Disz

Male
from Austin, TX

  • Activity

    • Testing some grindhouseesque effects and buying Cargobobs in GTA V

      3 years ago

      Disz

      So I've been playing GTA V off and on with some friends since it came out and we were starting to get up into levels where the Cargobob stopped spawning for us reliably. Now we love helicopters, the Cragobob especially, so needless to say we were displeased with this turn of events.

      Our dreams were being shattered, the world was ending, fire and brimstone was raining from the skies, rivers and seas were boiling, human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! I began drinking heavily, shooting off flares, cursing the heavens, you know, man shit!

      Then the lord above heard my cries of dismay and sent unto me an angel in the form of John (whose gamer tag I forget dammit) a random dude who didn't blow my head off the second he saw me and was actually an all around pretty cool guy who calmly told me to chill my shit, you can actually buy that helicopter legit, you just need the web address.

      So knowing my friends and my skills at being able to explain things, I decided it would be easier to make a video showing them how to do it rather than try to talk them through it from thousands of miles away. Then I got the brilliant idea to start messing with different effects and styles for something extra to add to the video that really has nothing to do with the tutorial I had planned.

      Which then turned a video that would have taken me an hour to do into a week long project as I went about trying to get this stupid extra thing I was determined to do looking how I wanted it too. Although that is the original reason I was doing these videos in the first place. To try and learn new things and hone the skills further, so mission accomplished.

      I'm mostly happy with how the old timey 70's'ish part turned out. Less so with the actual explanation bit that was the real reason I made this video at the start. Who cares, I had fun with it, which is the importat thing.

      oh right.... you probably want to check it out after dealing with my ramblings and poor grammar (screw you tenses!) Here you go.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvgZ4CrOgq8

    • Stupid Customers and Grading Fight Scenes.

      4 years ago

      Disz

      I would just like to preface this story by saying it is not mine. I have never worked at Blockbuster. This story belongs to a friend of mine I served in the army with named Eric Spratling. He's a great guy and has a website... blog thingy... called Grading Fight Scenes. It's humorous and relatively insightful as he walks you through the fight scenes of a long list of movies that is constantly expanding. Check it out. gradingfightscenes.com/

      Now onto the unrelated matter at hand. This is his story of a customer he once encountered while working at Blockbuster Video. For you young'uns out there, in days of yore, before one could simply download any movie they wanted at anytime there were Video Stores where one could trade legal tender to borrow a video game or movie from a limited selection of films for a brief period of time. Blockbuster Video was arguably the king of this particular scene.

      So without further ado, here is his story, pretty much verbatim.

      It was a horribly busy night, I believe a weekend. Just an endless line of customers for hours on end. My feet were aching and I was beaten down emotionally.

      Up comes a normal-seeming woman around early middle-age. As she checks out her new rentals she also returns her previous ones. She says quietly & calmly, "I want you to know that there are pornos on there."

      I look down at the two returns. They're GameCube video games. I check inside the boxes and the discs are correct. "... what?" I say. "They played porn videos on your GameCube?"

      "No, we tried putting them on our neighbor's computer, and porn came up. On both of them."

      My brain started doing huge calculations on high speed. She was almost certainly not lying; if she was, she deserved an Oscar. No, she really THINKS she's telling the truth, so that's wildly more complicated.

      For those of you who don't know, the GameCube did not play traditional discs the size of CDs or DVDs, it played special mini-discs. So not only would there be no reason to try to play one in a computer's CD-ROM (just as there would be no point in doing so with an Xbox or Playstation disc), it also wouldn't physically FIT in the tray. This is totally bonkers.

      (Someone told me later than GC discs also spin in a different direction than CDs do, so that's one more reason this story is ridiculous. Don't know if that's true though.)

      What really happened in the story became immediately clear to me. When they went to use their neighbor's computer to play GameCube games (again, for reasons unfathomable), he had accidentally left pornography open on his computer; when they spotted the porn, he blamed it on the games. AND THEY WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE HIM.

      It gets even weirder when you consider the probability of her story being true. I can imagine someone (again, outside of the why-did-you-even-try-that context of putting GameCube games in a computer) believing that there was someone devious enough at Nintendo or one of its many game-designers who would sneak into an almost-completed game (either a few random copies or an entire production run) and insert porn that would automatically start playing if the disc was (FOR SOME REASON) put in a computer's CD-ROM-- you know, kind of like the rogue animator who spliced in a nudie scene in the background of The Rescuers. Unlikely, but possible.

      But this was two *different* games, and she said they BOTH had porn; the implications of which were mind-boggling. What were the odds of the aforementioned rogue porn-splicing being done not just to two different games, but two different games that this woman just. Happened. To. Rent?! If her story were really true, she would have been the beneficiary of some universe-defying randomness, or else this "secret" porn splicing was widespread & systematic and nearly EVERY GameCube game had hidden porn on it.

      All this flashed through my head in several seconds, and though I tried at first to fumble through a few probing questions and getting her to see all the ways this story made no sense, I quickly realized that getting her to see reason was completely impossible. There were at least three things in her story, any one of which on its own would have been epically stupid, but all three of them together was like winning the Stupid Lottery. All the stupid stars had aligned to make this woman come to me with this story. I was dealing with stupidity on a cosmic scale. She was *invincibly* dumb.

      Staring at this woman, in the middle of a brutal shift with an ever-growing line of customers behind her... well, I can think of very few instances in my life where I have wanted to be ANY place else than the place I was right at that moment. I felt less dread when terrorists were firing rockets at our COB in Iraq. I was staring into the dead, endless eyes of Cthulhu.

      I mumbled something about how we'd "look into it" and completed her transaction. My life was never again the same.

    • GTA:O - FYI Soldiers do not like having their photos taken.

      4 years ago

      Disz

      So I've been messing around in GTA online with a couple of friends of mine and I started cutting some videos together for them but I thought others might appreciate this little gem.

      Things seemed to be going ok and then I apparently got a star and the soldier drew down on me. Unbeknownst to me, taking a photo of a soldier will get you shotgunned in the face. You can check it out if you want.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr7Zz0wxZX0&featu...

    • 4 years ago

      Disz
    • Just some handy trivia.

      4 years ago

      Disz

      Things you should Know, by a parent. (Not me)

      1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
      2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

      2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

      3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

      4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

      5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

      6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

      7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh oh," it's already too late.

      8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

      9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 30-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

      10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

      11. Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

      12. Superglue is forever.

      13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

      14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

      15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

      16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

      17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

      18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

      19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

      20. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

      21. The nearest fire department has a 5-minute response time to my house.

      22. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

      23. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

      24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

    • How to give more than 100%

      5 years ago

      Disz

      I don't remember where I got this or who originated it but Gus talking about someone saying give more than 100% on the podcast got me to dig it up.

      What Makes 100%?

      What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

      ... Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

      How about achieving 103%?

      But what makes up 100% in life?

      Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

      If:
      A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
      Are represented as:
      1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

      Then:

      H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
      8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

      And

      K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
      11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

      But ,

      A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
      1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

      And,

      B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
      2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

      AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

      A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
      1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

      So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

    • Up to something

      5 years ago

      Disz

      So my cousin and some friends from his building got together to help one of them with a music video. I have to say it was pretty damn good. My cousin didn't want his face shown though so they put him in a bunny mask. The song is pretty cool though. Check out this poker game gone wrong with some shady characters.

      Shotgun Honeymoon - Up to Something.
      www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbr__K7iVss&list=PL9BE17E3BE06A65B2&context=C37eba22ADOEgsToPDskJvrHjZa8phMOqIHfmtbZQ5

    • SWTOR Server is here

      in Forums > SWTOR Server is here | Follow this topic

      Disz

      Well according to the Guild page at www.swtor.com/guilds/6305/drunk-tanks

      the server our guild will be on is

      drumroll please...

      The Shadowlands.

      Edit: Ofcourse at the moment the TOR website is having a heart attack so you may have trouble with the link.

      Post edited 12/12/11 12:04PM

      25 replies

    • So many unfinished RPGs.

      5 years ago

      Disz

      I should probably get off my ass on some of these. Skyrim was released last month and I haven't even touched it yet and probably won't for a very long time. Not because I think it will be bad or anything I'm just terrible when it comes to finishing RPGs for some reason. I should probably get around to completing at least the main stories.

      I have yet to finish Oblivion and I've had that for... I don't even remember how long. I guess to be fair on that one I did get deployed to Iraq and it sort of fell by the wayside. However I did manage to complete Mass Effect while deployed so I dunno. I mean seriously though from what I understand I am at most like 1 hour from finishing the main story.

      The problem doesn't start there though. If I think back I don't think I ever finished Knights of the Old Republic 2, Fallout 2 or a Bard's Tale either. I really loved those games but never did complete them.

      Fallout 3... yea I probably made it about halfway through, I don't even know why I stopped playing it I was really enjoying it. Oh yea. Call of Duty: World at War came out and my friends distracted me with Zombies.

      Fallout New Vegas... still haven't gotten very far at all in that. Though that is probably because I wound up picking up Dragon Age II.

      Which brings me to Dragon Age II. Which I also haven't gotten around to finishing I have no idea why. I was enjoying it, got to the final act and then stopped. playing it.

      I think I have RPG commitment issues. Unless it's a Mass Effect game for some reason nothing stops me from playing through those. Of Course with Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic coming out I will most likely never get around to finishing any of those but hey, the important thing is that I recognize I have a problem.

    • RTX is over

      6 years ago

      Disz

      Finally got home from RTX. On the one hand I'm sorry it's over and on the other hand I'm glad I can finally get some rest. This weekend rocked. Everyone there from the Staff to the fans were just awesome. I am definitely going to pencil in RTX on my schedule next year.

  • Comments (73)

    • scottster246 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      3 years ago

      Happy valentines day chap

      v_day_disz_by_nnn4462-d76capx.jpg

      • scottster246 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        3 years ago

        Glad you like it, you dancing is still one of my favourite gifs

      • Disz

        3 years ago

        This is amazing, I can't thank you enough Scott. Awesome stuff.

    • DlNGO

      3 years ago

      Are you like a real life fps hero?

    • Tuuli

      4 years ago

      Happy FU Sir!!!!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks Tuuli, good to see my fellow zombies still walking around.

    • Matty FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Student

      4 years ago

      I was trying to find your account after Brandon linked it in the chat before the episode aired. Anyway congratulations on featured user and good job on the Gauntlet!

      • Matty FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Student

        4 years ago

        You're welcome!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        No worries man, at least you found it, thanks!

    • JDunlap FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold The Dude

      4 years ago

      FU!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        You know it!

    • Kara FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Voice of Weiss in RWBY

      4 years ago

      Happy FU Day!!!!! Awesome job on the Gauntlet! smiley0.gif

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks Kara, I definitely had a blast on Gauntlet.

    • Nic_Pietron FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Arch-guy

      4 years ago

      Happy FU Day, loved the Handy Trivia!!!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks man, there are some good nuggets of wisdom in that trivia.

    • MattDavid FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 years ago

      You are the Dancing Queen. Merry FU.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thnaks man, watch that scene!

    • Dwillliam FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTXGUARDIAN

      4 years ago

      Foo!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Silly costumers Unite!

    • SailorTweek FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTX Head Guardian

      4 years ago

      Happy Featured user Day smiley13.gif

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks Tweek!

    • Crueldragon

      4 years ago

      man, for a skinny boy you still can truffle shuffle like no other

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Well somebody had to shake it.

    • ailsarocks FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Community Stylist

      4 years ago

      Woo! Happy FU day! Your dance on The Gauntlet was epic. smiley0.gif

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks, glad you liked it. All those years of ballet weren't wasted!

    • Bellzebob

      4 years ago

      Congrats on being Featured User!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks!

    • Caiti FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Velvet Scarlatina

      4 years ago

      FU DISZ. FU.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        no worries, I didn't get the FU comment initially,

      • Caiti FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Velvet Scarlatina

        4 years ago

        I get your joke on Twitter now.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Such hostility. Don't be hatin me because my sexy dance moves are sexier than yours.

    • imakuni1995

      4 years ago

      Awesome performance in the latest episode of The Gauntlet! Can't wait for the next episode after seeing that preview.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thank you so much, the next episode will just be a dance of between me and Joel.

    • xehanorto FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 years ago

      Loved you so much as Dr. Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik on the Gauntlet.

      • xehanorto FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        4 years ago

        Now, if they get you to say Pingas...well, I may die a happy man from a ring overload

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks a lot, I'm happy you liked it.

    • SenorDip

      4 years ago

      Saw you on the Gauntlet and thought you were Jacks dad.
      Woops.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        LOL, even though I'm a few months younger than Jack I'm going to take that as a complement on the beard. Thanks!

    • Wulfboi The DBAHdian Supreme

      4 years ago

      Sweet spot on the Gauntlet man, laughed my socks off seeing they used a Robotnik for the episode.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

    • SailorGirl81 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Keeper Of Kittens

      4 years ago

      Legato2d said to tell you you're fat. I think it was just his jealous arm talking.

      • LaserKraken The Lord of Meat

        4 years ago

        I'll never be enough!
        Anna.jpg

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Hey it's not my fault he refused to endure the diet of giant Chipotle burritos to bulk up for the part. Now his arm is jealous of how sexy I look in red. smiley0.gif

        Post edited 10/28/13 1:20AM

    • Blutonian FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Tech Guardian

      4 years ago

      The best Robotnik ever...


      of all time.

      • Blutonian FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Tech Guardian

        4 years ago

        Ha ha, I'm just worried that you won't be on our team next year because you'll be too busy posing for photos in your costume!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks brother, just putting all that RTX tech experience to good use.

    • qM3rcp FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Gilby Rangers

      4 years ago

      Community member Kutsop: So guys if ya know you just wanna from now on release that video of Doc Robotnic dancing at the end I'd be perfectly okay with that. Like even for RVB or the Lets Plays if ya wanna just go ahead and release that instead every week, that sounds like a good plan to me

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        I would be immensely surprised if someone hasn't already created a gif of that.

      • qM3rcp FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Gilby Rangers

        4 years ago

        I need a gif of you dancing and Ill post it everywhere telling how proud I am that I've learned how to shoot a gun with you XD

      • qM3rcp FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Gilby Rangers

        4 years ago

        dude...We need more of you in the videos

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        I'm so glad people got a kick out of that.

    • TomMozza15

      4 years ago

      You were awesome on The Gauntlet tonight, big fan of your work, I'm a SEGA gen guy! I'm sorry no one wanted your rings :/

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Crazy kids and their music.

      • TomMozza15

        4 years ago

        threw-it-on-the-ground.gif

      • TomMozza15

        4 years ago

        It's that darn Andrew Samburger, and this "popular" music! Corrupting this generation.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        It's crazy, when I don't want anyone taking rings they are stolen left and right. Give 'em away for free and people just throw them on the ground.

    • AdamJTurke

      4 years ago

      Shout out to Robotnick. smiley0.gif

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Good stuff, thanks!

    • voidfox FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold gay robot

      4 years ago

      hey, great job on tonight's episode of the gauntlet! you totally deserve an award for being a great robotnik.

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        You have no idea the crazy diet/workout routine I had to undergo to get the proper Robotnik physique but as long as people laugh that's reward enough for my suffering. smiley0.gif

    • tara

      4 years ago

      Shout out to Robotnick. smiley1.gif

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks, you're awesome

    • JackPlum

      4 years ago

      i must say you were a very convincing robotnik haha (sweet dance moves)

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Well I'm just glad all those slasa and jazz tap lessons weren't wasted.

    • greyjoy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 years ago

      Hey you were great on this week's episode!!

      • Disz

        4 years ago

        Thanks, just glad people enjoyed it.

    • Dwillliam FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold RTXGUARDIAN

      4 years ago

      Welcome to the Guardian's wearing weird suits for the internet club!

      • Blutonian FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Tech Guardian

        4 years ago

        That's an elite club indeed...

        I can only hope that one day my phone will ring and I'll get to play E. Honda

    • Blutonian FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Tech Guardian

      4 years ago

      Just saw you in the new RT Life video featuring Buddy the Burrito!

      That made my day!!!

    • Chris FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Yeah, thanks so much for all your help! Glad you had fun and hope to see you next year!

    • Tuuli

      6 years ago

      Yup! Got about two hrs of sleep before I had to catch my flight, and I had to work, so I haven't slept yet. XD I'm SO exhausted, but totally worth it!! It's so neat, even know reading everyone's blogs and seeing how everyone enjoyed themselves. Good vibes! Such a positive and inspiring time.

    • Tuuli

      6 years ago

      Was it not one of the greatest weekends ever? XD Make it home safe?

    • Disz

      6 years ago

      If you are reading this, you must be quite bored to have found your way here.

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