so much small things that's happened that I'm very thankful for. Despite the bad, the heartbreak, and the pain. It assures me that God is always here for me through the good and bad. He gives and takes way, but my heart will always say Blesses be His Name (Job for all you Bible Scholars). Be encouraged guys. A lot can happen in 8 months. Good and bad. But remember to keep on going. Life is too good view the bad.
Oh! There's one more piece of good news I got today. I'm gonna be a uncle for the second time! My sister is 1 month pregnant and I can't wait to meet my new nephew or niece.
8 months from now...