My baby sister has a home that Martha Stewart would envy. Every room is perfectly decorated to be cozy and welcoming. I visited this last weekend and her basement guestroom and bath were nicer than my entire house. My only complaint was that the only window to the room looked out into a window well that was filled only with dead leaves. I told her I would work on coming up with some nice way to decorate it and today sent her the following letter:
I was thinking maybe you could put a nativity scene into the guest room Window of Despair, but I’ve discovered that all outdoor nativity sets on the planet seem to be specifically designed to be as ugly as humanly possible. My theory is that it is some sort of test of faith. Surely only a “True Blue” devotee of Jesus et al. will put out a Nativity Set on their lawn despite the shame and humiliation of displaying something so ugly that Mother Teresa herself would want to convert to Islam upon viewing the abomination of yellowed plastic and/or rusted steel currently available.
Considering the rich tradition of Christian art over the last thousand years, I’m frankly disappointed in the human race for not being able to come up with something better. I’m going to have to think about the problem; surely there is a solution.
In the meantime, consider some of these charming and whimsical dioramas that might bring that touch of elegance to your guest room window:
1. A restful scene from a popular science fiction franchise:
2. Nothing says Christmas like a diorama of the Battle of Stalingrad. Who doesn’t love watching Nazi’s getting frostbite?
3. Why not celebrate delicious winter delicacies with a Donner Party scene?
4. Perhaps you’d like a politically-charged display warning of the dangers of climate change with scenes of our brave ancestors as they suffered through our most recent ice age:
5. Or why not show off your favorite fantasy-based TV show with this classy Game of Thrones: Direwolf winter scene?
6. …or just sell out to Big Candy with a Peep display:
Other winter-themed dioramas to consider:
“I can’t feel my feet!” Washington crosses the Potomac"
“Who needs potatoes? The Dutch Hunger 1944”
“I smell something burning! The 1851 Fire at the Library of Congress"
“Offsides are delicious! The 1972 Andes Soccer Team Plane Crash"
I hope this has given you inspiration for decorating. Merry Christmas!