DasDesertFox

Male
from Big Rapids, MI

    • DasDesertFox

      Cinematographized

      5 years ago

      The new RvB episode...fantastic. Standing ovation for RT.

    • DasDesertFox

      Why don't we get drunk and screw?

      5 years ago

      Really, I want some legitimate reasons.

    • DasDesertFox

      Well Hot Damn!

      5 years ago

      It's been a crazy couple of years since I last snooped around on here, but I suppose it's time I jumped back in the mess.
      What's shakin', bacon?

    • DasDesertFox

      Good Juju

      8 years ago

      So, KUFan61 had an excellent idea--apply the pay-it-forward principles to your journal. The first 6 people to comment will get 3 mods from me; all you have to do is continue the idea in your own journal. Pretty sweet, huh? Don't even bother asking yourself that question, because I'll answer for you. Yes, it is pretty sweet. Get the karma a-churnin' and whatnot.

    • DasDesertFox

      Pong: The Backstory

      8 years ago

      I wrote a backstory to the classic arcade game PONG, because I believe that this fantastic game should not have to go any longer without a plot. That, and I'm freaking awesome. Enjoy.

      One day, you are out walking around, and trying to chew gum at the same time. It isn't working out so well. "Darn," you think, "I wish I had better coordination." Suddenly, you happen upon a strange old hermit wearing the most unmatching array of rags you have ever laid eyes on. Even stranger, his mouth is completely filled up with what look to be white jawbreakers, and he is making a face that seems to suggest he was eating half-chewed rotten lemons covered in sunblock and Tabasco sauce, soaked in a fairly strong mixture of Drain-O, Crisco, and mercury, and wrapped in clean newspaper. That's what it looks like, anyway. This is quite puzzling to you, and though you wouldn't usually talk to someone as obviously crazy as he is, something beyond mere curiosity compells you to ask who he is and what he's doing. Just as the words are forming on your lips, however, he turns to you with a look as though he knew exactly what you were going to say. "These," he says (with considerable difficulty I might add, being that it is quite a challenge to pronounce one's S's with a mouth full of jawbreakers), "are the foulest, nastiest tasting jawbreakers ever known to man, and they never get any smaller." Naturally, you ask why on Earth he would ever want to put them in his mouth. He counters with a quick "That's what she said!" and begins his story. "I was once a great King, in a beautiful land far away from here. I had everything I could ever want, but I was lacking in one respect: good taste. I had many advisers who would try to tell me how to dress, but I never listened to them. Now, not a day goes by that I don't regret that decision." He pauses for a moment to compose himself, then continues. "One day while I was out walking, I came across a white brick in the middle of the road. It spoke to me, asking if I would be kind enough to put it back in it's place on the white wall next to the road. Instead of complying, I chose to mismatch it and put it on the black wall on the other side of the path. It put a curse on me right there." The man proceeds to talk in a ridiculously high falsetto, apparently attempting to imitate the brick's voice. "'As you have banished me, so will you be banished! For your transgression of bad taste, you will from this day forth experience what it is like to endure your mismatching socks, clashing colors, and ungodly combinations of vertical and horizontal stripes. You will forever taste the sensation of your own bad taste that you have so wrecklessly forced upon others!'" "Wow," you think to yourself, "I can't begin to fathom how bad bad taste would taste." You stop for a moment to consider whether that sentence makes sense, and finding it satisfactory, continue listening. "To this day I have been poor and friendless, banished from returning to my kingdom until I am free of this burden." This is of course the strangest story you have ever heard, but something tells you that this man is telling a very sad truth. You ask how you can help. "Well, whenever I try to spit one of these foul concoctions out, that white brick appears and hits it right back into my mouth--no matter how I try, I never seem to block it fast enough. If you would block them for me, I would be released from the curse and be able to return to my kingdom once more." Naturally, you want to look out for old #1, so you ask what's in it for you. "I'll be your best friend," he tells you. You say why not, because let's face it, who wouldn't want a King for their best friend? Besides, if you can do this, surely you'll be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. He counts down from 11 (you don't bother to ask why), spits out the first of the unsavory spheres, and the challenge ensues!

    • DasDesertFox

      I'm back, I slack, get used to it!

      9 years ago

      I'm back...with a vengeance. Well, not really, but that expression is awesome, yes? Yes. I've been away on safari so long, but at long last I have returned. And pictures! Oh boy, do I have pictures. Please, feel free to look around, but don't touch anything! You break it, you buy it. So. Way too much has happened in my life to put any of it here now, but I'll fill y'all in as we go along. So eat, drink, and be merry; your fearless leader has returned! And if I wasn't your fearless leader before...fuck you. If you're not with me you're against me. Except for your mom; she was with me and I was against her...
      Long story short: (Your name here), I am your father, muahaha, join me on the dark side, blah blah blah, rule the universe, et cetera.
      Moving on!
      I have 100 modpoints...how shall I ever use them all, friends? Be creative.
      That is all for now. Cheers!
      --Fox

    • DasDesertFox

      It's been a while...

      9 years ago

      Since I've really been on here. I've been checking up every now and again, but I haven't really done much more than that. Never fear, for I shall return! And when I get back...
      I currently have 95 mod points, and I feel selfish for having had them for so long. Comment with ideas on how/why I should get rid of them, and I'll choose my (and perhaps your?) fate when I get back on here in the Summer. Until then, tallyho!
      -Fox

    • DasDesertFox

      Burn, Baby, Burn...Insult Inferno!

      9 years ago

      You won't get the title if you haven't heard the song. Anyway, I came up with what I consider to be a better than average paragraph of derision, and I'd like to share it with y'all!
      I think you're wrong about everything because your parents taught you wrong on purpose as a joke. Every moral you hold dear is the epitome of evil, and every fact of life that guides your judgement is complete and utter bullshit. Your meager existence is nothing but an elaborate sham, and the more you struggle to free yourself from the web of stupidity you have so adeptly woven around your hideously twisted and misshapen form, the closer you draw to the ultimate failure in life--unsuccessful suicide attempts. You are vile and disgusting, and I wish you would go drink Drain-O and play in traffic. You ride the short bus, and the rest of the tards call you a tard. If you were a country, even France could make you their bitch. If you were a city, it would be post-WWII Hiroshima. If you were a car, you'd be at the bottom of a lake. You smell like Satan took a crap, ate it, and took a crap again in a Port-O-Let in hell. Stone turns to stone when it looks at you, vomit vomits at the thought of you, and AIDS is afraid it will catch you.
      *Zing!*

    • DasDesertFox

      I don't know...

      9 years ago

      ...what the hell I'm doing. Just thought I'd share that.

  • About Me

    If you avoid drama and overboard political correctness, it don't matter who you are, we'll probably get along.
    One big thing about me is my love for music...I consider it to be a language of its own, and I've always got one song or another running through my head.
    I don't smoke much, but a good cigar goes very well with a good drink, and both go very well with an ocean breeze.
    Above all, I value honesty, inner beauty, and good times, so...word.

    Open AllClose All

  • Comments (64)

    • Shaysie_fae

      Shaysie_fae

      8 years ago

      Wow, so i most definately havent been on in months and i wanted to say Hey! and sorry for the months of neglect lol.

    • Mortikie

      Mortikie

      8 years ago

      Merry Christmas

    • Mortikie

      Mortikie

      8 years ago

      Merry Christmas my good friend.

      PS Do you have AIM?

    • Oirazan

      Oirazan

      8 years ago

      Hello friend,

      damonkie has started the second round of voting and I need your help. PLEASE vote for me so that I may be sponsored! This time I am giving away a mod to every person that votes for me as well as an additional mod point to everyone if I win. So go vote for you favorite Asian and be sure to tell all your friends! Thanks!

      -Dave c('.'c)

    • Oirazan

      Oirazan

      8 years ago

      Vote for me on Monday, November 27 in damonkie's journal so he can sponsor me! Consider it a donation to the "Save the Dave" foundation! Thanks!

    • The3Blues

      The3Blues

      8 years ago

      Make sure you tell because I don't want some random person that will just be eliminated in the first round

    • The3Blues

      The3Blues

      8 years ago

      Contest smiley8.gifsmiley8.gif my journal smiley8.gifsmiley8.gif

    • jmbishop

      jmbishop

      8 years ago

      rvb.roosterteeth.com/members/profile.php?uid=314511
      this guy is a loser he needs friends and comments

    • KingOfLemurs

      KingOfLemurs

      8 years ago

      010114518354500.gif

    • KingOfLemurs

      KingOfLemurs

      8 years ago

      hey buddy