So this will be a weird journal to type since its something that i utterly avoid talking about, at every turn ill go out of my way to change the topic if someone brings it up with me but its been on my mind alot the past months and lead to doing something insane over the next week where i try and change.
I have always grown up with social anxiety, every scenario of social interaction from friends in school to family, to colleagues i work with, even walking into town to run errands im hit with it, and i know its stupid and i realize the things that run through my head are just severe over reactions. Hell i overly censor what i say in threads on this site, simply because i don't want to annoy anyone or say anything out of place.
A few years ago when i left college i lost contact with literally everyone i spent time with in secondary school, and in college, because of how social interactions made me feel, until a few weeks ago when i walked past a friend i hadn't seen and she ran up and hugged me and wanted to know how id disappeared for so long had i gone to university or travelling somewhere?
The truth was id been living 2 roads away from her and she worked in the same area of town as me and took the same route to work and started roughly the same time as me, so the likely hood i was about 5minutes away from her on every walk to work is extremely high. We just never intersected and the only reason we met that day was because i stayed behind a while after work. I still never got her number so i probably wont see her for a long time again.
However back to the point i was making Anxiety and fear of talking to people crippled my life, its pretty boring to be fair and just head banging against a wall levels of lonely, and im fed up with it. Ive been so glad to met a handful of people on this site who i can talk to from time to time and they know im thankful for it to.
Now in comes RTX after i saw my this girl again i started thinking how hard can it be?
Just going up and talking to people, turns out- Still really fucking hard i just lose the ability to comprehend words.
I want to learn to get over it, so i came up with a plan, not just a simple one, a really dumb throwing myself in at the deep end style of plan
I booked tickets to and a flight out to RTX a convention of thousands of people ( i barely handle a busy high-street or semi-busy Tesco's) so i know a fairly large portion of people wont read this but my request is simple,
If you do recognize or see me, please come up and talk to me
My Avatar pic is pretty spot on to how i look, i always where check shirts aswell haha,
I want to talk to as many people as i possibly can whilst im out there, i want to know who you are, how long you have liked roosterteeth, how you got to RTX, how your finding austin, what you plan to see, literally anything, so when i get back from RTX if i am lucky, i can write another journal about the countless number of awesome people i have met.
Well im gonna stop rambling anyway, i hope i see at least someone out at RTX ^^
Thank you aswell if you read this nonsense