Well.... time to get personal.
So Carrie Fisher died and, this year especially, this celebrity death hit me the absolute hardest. I am honestly devastated. Can't believe it. Nope. No way.
As a nerdy girl, naturally, Princess Leia was an icon for me. Remember as a tender 10 year old watching Stars Wars and falling in love with her character. This feisty women in a Sci-Fi? Sadly, back in the day was hard to come by. I adored her. Absolutely. We all did, right? Wanted to be just like her. Classy and elegant, so much sass, and an ability to do anything that was thrown at her.
Obviously most know of her for Princess Leia, (and General Leia Organa, to me, was the best part of Force Awakens,) and indeed she is an amazing actress, but personally it's something much more than that.
Maybe some of you know, but I do have a mood disorder. I call it "bipolar-chan", because it's not bipolar, but the affect can resemble such mood swings sometimes. As most people who are Star Wars nerds and have a mood disorder and/or addiction will tell you, Carrie Fisher is an absolute front runner to breaking that stigma of mental illness.
There have been so many days where I'd just go on youtube, pull up a Carrie Fisher mental ilness and/or addiction interview and just listen to her talk. Feel not alone, you could say, about a condition that's very misunderstood. God, I loved it. She had a way with articulating the dynamics to her bipolar that allowed people great insight to the struggle. It was poetic and still kept a sense of humor that life is supposed to have. She was a shining soul, no denying that, her ability to capture an audience on and off screen was amazing.
Fuck I appreciate that so much. I really do.
Can't help but be upset that that's suddenly gone from the world.
The weird thing, I guess, is I loved her mother as well. Debbie Reynolds, to me, was a great icon, mainly because I love to dance. (Let alone her role in Halloweentown on Disney? FUCK YEAH) And to see her alongside Gene Kelly tapping away like she'd done so her whole life (when she only had 3 months to prepare for her Singing in the Rain dance routines) to me is amazing. That alone inspired me so much. Hell if she can do that in 3 months, what can I accomplish in 3 months?
I look up to the people who try, to the people to push, and the people to take chances. That's what life's about, taking those chances. Speaking up for people who don't have a voice... and reaching out to those who need a hand.
I hope, at least, one day I can look back on my life and go, "yeah... I took chances. I like that. I took chances. I did the best I could."