5 years agoFrankfurter
5 years agoFrankfurter
Today is my birthday. You want to give me a present? Help me find these last four songs I need.
Over two years ago I said I was writing an opera. That's not entirely true. I'm writing a video game.
[color=brown]"A video game? Frank, you don't know anyone in the video game industry."[/color]
"Yes I do."
[color=brown]"No, she's not in the video game industry."[/color]
"What about him?"
[color=brown]"He isn't either. And even if he was, he couldn't help you."[/color]
Fine, I'm writing a video game that will never get made. But I can't abandon it, I've had the worst kind of writer's block. It won't let me write anything else until I get this idea out of my head.
[color=brown]"Wait a second, Frank. You said 'opera' before. How could you get 'video game' and 'opera' confused?"[/color]
Backstory: After a miserable freshman semester, I needed some classes that could increase my GPA to get my scholarship back. Like anyone in this situation, I decided to take some easy A classes. Unlike the idiots, I decided I would squeeze every bit of learning I could out of them. One of them was introduction to theater.
We were exposed to every type of theater including opera. One opera we studied concerned the actions of King Wotan. I'm not entirely sure the opera, but it was probably Der Ring des Nibelungen, specifically Das Rheingold. The first song we listened to was this bombastic piece sung in a foreign language by King Wotan talking about how great he was. Throughout the song was a repeated four note movement that became associated with the king himself. Later in the opera some woman was telling another person about her current situation; she sang "I met a king" and a solitary French horn played the four notes of King Wotan's song while the rest of the symphony is focused on her tune. As the audience, I knew she was referring to King Wotan. I thought that technique was pretty cool.
I started kicking an idea around in my head to do something using that idea, but in a way (I think) no one has ever done before. I'll spare you the steps how it got to this point, but the final product is a video game with each character having a theme song (with lyrics) that was once a popular song played on the radio.
This works because many songs have metaphors that can be interpreted in multiple ways. I am using that to my advantage by reinterpreting the lyrics to fit the setting of my video game. The song Possum Kingdom by the band Toadies has the line "I can promise you you'll stay as beautiful with dark hair and soft skin forever." That line is probably meant as the singer believing his woman will remain as beautiful in his mind throughout their lives as she is right now; but I've reinterpreted it to fit a vampire seducing someone with the promise of eternal youth.
The video game itself would be a stealth based video game peppered with boss fights. And shut the fuck up those of you coughing "Metal Gear" under your breath! Music will constantly be playing. A portion of that person's song will play at certain moments involving that character such as any time anyone mentions that person or when the player is in an area that character controls.
The songs (for the most part) fit into one of three categories. I mentioned that women only sing love songs, but truthfully men sing love songs about 70 percent of the time also. As such, two of the three factions have love songs as part of their main theme. It also means it is a male-heavy cast because my only real requirements are the word "love" not be spoken in the song itself (with one exception) and the character must be the same gender as the song's singer. One group, the soldier/army guys, have a theme of overconfidence; another group, the genetic mutants, have a theme of dysfunctional relationships stemming mostly from the relationship to the doctor that experimented on them; the third group, the vampires, have a theme of seduction and selfishness. And yes, these three genres will actually fit together well when the game is written. Examples of each include Nazareth - Hair of the Dog ("Now you're messing with a son of a bitch") for the army guys. 12 Stones - Broken ("I'm broken, you know I need you now") for the mutants. Enrique Iglesias - Bailamos ("I want to live this life forever") for the vampires.
Rather than list the entire cast and every song, I'll mention the four characters I need songs for:
002 Deep (Richard Agnew) Sniper. He's a sniper with a sick habit of shooting his targets in the throat. The only song I can find so far is You Can't See Me by John Cena. And while that song is functional, I'd like a song heard on the radio.
003 Buck (William Raymond "Billy Ray" Dublin) Shotgun expert. I'd like something in the country genre, but not A Country Boy Can Survive because there is no metaphor in that at all.
Mindreader This character is the ultimate blank slate. Apart from his/her name and powers, I have no personality because I have no song. The closest I could come up with is Dionne Farris's I Know What You're Doing, but that really doesn't fit for the double interpretation. Surely there is a popular song I don't know of that can be interpreted as a mindreader song.
Waterfall Right now I have Santamonica by Everclear which fits because the character is the second water-based person to work for the doctor and is continually being compared to the first, but if you know of any other water songs I should listen to, I will.
If you have any suggestions that you think fit into any category, especially sung by a woman, I'll listen. Thank you for your help and if your suggestion is used, you'll get royalty checks if this ever becomes a real video game[color=white]. Which it won't[/color].
6 years agoFrankfurter
As far as I know, the phrase "when it rains, it pours" is used in the negative sense to mean one bad thing being followed by multiple more bad things. I'm not sure if there is a positive version of that saying; but if there is, say it to me.
In the last six months I:
1) Graduated nursing school
2) Acquired a girlfriend
3) Passed the licensing board and am now an official registered nurse
4) Got a new car
5) Was offered full time employment
6) Moved to a new city
I'm pretty happy
Now which ones require elaboration? You already know about #1.
2) Three friends of mine and I went to an art show in June. I guess you could call it an art show. All I was told was it was in the warehouse district in New Orleans, some artist would try to sell stuff, and there would be live bands and beer in the back. Live bands and beer was the only part I cared about.
We got to the warehouse where the event was held, and the greeter thanked us for coming and supporting the cause. "The cause?" I asked.
"All of the proceeds from today's exhibit and show go to benefit cancer research for Amy's mother," she said. I'm still keeping up the tradition of not calling people by their real names.
I was unsure how to feel at that point. I'm all about expanding myself and going to see new things, but the art part of the show was to take a back seat to the concert-listening and beer drinking, however, I am a huge supporter of fighting cancer. Cancer sucks. The problem, though, was I had only brought twenty dollars and art shown in art shows is usually more expensive than that.
"Does the beer go to fighting cancer also?"
"Yes it does."
While still sober in my fight against cancer, I was introduced to a woman who did a rather decent job at busting my balls. Anyone who knows me knows I dislike those who prematurely bust my balls (ball busting is a privilege that is earned) but she was creative and witty about it, so I let it slide. The fact she was cute was actually a point against her because we all know cute girls think they can do whatever they want including premature ball-busting, but her intelligence made up for it. I didn't see her again for a few hours when – during one of the intermissions while a new band came on – she was invited on stage to read some of her poetry.
A woman in a sundress with thick glasses reading poetry with her hair in a ponytail is pretty high on my list of "not my scene," but I was glad I decided to stay and listen because the stuff she was reading was really good.
I simply told her afterward that I enjoyed her writing. Weeks later she told me that coming up after she had shown her brain off rather than hitting on her beforehand showed her what I've been saying for years: I'm attracted to women's minds second. I'm attracted to women's faces first. Boobs are all the way at sixth.
A few dates later and I determined she was a very grounded high school teacher with poetry being a creative outlet. Good thing, too, because I'd hate to see such a cute girl wasted as a damn dirty hippy.
In keeping with tradition I shall refer to her as "Poetry Girl" instead of her real name when I talk about her. We're dating. She's cute. I'm happy.
3) I wanted to dance for an hour straight when I found out I got my nurse's license. Turns out I'm a fatass. I was only able to dance for two minutes and fifty six seconds. I had a song lined up in case I passed. Bonus points if you can guess it.
4) My new car is a blue Toyota Corolla. Grandma paid for about a third of it as a graduation present. You know what it has that most my previous cars didn't? Air conditioning! Fuck yeah! Nore more sweating for Frank!
5) In my previous journal I objected to the nursing job search being so reliant on technology. I now have even more reason to hate that process since what actually worked for me involved using the computer to find the addresses of every hospital in New Orleans and some mapping software. I then spent one day walking into each and every hospital in the city of New Orleans, introducing myself to their human resource department, and explaining to them I was a new graduate looking for an opportunity and that their shitty computer program was un-navigable for someone with absolutely no actual nursing experience. By the end of that one day, I had a job offer.
It isn't in a pediatric ward like I wanted, but is instead another Long Term Acute Care hospital (LTAC for short) and I'm pretty sure my student job at an LTAC in Baton Rouge helped me get it. I might start looking for pediatric jobs after I get that year of experience, but I am pretty grateful to these people for offering me a job. So I don't want to bolt immediately. That seems like a dick move.
I've tried explaining LTACs with little success. Here's the quick version: no one goes to a hospital to die. You go to a hospital to heal. Even though we see extremely sick people who require months of time to heal and sometimes do die; we are not a hospital people go to specifically to die at. That's stupid.
6) My roommate is a friend I've known since high school. We found a house in the same neighborhood as the hospital I work at. I walk to work. It's pretty awesome. Plus, I live in New Orleans now. Which would be great for me if I was single because of all the single ladies here, but is still pretty awesome because of how much more fun it is than my hometown...and probably more fun than your hometown.
That's all from me. Now on to your journals.
6 years agoFrankfurter
The root problem with our current setup of internet technology is that it is supposed to connect all forms of information and people to each other. It sounds like an easy sell until you try to find something incredibly specific or use it to find a certain type of person and realize how far the robots actually are from taking over the world. (Very far)
The days before the internet didn't have this problem. If you needed a piece of information, you went to a library. If you needed a person, you went to the phonebook. If you needed a job, you drove to wherever that job was and gave them a résumé. Which is why I'm looking back at my time before the internet through rose-colored nostalgia glasses. And I was only in the sixth grade back then.
So here I am searching for a job. An undertaking I’ve attempted for the last few months, but after my May 20th graduation, it is now my all-encompassing motivation. I'm going to skip past the "How come every job I apply for says it wants a minimum of one year experience? How can I ever get a year of experience if no one hires me?" line that every college graduate says; mostly because it is cliché as all hell and probably spoken by every person reading this journal, but also because I understand the company’s reasoning behind it. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it.
Instead I’ll focus on my current problem: trying to find a job through the broken and yet somehow exclusive forum that is healthcare job searching. Obviously this would make sense: rather than search for all jobs, it would be easier to search only for healthcare jobs, but the polish that some of these other websites have from ten more years of existence gets omitted and instead I’m plunged into hour-long questionnaire forms. Half hour, but it is still a problem.
I have to admit though, this current setup does remove the anxiousness of wondering for weeks if I’m going to get a job or not since rejection letters are usually e-mailed the same day.
Now I did the job-search before when I got that previous job I held at that newspaper that I loved so much. So I can say by comparison the system the hospitals in this country use to apply for jobs is bad. None of that wish-washy "it needs improvement" or "once you get the hang of it" that comes with other job searches (or the healthcare field in general) Job searching is just all bad all the time to the point where it gets worrisome. Don't read too much into that parentheses comment. It's not a political statement.
First of all: what was wrong with submitting résumés? Résumés are the one-page collection of all important information that an employer looks at to decide if he wants to call you up to get more information. When looking for a job as a nurse, submitting a résumé is merely a suggestion since every piece of data on that résumé will need to be entered a second time somewhere within the application.
It's like someone took a look at the résumé submission, and it worked perfectly well and became the norm, and someone in a hospital said "All those other jobs use résumés to decide who to hire. That's not for us cool doctors and nurses. Let's use this not-at-all time-saver.”
When applying for a job at a hospital, my résumé may be uploaded at the beginning of the application and some of the more progressive hospitals have a program that will read my résumé and plug some of the information into different boxes with a very poor rate of success. Sometimes it even makes information up. I don't know how.
Then comes the actual application. Remember when you decided to set up profile here at Red versus Blue: you chose a username, provided an e-mail address, selected picture you wanted as your avatar, gave your geographic location, your age, and sex. There were some other options that you could fill in such as birthdays, video game preferences, and that kind of thing. The really determined among you probably finished your entire initial profile in about 30 minutes or so. After that, your profile had been set up and you could begin watching the antics of the fighting armies and occasionally commenting on awesome journals like mine.
You probably went through a similar process if you set up a Facebook account, MySpace account, Twitter and so on. And who knows, you could probably have as detailed an account on several other websites. The entire process might have been a little time-consuming, but it wasn't all encompassing, and it didn't take so long that it prevented you from doing whatever it was that was the main purpose for signing up for an account on the site in the first place. Furthermore, you probably didn’t set up all of your accounts on the same day.
When applying for a job at a hospital, I can’t just go to CareerBuilder.com or Monster.com; I have to go to specific hospital-only employment search engines. And even then, it is only to be led to the individual hospital’s web site where they want me to fill out an entire employee profile. Also, in the most erect of dick moves, any job within that hospital’s web site wants me to apply for that job individually, usually requiring me to fill out six more pages of personal information – most of it already available on the résumé I uploaded at the beginning of the application and has been completly ignored since.
And this happens every time I apply, I can’t skip it! No one could have actually used this system and thought “Yep, this will never get old.”
Only one application takes 30 minutes and if I’ve been applying for jobs for three hours – giving the same information over and over – to find I’ve only applied for six jobs gets frustrating.
Three more paragraphs and a map in the comments.
6 years agoFrankfurter
Who has two thumbs and just passed his last class in (and therefore graduated from) nursing school?
By "congratulations" I mean "pictures of things that are awesome." Like a dog on a skateboard, or a bear holding a shark.
Give me a day or two for the predictor test and then I'll explain what this means. In the meantime, beer.
(actually, beer is what I used to prop up the camera to take that picture above. Beer is also what caused several of the out of focus shots. Like this one:
I'm really happy that I'll get to take care of sick people now, but I promise (since you people know me and all) to not take care of any of your children. Except if you're friends with hot women I want to date. Then I'll medically treat your children as some sort of health ransom type thing. Boy I hope the state boards know what sarcasm is...or they don't read this journal.
Edit: I should probably mention that if I had your phone number, you'd already know all of this (minus the pictures) but only four of you are brave enough to call (225)WET-BARF for whatever reason that makes no sense to me and has nothing to do with the fact "barf" is in the phone number. Five if you count the one I decided not to text because I lost his number. And yes, I used the same “two thumbs” joke. Leave me alone. That final was hard.
6 years agoFrankfurter
It’s my birthday
Yes, I actually have a real journal I’m going to post; but, as usual, it requires a lot of editing to go from “interesting as a story I tell verbally to friends” to “interesting when typed and read.”
Also finals are next Tuesday. Wish me luck. But mostly wish me happy birthday.
P.S. I graduate May 20 at the Baton Rouge River Center (formerly known as the Centroplex) and every single one of you can come if you want to. Including you, random hot chick who isn’t on my friend’s list but stumbled on to this journal.
After that, I promise to read and comment on your journals.
And to keep with the tradition, here is me giving you a present on my birthday:
Ahem, I mean:
Sorry about that. No I'm not.
7 years agoFrankfurter
I need examples of things that are complete non-accomplishments. You know, things that everyone can do. Things that you should be ashamed of being proud of.
Allow me to expand: About three years ago, I noticed that I was suffering from a narrow world view. The glance around my area of friends noted a copious legion of males. In an effort to expand my world view, I needed to make new friend, specifically new types of friends. Some of you at Red vs. Blue were made during this expansion.
My rather broad mission locally, however, was to make friends with more women. This is somewhat easier because I am in nursing school where the ratio is 7 to 1 female to male ratio, but even with those statistics... I would hardly call my mission a success.
Let me delve a little bit more into my desire to broaden my demographic of friends. There are many different ways to explain this, but anyone who is familiar with my journals knows I love to speak in metaphor so I will do that again now:
Have you ever seen that television show with the fat guy and his inexplicably hot wife? You know; the one where he lives in a house with his children, goes to that job he has with those screwy coworkers, and has that crazy neighbor who comes over all the time? Are you having trouble thinking of the name of that show? It's because there are about 500 of them, 25 new ones on right now. Sometimes he has two kids sometimes he has three kids. Sometimes it's not a crazy neighbor, it's a mother-in-law. Sometimes he's not fat, or he's black, or his wife isn't hot. The point is that there are so many of that show.
Now don't get me wrong, I've seen several of these fat guy and his hot wife shows. In fact there are a few on right now that I really enjoy. The characters are interesting, the setting is interesting the crazy neighbors are crazy; the show is fun to watch. But don't get me to start watching your favorite fat guy and his wife hot wife show, because I've already seen it. Or at least I see enough of these shows now that any new one wouldn't be interesting or funny, it would just be redundant and would probably make me enjoy the shows I currently watch less.
If you haven't figured out: In this metaphor the fat guy and his hot wife TV show is men. I have a lot of male friends. Too many male friends. Which presents me with its own issue when a friend of mine wants to introduce me to his or her friends.
You know how when you are friends with someone, that someone wants to introduce you to other friends of his or hers whom you don't know? Either because that friend of yours really likes this other person and thinks you will as well, or because there are so many qualities you and this person you haven't met share that your friend thinks would guarantee your and that person’s friendship.
I get introduced to a lot of my friend's friends; apparently my apathy on major events, my fiery opinions on minor events, and my stories about getting arrested for standing too close to someone else who was urinating make me the type of person my friends think other people need to meet. The selfish part of me asks, “what about this person is so special I have to meet him? I know I’m great, but what is he bringing to the table?”.
Now, I have made a blanket statement that I do not want to meet anymore male friends of any of my friends. There is not enough new material in this person you know that I haven't already seen.
Getting back to the point of this journal; my quest to make new female friends is because I want to broaden my perspective, learn new things, understand what about the opinions that I have that I hold so strong is completely and utterly wrong (especially opinions I have on females reactions to things...though my opinion about the tankini remains unchanged because every female counter argument I've heard to it can basically summarized as, “I want to wear the tankini so I'm going to, even though I look like shit.”) Women are after all, incredibly brilliant people whose perspectives on things should be listened to.
Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to make more female friends so they could introduce me to their other female friends, preferably the attractive single ones, but believe me when I say broadening my world view is my primary reason. I am completely honest when I say I want to make friends with women so that I can learn how they think.
Remember; I am an observer of human behavior. This adventure I’ve undertaken all this time has had me notice new things. One thing in particular is that women I've been friends with continue to brag about is how many guy friends they have. At first I thought this was each female’s attempt to show how much of a tomboy she was, but after the 40th girl did this I started to realize they actually thought this was a big deal. A nationwide search shows women all over America think having mostly guys friends is an individual accomplishment each time. To all the women reading this who don't already know, let me make this point abundantly clear: Making friends with a guy is not hard to do. It is about the easiest thing out there.
My sister, who has more female friends than anyone else I know, still has males outnumbering females in her friends list two to one. At least she doesn’t brag about it.
Your input is required! Read the first comment and then make your comment.
7 years agoFrankfurter
7 years agoFrankfurter
8 years agoFrankfurter
I imagine IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll be reading most of your Christmas well-wishes in July while the tire sales are going on.
IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m doing well in school. That is my only present to you. It is also the explanation as to why I havenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t read any of your journals or updated since the Diabetes Bike Ride I begged all of you money for (I actually did really well in that. I want to do the 64-mile trek next year)
Also, if I called any of you this semester asking for help in class because of your knowledge in a particular medicinal field, I probably will again because I have to retake that class. If I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t call you, and you do have particular knowledge in a certain medical field, it was because I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have your number. That is your fault! My phone number is (225)WET-BARF. Call it sometime! (after Christmas, though. I'm hanging with my family tonight and tomorrow) I'll even answer if you promise not to sell me shit.
Oh! And Schizophrenia is not multiple personality disorder, no matter what Me Myself & Irene says. Now youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll stop looking like a jackass at parties. Or you can make other people look like jackasses. Either way, you're welcome. Merry Christmas.
I want to give one of those generic Ã¢â‚¬Å“Happy HolidaysÃ¢â‚¬Â as well, but last I checked I have two Jewish readers, one athiest, and every one else celebrates Christmas. So instead:
Joyful Godless Day, you Sodomite
and Merry Christmas.
And here is your present.
Yes, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m regifting. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll see you all this summer to report I only have a semester to goÃ¢â‚¬Â¦I hope. And to read your hundreds of journals.
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