Elnea FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

Female
from Illinois

  • Activity

    • Death to the laptops

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      So I see Gus is having a bad day, where everything is breaking. I totally can identify.

      Last night the power went out. So, that's annoying, right? So, the power went out. And the phones went out. It turns out, the internet and the cable were out too. Which bummed me out, because I missed the mid-season cliff-hangers for Stargate Atlantis and SG-1 and now have to buy them from iTunes. But, okay, not the end of the world.

      But when everything finally came back, we discovered a few things.

      First, my mom called to say she didn't have her laptop on a surge protector when the power went out. Now her computer won't turn on. I said maybe homeowner's insurance would cover it. She doesn't have homeowner's insurance.

      *slaps forehead*

      Second, my son had a new set of headphones sitting ON his computer keyboard this afternoon... the headphones had this really cool high power MAGNETIC clip on the cord... which wiped his hard drive... and despite the best efforts of my brother-in-law to talk him through a re-installation it appears now the laptop is completely fried. I'm going to take it in on Monday and see if they can do a total wipe and start over. I think it's all a ploy to get a new computer. Sigh.

      Oh, and did I mention that last night, when the power was out, my cat was on fire? If only you could have seen me chasing her around patting frantically at her smoking pelt. I'd draw a picture, but I'm sure your imagination is funnier, and more accurate.

      So, listen, if you want to cheer me up, please click on this big purple button for information on the lyric contest and send me some poems/prose and other tomfoolery. You know I want to get those in and backed up on my external drive before my own computer implodes. Or catches fire. Or runs around the house.

      Sigh.

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      I'm going to go hide now.
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    • The Story of the Drunk Irishman

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      This evening I came across this photo of me, from many, many years ago, when I was a first year resident at Hopkins. Because I like to make things as difficult as possible for myself, I got pregnant a week before I started there. This photo was taken a few days before I left my residency to have give birth to the wonder that is Spyton.
      PregnantResidencyPic.jpg
      I've told you the story of the drunk Irish guy, right? No? I guess I didn't. So, I was 40 weeks pregnant, and as you can see, as big as a HOUSE (I gained 50 pounds) and it was 3 am and the ER sent over this drunk Irish guy, from Ireland, who had gotten into a bar fight down at Fell's Point. He was claiming he couldn't see out of one eye at all after being hit in the forehead with a beer bottle. So the guy (accompanied by his equally drunk girlfriend) staggers into the Wilmer ER and sits in the chair. I cover his "bad eye" and he reads the chart to the 20/20 line. Fine. I cover the "good" eye and he says, "I told you, I can't see."

      So I look at his eye. It's closed. I say, "Open your eye."

      He says, "Hey! I can see!"

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      I was SO mad. Here I was, this walking behemoth, exhausted, up at 3 am with this moron. But I thought, the crazy patients are the ones that get you. (Which is so true. It is so often that the wacky ones are the ones with the weirdest diseases. Hey, case in point, right?) So, that drunk guy got the most thorough eye exam I have ever given any patient in my entire life. I think I had him in the chair for an hour giving him every ophthalmologic test I could think of, including a full dilated retinal exam with scleral depression, which I'll describe someday when I feel like giving OboeCrazy the creeps. He was totally, completely normal. Except for being drunk. And he had a bump on his forehead from being hit with a beer bottle. Dork.

      When he left I told the nurse, "Tomorrow, I'm going on maternity leave. I don't care if I don't give birth for two weeks. I've had it."

      Luckily that Monday I had an ultrasound and they thought Spyton looked over 9 lbs so they decided to induce me the next day. He was 7lbs 14 oz, bless him.

      Not that I was biased or anything, but Spyton was so cute when he was born. He looked like a little elf with an acorn for a hat and his whole hand didn't even go around my pinky. I'd put up a picture but he probably would be really mad at me. And I'm saving up the threats of public humiliation for when I really need it (them?). smiley8.gif Sigh. He was so tiny! He is much larger and more manly now. Ah well.

      Anyway, that's the story of the drunk Irishman who made me go have a baby.

      Oh! Also, you know Georges Jeanty, that comic book guy I'm always gushing about? It turns out Joss Whedon is going to be writing the next series of Buffy Comics for Dark Horse Comics, picking up where the Buffy Series left off. And guess who is going to be drawing it!? It turned out that Joss was a fan of Georges's work, and asked him if he'd be interested in working on the project. I knew Joss had good taste when he included Trogdor the Burninator in the BTVS series finale, lol!
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      OMG! Georges is going to be so good on that title. FINALLY we'll have a Buffy book where the characters will have some faint resemblance to the characters on the show. And all the work he did with Gambit means the action shots will be awesome. YAY! I'm so excited for him. And for me, because I'm a Buffy fan myself. I think I have all the trade paper backs for Buffy and have read all the Buffy e-Comics there are. Yikes. If I didn't know me, I think I'd be a little scared. smiley8.gif

      BTW, did I mention that I was taking submissions for Ben Browder's Fan Message Book and also for this Lyric Contest I'm having (I now have 1025 mod points for that!)? I did? Huh. Wow. The mind is a terrible thing to lose.

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      Today's Vocabulary Words
      behemoth
      ophthalmologic
      ultrasound
      Trogdor the Burninator

    • Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      My phone works again! Evidently it was a short in the house. The guy who came out to fix it came in a Comcast shirt but a beat-up unmarked van. He seemed really hesitant to come in the house. I was pretty sure he was an axe-murderer. But, you know, needed a phone. I lived.

      Anyway, I thought of another story where a doctor played a practical joke on me in the Operating Room.

      It was during my OB/GYN rotation. We were doing a C-section (Caesarian section) on a woman, and delivered her baby. Normal delivery, and for some reason I recall the patient was asleep, which in retrospect was sort of weird.

      *shrug*

      After the baby was bundled off to the nursery, the attending told me, "Okay, now go ahead and put your hand inside the uterus (the womb) and ease out the placenta."

      So I'm doing that...

      Then he said, "Okay, now I'll inject the wall of the uterus with Pitocin to help stop the bleeding."

      ...and now for the inevitable digression:
      Pitocin is the trade name for the hormone oxytocin (not to be confused with oxycontin, the narcotic). Oxytocin is a natural hormone produced in the brain which has a number of actions, the most relevant here being that it stimulates the uterus to contract during labor.

      As many of my fellow mothers will attest, it can be used to kickstart labor if your baby is overdue, but isn't as efficient as the real thing. (My son Spyton's labor was induced with Pitocin on a Tuesday at 4pm... the little rascal didn't make an appearance until 8pm Wednesday night!)

      A C-section is now an elective procedure, but used to be only used in cases of emergency, and thus is a pretty simple (read "hack and slash") procedure, invented at least two millenia ago ... when the instruments were a little more... unsanitary. In fact, it was historically only used when the mother was dying, and the first record of a woman surviving the procedure only dates back to the 16th Century, which is pretty amazing actually.

      So, how to do it:

      Basically you make one big incision in the skin, spread that apart. Then you make an incision down the middle of the abdominal muscle wall, and spread that apart. ("Oh what a great slit!" <---name that quote) Then you make one big incision through the wall of the uterus (not too deep!), and out pops the baby. Wee! I mean, the Miracle of Life! smiley8.gif When I was learning how to do this fifteen years ago we used cautery blades so it cauterized as we cut (mommy barbeque!) but still that uterus bleeds like crazy. So the idea of the Pitocin is that you inject the wall of the uterus with Pitocin so it contracts... it squishes in on itself and sort of "holds pressure" on itself.

      Cool, right?

      Okay, back to me with my hand in this lady's uterus.

      I'm feeling around in there, thinking, "Hm. Squishy." My attending injects the Pitocin and that frelling uterus clamped down on my hand so hard I actually yelled. Luckily my hand was still all covered with slimy baby goo and I was able to slide my hand out.

      Ha ha ha.
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      Today's Vocabulary Words
      oxytocin
      Caesarian section
      slimy baby goo

      PS: Because I now have TWO things to advertise, here are my ...advertisements. Sorry about that. But they are bolth worthwhile things to look into, I promise!
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    • YARRR! Readin' be Fundamental!

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      Yar, it be that time of the year agin. (Talk Like a Pirate Day.) Seein' as I indulged a wee bit last year with eatin' o' the red n' blue fish, I think I'll be given' ye a bit of educatin' this year with a bit o' larnin'.

      As me mum used ta say, "Get out er me sight er I'll beat ya ter death!" *sniff* I miss me mum. A saint she was. A saint.

      CLICK HERE fer "How to Kill a Mockingbird"

      What?! Yer thinkin' ye won't be clickin' me link!?!

      Yer thinkin' it will have too much larnin' fer ye?

      Shiver me timbers! It may have a bit o' readin' here n' there. I'm not much fer readin' meself, not in me pirate persona:
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      But there be pirates, robots and cursed ninjas aplenty!
      And even a battle in the black depths o' space:
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      So get ter clickin' ye scurvy dogs, ere I be keelhaulin' the lot of ye!

      * * * * *
      Ahem.

      *Slips into BBC Announcer Voice*

      ...and for those of you that aren't religious, I've made you this gif, which makes yesterday's gif much more comprehensible.

      Thank you.
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      Today's Vocabulary Words
      symbolism
      dramatic irony
      denouement
      Zorlac 7
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    • PPPTHTHTPPTHH!

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      Blargh. Spyton went back to school a few weeks ago and of course brought home the plague from the petri dish that is the public school system. And I was so enjoying not having a headache. Ah well. At least I know this one will go away. Or I'll die. Either way, I get relief. YAY!

      I called the Comcast again yesterday, and they said they will send out a workman to the house... on Wednesday. So now I have to wait at least another three days to get a phone so I can get the cell phones from US Cellular. Until then you can e-mail me or use semaphore to contact me.

      D*MN YOU TO H*LL, CABLE COMPANY!!! <--I'm sorry, there was no winner yesterday. This quote was from the 1991 Saturday Night Live skit "Psycho Divorced Mother" featuring Kirstie Alley, who by the way looked amazing in the last Jenny Craig commercial I saw.

      Speaking of quotes, BBC America ran a marathon of Eddie Izzard this weekend and he had this pithy summation of the American Dream which I thought was absolutely spot on:

      You have the American Dream... to be born in the gutter and be raised and grow up and get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go PPPTHTHTPPTHH!!!!

      I want to live the dream! When do I get to put money in my ears and blow raspberries at the world? Paris Hilton gets to do it! Donald Trump gets to do it! Barbara Streisand gets to do it! When is it my turn? When?!?!?!?!?
      ElneaAmericanDream.jpg
      *ahem*

      Hey, I put up some of my doctor stories over at www.TaiChiKnees.com in a new section called "MD Stories". If you've been with me for a while, you've likely seen most of them. If not, go look. They aren't all there. Just the more entertaining and long-winded ones. I even drew little pictures.

      Hey! I just got another two entries for the Lyric Contest. I suppose I will have to decide how to split up the THOUSAND mod points. Again, there will be two categories of winners. The first will be the one I choose to write a musical song for. The other category of awards will be those which you, the RvB community, will vote upon, which is open to EVERYONE (except me). Those entries will all be presented to you, the voters, without the author listed. I want to have a First, Second and Third Place. What do you guys think? 500 for the winner and 250 for 2nd and 3rd? Does that sound good? Or should I give everyone who enters some windfall? Hm.....Then of course the top three all get the signed CDs and such... I'm open to suggestions... smiley8.gif

      So, stop monkeying about and get to work on those submissions! For information on the contest, click the button. CLICK IT I SAY!!!!
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      PS: Hathead featured some cool Google Earth downloads in his latest journal you should check out, and I thought I'd chime in with one I like called Celestia which is more space and less Earth-based. And you can make machinima films of your favorite planets before someone downgrades them to a dwarf planet status. Like this one:
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      Seriously, it is free and fun and best of all, educational too! Check it out. CHECK IT, I COMMAND THEE!
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      Today's Vocabulary Words
      petri dish
      pithy
      semaphore
      summation
      monkeying about
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    • 1000 Mod Points & Catch-22

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      First... a few words about the Lyric Contest. Actual Journal and Halo Action Figure Theater below...

      Whoa Nellie. Well, I've got some more sponsors for the Lyric Contest. In case you're wondering, these are good kind folk who have agreed to pay to the winner(s)/participants of the contest some number of their own hard-earned mod points. How's that for a great community?

      quikthnkr 100 points
      LouisWu 200 points
      Edli (the artist formerly known as IIARESII) 300 points
      gambitq72 125 points
      TonyOstrich 150 points
      Pixilz 100 points
      ...and I'll make up the difference to get 1000 Mod Points!

      In case you didn't know, I'm sponsoring a "Lyric Contest" which is basically a poetry/prose contest, because that is what song lyrics really are. Poetry. I've gotten some fabulous entries already, but there are two weeks left to work on your submissions!

      Also, don't worry about dividing up your lyric into "verse" "chorus" "bridge" etc. That is really something that can be worked out when the music gets put to the words.

      For instance, in Handel's famous Hallelujah Chorus, you hear the first word repeated over and over by the choir:
      "HAAAA-Le-Loo-YAH!
      HAAAA-Le-Loo-YAH!
      Halle-LOO-YAH!
      Halle-LOO-YAH!
      Ha-Leh-heh-LOO-YAHHH!


      But the original words (in this case, the words are in prose) read:
      Hallelujah!/For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. The kingdom of this world has become the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ; and He shall reign for ever and ever. King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. Hallelujah!

      See what I mean? So, if you want to write it out the way the song would be, that is great, but not necessary. Just write what you feel. For more information about resources and prizes, etc, push the button below.
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      Now, onto my actual journal:
      1. Legos. Despite what you might think, I haven't been playing Lego Star Wars with Spyton non-stop since my last journal entry, as videogame time is in fact restricted to certain hours during the school year (awwww, Mom!!!) and some of the vehicle levels very very very woozy. However, it is a funny and clever game, and apart from a few bugs, I'm happy with the purchase.

      2. No wonder bass players look so grouchy. I had my first guitar ensemble for the semester and I came with my guitar and bass and got to play bass with the group for the first time. I've discovered that playing bass is BORING. So, I'm going to write some arrangements where I can do something other than play:
      E... E... E... .... .... A.... A.... .. E..... E.... (repeat)

      3. Catch-22. I haven't heard from the local vocational person yet, because it turned out my landline phone was down all week. Ack! I could call out, but not receive calls. So I called Comcast and they said it'd be fixed in 72 hours. Okay. My cell phone was down because the charger was broken, so I went to Verizon where they tried to charge me $50 for a charger when I was due for another free phone on my policy. So I left them (feeling rather indignant) and drove over to Cellular One. I was all set up with a great plan and cool phones for me and my son, but I couldn't get them because of the identity theft I'd had. I put an alert on my credit report 2 months ago. So, I can't pass the credit check unless I go home and have Cellular One... call me at home to verify who I am. D'Oh! I tried to explain the situation and I realized how bogus it must have sounded. This was yesterday. So today Comcast has fixed the landline it so I can receive calls but they go directly to voice mail. And I have no dialtone so can't dial out. I called up Comcast just now and they said all their systems are down. AHHHHHH!!!! Since I'd like the salesman who helped me at Cellular One to finish the transaction I'll have to wait until Monday, when he'll be back at Cellular One at work, by which time either Comcast will have fixed my main line, or.... I don't know. I can't switch companies, because I can't get a phone without my phone.

      D*MN YOU TO H*LL, CABLE COMPANY!!!!<----Name that quote

      *Slams head against wall*

      Ow. The front of my head!<----Name that quote

      Here's Steve n Lois: Episode 26 PDA "L'amour grotesque" It's been delayed because I've been trying to decide how I want the penultimate episode to play out. Yes, shockingly there is an actual planned storyline. Yes, I know what penultimate means. smiley8.gif
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      Today's Vocabulary Words
      Catch-22
      indignant
      grotesque
      penultimate
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    • And now, a message from the Dark Side

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      ... Spyton and I have been playing Lego Star Wars 2 for XBOX for the last 90 minutes straight... oh my goodness... SO FUN!

      Right now he's in the kitchen making tacos as I hurriedly type this. Must get back to LEGOS!!!

      It is so nice to find a game that we can play together that is fun that doesn't set off my inner ear thing...

      ...anyway, the graphics are nice, and I find the characters easier to control than the LEGO StarWars 1 game (I was constantly falling off platforms in the first one). And there are all sorts of fun new things...

      There are customizable characters you can name... and when you build things your characters do really funny animations. Also, the "voice acting" (aka little LEGO people grunts) actually sound like the actors. I wonder if they got Anthony Daniels to say "Uh! Nuh uh! gah!" LOL!

      And we just got to a bit where we had to build little landspeeders too get across a little area... but the game allowed us to drive all over the place and run into each other and go into random areas and build random things for no other reason than it was fun.

      Ah, George Lucas, I love you when you occasionally do something right. I mean, when you hire people that hire other people that do something right....

      Which reminds me, I always want to tell you whippersnappers:

      When I first saw Star Wars when it came out, I was 13.. so that was 1977 or so, right? When that first shot opened up... with Leia's ship coming on-screen, the whole audience said "Oooh!" and THEN the GIANT Star Destroyer came on screen... and kept coming... and kept coming... the audience was going berserk. And at the end, when the Death Star blew up, the audience STOOD UP AND CHEERED.

      I've never since been in a movie house where that happened. This wasn't a premiere or anything. Just a night out with the family. It was an incredible experience.

      So, say what you will about the Star Wars franchise and what depths it may have sunk to. I won't forget that first movie and how it felt to be sitting in that theater. Yeah, I think I saw it in the theater 13 times or something. Yeah, back in those days we didn't have DVDs. Or VHS tapes. We had to just REMEMBER. And that isn't that stupid "I had to walk 17 miles in the snow" baloney. That is the real truth.

      SO SCARY!!!!

      Okay, tacos are done! Gotta go eat and play more Star Wars. A real journal entry tomorrow, promise!

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      59.jpg

      Today's Vocabulary Words:
      Uh.... Whippersnappers... Fangoriously... and... linebacker?

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      Ah well. Everyone has an off-day now and then. I blame George Lucas.
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      PS: The tacos were terrific! Here's the link to the Legos Star Wars 2 Website. Not interested? I find your lack of faith disturbing....

    • BEST. DAY. EVER.

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      Seriously. This is the best day I've had in ... I can't remember. Maybe six years? I should just start from the beginning.

      1. Still happy about the possibility of employment in a new-but-related career, I went to the dentist. No cavities, no touch-ups, nothing. First time in years.

      2. I didn't know my way around the dentist's office, but since this is Chicago, I knew if I just headed vaguely north I'd get to my next stop... and I discovered a Portillos that I didn't know was there. AWESOME Italian beef sandwiches. Seriously, if you're in Chicago you have to have one.

      3. I sign up for my guitar ensemble, and although I'm late, they didn't send me to get a signature from the dean. Because I look honest. LOL. Then I took a picture of this lovely deer statue for you. It makes me giggle. And the art gallery had a show of an artist named Joseph Meert which was actually really good. (Sorry, can't find any good representative online art to show you... I'll have to sneak back in with a camera, lol.)

      4. On the way home I was listening to the latest iteration of this classical piece I'm working on for Lauren (oboe concerto) and I got an idea for a different oboe song... so I sat down and got about 2 minutes of music written and scored in 3 hours, which is huge freakin' deal if you're writing classical music, well, if I am anyway. It won't work for the concerto, but I really like how it came out. It kind of is like a mash-up of Ennio Morricone and Bach ...and big screen soundtrack music, so I feel happy it came out of me. Like a baby, but less expensive and messy.

      5. Tonight I went to the first of four seminars on digital music recording and about every 12 minutes I went "D'OH!" which is fabulous, because I've been learning on my own, and I've REALLY been doing everything the hard way. And I've been using the wrong microphones for pretty much everything. Last night I finally figured out how to switch on the condenser mic I bought 8 months ago (no instructions are included, hello) and wrote a song sketch for my guitar ensemble, and my acoustic guitar sounded so pretty... and tonight I found out I was still using the wrong mic... tomorrow I'm going to dig out that other one I never used... I CAN'T WAIT!

      6. Also, at the music store, I got to flirt with the cute guy that works there, and flirting with age-appropriate cute guys always cheers me up.

      7. I got home and Spyton and I watched Stargate SG-1 which featured tons of Ben and Claudia, and about ten minutes of screentime of poor Ben naked, handcuffed to a bed and at one point, covered in junk food. Which made me laugh out loud, first because that is the classic cliche fangirl wish, right? But more because back in the day he would tell this story about how his grandmother saw him kissing an actress on a tv show he did early in his career and she said, "Why are you kissing a woman who isn't your wife?" and he answered, "I'm an actor. That's how I make my money." And she said, "They call that prostitution." Love it. I wonder what his Grandma would have said about this show! Knowing how he is, he must be dying. How do actors come home and say to the wife and kids, "Yeah, so, kids, Dad's gonna be on tv naked and... you know what? I'm thinking tonight let's skip the show and we'll all go out for a nice big family dinner." smiley7.gif Oh, also Atlantis was really good tonight, mostly because it had a lot of David Hewlett and his actress sister, who were really good on-screen together. Just a fun SCI-FI Friday. For once in a long time!

      8. So now after this great day of good news, great creative output, useful info, well-placed flirting and funny entertainment I got online and due to some really generous offers I now have at least... 725 MOD POINTS for the contest in addition to the fabulous actual prizes!!!

      NO WAY!

      WAY!

      The following extremely nice people have pledged to donate mod points for the contest:
      quikthnkr 100 points
      LouisWu 200 points
      Edli (the artist formerly known as IIARESII) 300 points
      gambitq72 125 points

      ...and that is a BIG deal, because these poor people are going to have to click that "+1 mod" button on the lucky recipients' profiles over 100 times... 200... even 300 times! That is a lot of clicking!!!! Holy cow! I'm saving mine up too, so they won't be alone with clicking!

      Anyway, I've gotten my first few entries. Get to writing, guys and gals! With all this happiness and knowledge, I might be able to actually write a cool song to go with your awesome words!

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      NOTE: Deadline: October 2, 2006. Theme: Halo or RvB-related or Inspired.

      *HUGS*
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      The only thing I'm worried about now is that on soap operas when people have a really good day, inevitably the following day they are framed for murder by their evil twin and subsequently get amnesia and join a carnival. So, you know, if I'm not here for a few days, check around the carnivals.

      And now, the recap Episode of Halo Action Figure Theater: The Steve n' Lois Chronicles.
      Episode 25. The Major Players ("Les mots français drôles") <---too happy to think of a witty French joke. Wee!
      25TheMajorPlayers0909.jpg

      No vocabulary words today. You know, so you have more time to work on your lyrics.

      Wee!
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    • But wait, there's more!

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      1. May require further training... I mentioned a few journals back that I called my disability company and said, "Please help me find some kind of a job, I am going completely sitr-crazy." So, I talked for about 40 minutes today with their vocational specialist and it was pretty clear that they have a lot of experience placing physicians like me who, for one reason or another, can no longer do surgery or participate in patient care. He mentioned a few options that hadn't occurred to me, including things like hospital administration ... (which would be weird... because it would be like working for the dark side...) and he said a lot of times they send people back to school to get other degrees... like an MBA... back to school....

      AhhHHHHHH!!!!

      Well, not so much with the screaming, because if there is one thing I EXCEL at, it's being a student. After high school, I was a student in Urbana for 12 years, and then out East I was an intern for one, a resident for three...well, four (had baby in the middle) and then a fellow for a year. I graduated at age 35. My award-winning secret for student success?

      When in doubt, guess "B".


      Also, study your rear end off.

      The thing that would be hilarious is that if I got an MBA, or really any other sort of degree, I would then have more letters after my name than IN my name, which would look awesome on a nameplate on my desk. It'd be like that Monty Python sketch where the man has to have a door in his nameplate... I don't know, how about I get a DVM, or a DDS? What's that editing degree, that one that's like 5 letters long?

      I know it sounds like overkill to have all this education, but think about it. I mean, I could lose my job, I could lose my house, I could lose my car, I could lose my mind (more). But those letters after my name, I take those with me to the grave. Knowledge is power, and an education is forever. But perhaps more importantly, if I go back to school, when I die, I can get a really nice big WIDE headstone. Yeah, like it could say "Here lies Linnea, BS, MS, PhD, MD ...MBA DDS DVM... RIP" That would be awesome. And maybe I could also have the obligatory phrase "OMGWTFLOLXYZBBQ!" Oh! And if it were pink, that would RULE!

      smiley8.gif

      Anyway, I feel MUCH more optimistic after talking to this guy. I e-mailed him my CV and he said he'd get back to me next week. Cool beans.

      Okay, enough about my resume. Because, like, oh mah gawd, gag me with a Ginsu! <---name what food item for which the hand cannot be used as a knife (either of the two best-known food items will be judged as correct).

      2. Speaking of which... I see that Arthur Schiff died earlier this week. He's the one who came up with the name of the Ginsu knife, and his trademark phrase was evidently "But wait, there's more!" I would feel sad, but he enriched my life so much I just feel happy thinking about him. I think of all the innumerable times in my life I've used the phrase "But wait, there's more!", or "NOW how much would you pay?" or "And BOY does it catch fish!" I can't be sad. It would be like feeling sad if the inventor of chocolate died. There's just so much happiness in there that it eclipses the sadness.

      3. Apologies for grammar. I was at an open house at Spyton's school tonight, and at one point the Language Arts teacher apologized for being a stickler for grammar. She said, "I can't help it. I see apostrophes being used incorrectly and it makes my teeth hurt!" I thought that was very odd. Are there parents who complain to the school board that their child's teacher corrects grammatical errors? Seriously.

      One thing I did enjoy at the open house was that the gym class at this school is called "Quest for Health".

      Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't say that properly. It's called:
      quest-for-health.jpg

      No, that's still not right. It should be:
      quest-for-health2.jpg
      Ah. Better. I love that. See, now that there makes the fields of physiology and medicine seem incredibly sexy and exciting. Um... which... uh... they totally are. That's the ticket. Right. No doody or death or cancer involved or anything. Just spaceships and spell-casting. Yep. I love that. If I taught gym, that's what I'd call it too. Because the word "gym" is so... mundane. smiley0.gif

      4. You know, I don't even drink coffee. This is just me feeling happy. Weird.

      5. But wait, there's MORE! Here's today's Halo Action Figure Theater. If you are just coming in on this, and for some reason want to see the back issues (ya weirdo) you can actually Google "Halo Action Figure Theater" (with quotes) and get TWO (count 'em) hits, one of which is for my iWeb Halo Action Figure Theater (HAFT) page where you can catch up on all of the thrilling adventure. You know, I actually customized a Chuck Norris doll action figure just for this series. I look at these and I think, "Wow, I really am a crazy person. But I have lots of degrees, and that's what really counts! Now, off to level up my warrior mage on my... QUEST FOR HEALTH!!!"
      smiley0.gif

      Episode 24. Jill-In-The-Box ("Marcher à côté de ses pompes")
      24HAFTjillinabox.jpg

      Today's Vocabulary Words
      apostrophes
      optimistic
      mundane
      The Ginsu 2000
      smiley9.gif

    • 3 hours credit for a flying cow

      10 years ago

      Elnea

      Argh. I'm up late again as I was working on some music and got caught up with it. BLAH!

      Oh! Also, I got my first three entries for the Poetry Lyric Contest. I should tell you that the 300 word limit is not a challenge to make it 300 words. As I said, perfectly good songs can be made out of FAR less. LOL!!! Anyway, indulge Calliope and send those lyrics in!

      And I made a button to click. This makes me happy.
      LyricCONTEST.jpg


      Also, here's some happy news about a vaccine for papilloma virus (HPV) that could stop 75% of cervical cancer deaths. And this isn't just good news for women. One of the big medical arguments pro-male circumcision is that circumcision reduces the risk of papilloma virus carriage and transmission and therefore also lowers the risk of cervical cancer in men's female partners. Although male circumcision is routinely practiced in Jewish and Muslim sectors, back in the 1960s in America pretty much all the men, Christians included, were circumcised according to medical practices at the time. The trend is swinging back, but many parents are still opting for circumcision because of the papilloma question. Weenie wacking aside, wouldn't it be great if everyone could get a HPV vaccination the way we get measles or chicken pox or hepatitis nowadays? It would be cool if 50 years from now the herd immunity just got rid of these diseases the way smallpox is essentially gone now. Look at anyone over 30 or so, we all have smallpox scars on our arms where we got the vaccines. You kids just have tattoos there, lol. Anyway, nice to see some good news.

      And here's the next Steve n' Lois. I'm a few issues ahead 'cause I'm so busy tomorrow and Friday.
      Episode 23. Special Delivery "Ah! La Vache!"
      23haftboom.jpg
      Ta!

      Today's Vocabulary Words
      Lyric
      Human Papilloma Virus
      smallpox
      vaccinate
      La Vache

      PS: No, seriously, click the "La Vache" link. There's a video of some guy who did a virtual simulation of a scene from the Holy Grail... at Carnegie Mellon... he got college credit for that. I love that.

  • Comments (3472)

    • goatman93

      12 years ago

      im pink and theres black on the side

      btw your one awsom mom!
      m dad playes halo 2 w/ me and we own but i rarely see girls on xbl

    • xenomorph64

      12 years ago

      i wish u were my mom. she played halo until she had to kill an elite. then she ran out... ha

    • Nightmar3

      12 years ago

      Are you really 41?

    • SamNMad

      12 years ago

      can i add you to my friends list on xbl. im a female and like to play online with other females?

    • Elite005

      12 years ago

      Man the kids you raise are gonna rock!!

    • spyke5689

      12 years ago

      Wow. Soccer Mom that plays Halo and gos on rvb? you are so cool.

    • funkyson

      12 years ago

      Where's that eyeball from in your about section? It looks familiar, but I just can't seem to place it...

    • gerald_ford

      12 years ago

      Girls playing Halo? That's mythical nonsense like Walruses and Pumas.

    • CaptainTrips

      12 years ago

      Hey, nice movies. Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of my all-time favorite movies. Ever. Also The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and pretty much everything else you've got up there. Hmm, why aren't they in my profile? I've gotta go fix that...

    • ToolPackinMa

      12 years ago

      GK2 is one of my all time favorite games. IMHO 3D didn't make GK3 better.

      If you like vampires and werewolves and action/adventure check out Vampire Mascarade BLOODLINES. I'm really enjoying it right now.

    • Killer117

      12 years ago

      You are one awesome Mom! I love your pictures! Power to the Girl Halo Players! I'm tired of being made fun of because I'm a chick that plays Halo on xbl. But they don't make fun of me anymore once I kick their asses to the ground. Great stuff.

    • PissedKitty

      12 years ago

      A forty-year-old! I didn't know they made those on the internet! Most people are eighteen and younger. X3

    • otto

      12 years ago

      Favorite Music
      Any type of music other than free-form jazz.


      I hate you.

    • Silmeluin

      12 years ago

      you're pretty cool mother!

    • lord_smurph

      12 years ago

      wow, the one and only game i have ever got my mom to play was a Mario and yoshi game on the NES and that was a test in patients.

    • holes

      12 years ago

      I hope I'm this cool when I turn 40!

    • _HK_47_

      12 years ago

      Farscape - rocks, all your movies rock, you wicked hot, you like video games... i envy your husband.

    • PrototypeGTX

      12 years ago

      im a lightish red spartan

    • Sergeant_Hak

      12 years ago

      I have a friend thats a pink spartan way cool it takes courage to be pink

    • Tucker_Q218

      12 years ago

      <----a pink spartan---it gets people mad when they're killed by one

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