Rinawa

Female
from Allentown, PA

    • Rinawa

      Time Flies

      1 year ago

      Time seems to have flown by lately. Its hard to believe its been over a year since my entire life changed.

      As a short update - life is good, i am still married which his a but of a bummer - things are moving though slowly it feels sometimes. We have at least come to agreements on things but its the detail that need working out at this point. I have an apartment now with my wonderful boyfriend. And i am quite enjoying the freedom it is bringing me having something that's truly home.

      I don't paint much anymore, mostly because i don't have a defined work space yet - hopefully when i get some of my furniture back that might change but in the mean time i have taken a great interest in photography. i like the ability to capture a moment or see the details in small things that might not be noticed or looking at something in a different angle in capturing something beautiful. but i am learning my camera - a nikkon d3100 and getting off the automatic setting to really take control over my shots. ( i have a pinterest for that - message me if your interested in following it)

      All in all i am enjoying my life now more than i ever did before. i have a deeper appreciation not only of myself but my surroundings and more importantly my love. I finally feel more comfortable in my own skin and therefor more comfortable in so many other aspects of my life. Sometimes you don't realize what you were missing till you finally find it.

      So if i can remember i will try to pop on here more often. though no promises. i am afraid since leaving HIM i don't follow RVB as much, but then my life was fairly inundated with mass amounts the sound of Halo playing on xbox, when you deal with that much regularly you wanna get away from it for a while. decompress if you will.

    • Rinawa

      Changes

      2 years ago

      So, think its time to update everyone and fill in some blanks for those of you on my Facebook.

      The long and the short of it is me and rich are splitting. We have had some long standing issues over the years that we never really addressed and hoped would just go away but obviously they didn't. It was mostly a communication issue and we missintupreted each other and took things the wrong way. And we were too naive to realize it and make changes when it would have been best.

      The point is I am not happy and it's not fair for rich to be stuck in a relationship like that.

      So we are working on splitting, hopefully amicably.


      Don't worry about me, I really am ok. I am finding my self and my happiness and its going better than good.

    • Rinawa

      A hypothetical if you please.

      3 years ago

      Person A and person B, they do not get along, person B hates A with a passion while person A is sad by the hate but somewhat understanding it as it is to an extent justified.

      They come face to face in a neutral location. Knowing the hatred is there Person A says" Its's all right" as they leave, Person B ignores them and turns away as if they are not there.

      Which is being Juvenile? Is A being condescending toward B?

    • Rinawa

      Quick Update

      3 years ago

      Had my 2 week follow up appointment on Monday.

      Everything looks good, but to be on the safe side the doctor wants to see me one more time but in February. In the mean time i can go back to work on Jan 20th (or sooner if i really want, which i don't)

      now is the task of doing more to get back endurance from doing just about everything since i was not permitted nor able to do much of anything.

    • Rinawa

      The beginning of the end

      3 years ago

      I think the end is finally in sight. as it has been a few weeks this is going to be a highly abbreviated readers digest version.

      on November 14th i went back into the hospital because i still had a collapsed lung. they put a chest tube in and ended up keeping me until the wednesday before thanksgiving.

      while in there i had then quiet baffled to a certain extent. after puting in a chest tube and having me sit for almost the entire week nothing improved. So that friday they tried a procedure. it had a 50% chance of working. what the tried was they took blood from me then injected that blood into the chest tube and around my lung. the idea was that the blood would conjeal nad stop the leak. it was suposed to take 24 to 48 hours to know if it worked.

      after 48 hours i showed only slight improvement. they created an intermitten leak instead of a continuous slow leak in my lung. that tuesday they wanted to attempt to actually find the leak and put a valve in. That valve is considered experiemental. only 4 thousand cases a year end up needing that vaqlve, the FDA does not have a case study on it as of yet although in all cases the valve helps. that vaqlve is n ot permeant it only stays in for a few months then is removed - its in only long enoguh for your lung to heal on its own.

      the procedure took twice as long as expected, they couldnt find the leak.

      instead they changed the tube in my so it could be fitted with an external valve which is common and not experimental in the slightest. hence they let me go home the next day - just in time for thanksgiving.

      the chest tube stayed in for a whole week befroe they finally this past monday took it out. as of yet the x-ray shows everythng is fine. god only hopes it stays that way. i follow up in two weeks again.

      eventaully when things heal up a bit nad the brusing fades i post a pick of my new scars as now i have three more to ad to my "collection" it just sucks since wearing certain articles of clothing is out of hte question shuch as bras or those damn tank tops with shelf bras.

      but atleast on the bright side i am out of the hospital nad they are no longer worried about my mental state since the words clinical depression was thrown around a bit. ( i was not a fan of being in the hospital nor eating their food - me nad the staff had some slight issues on that account. i was forced to drink ensure at one point)

    • Rinawa

      And it continues

      3 years ago

      So today was my two week follow-up after lung surgery.

      I wish i could say things went well.

      The long and the short of it is that i still have a collapsed lung. It is not that the surgery didnt work. It is that there is a section near the bottom of my lung that for whatever reason did not adhere to my chest wall. and in that section that did not adhere is a pocket of air. Where it came from they dont know, x-ray shows everything at the top of my lung where they did work and where the bubbles were is ok and adhered like it should.

      They want me to go back to the hospital for a chest tube. If i go in i dont know how long they will keep me exactly but it will be most likely at least a week or even longer.

      with all my heart i do not want to go. a part of me would rather live with a partial collapse than go through another chest tube. I have barely healed from the chest tube they had to do for the surgery. Hell they finally took the surtures out today from where the damn chest tube was from surgery.

      I just dont understand why, why me, why again. Third time is suposed to be the charm right? to have 4 chest tubes in one lifetime? hell in europe most people there with this thing have one rarely two chest tubes ever.

      The thing that has been the absolute hardest through all of this the thing i have had to endure and shore up what strength i have is in dealing with a chest tube nadthe aftermath it causes to have to do it all again. i dont know if i can anymore. I dont want to have this anymore, to do it again. i dont even have my full strength back to have to do it all again.

      How much more suffering can a person be forced to endure before they cant do it anymore.

    • Rinawa

      The Saga Continues

      3 years ago

      So ya'll know my lung collapsed last month.

      I was in the process of getting whatever records i needed to my old surgeon and then had to wait till he was free to take a look at them before i could get an appointment with him. And to boot he was on vacation for a week.

      knowing what i know all he would do would be to send me for a ct scan and then i would have to wait for another appointment till i could get the results and then finally get to figuring out what if anything to do about it.

      Well the wait was cut short, last Friday i had another collapse. I was driving to work in the morning and while driving it hit me. God only knows how i made it to work and into the building no less and when i got to my desk i collapsed into it and didn't move, i started to panic a little cause well breathing gets really hard at that point. By 8:15 an ambulance was called and i got taken away.

      I was taken to St. Luke's which is the network my family doc is on now, which is different from who did the surgery years ago cause he is at Lehigh Valley. calls were made and they decided to keep me there, and that i was going to deal with the Thorasic people there at St. Luke's rather than being moved all over the place.

      So a ct scan was done nad i got a nice quiet room all to my self. I was stuck there all weekend.

      The long and the short of it is i have a single bubble that keeps collapsing and it looks like it is going to keep on collapsing till something is done about it. So i get to have surgery - again.

      We don't know if this damn bubble is new or was so small 4 years ago that it was missed, the point is it is there and it is collapsing. Was able to get a printout of the ct scan and can see the bubble, it looks like one side is only as think as a pin point, and we guess that's where it is popping specifically.

      So Now for surgery, I go in on the 26Th. I will be out of work for a month. With me healing time might be a bit extended compared to others because i have had this done once before, i have scar tissue on my lung and that might make things a bit more difficult. For one my lung is adhered to my chest, for the most part and they most likely will have to take some of it down to get to the area, plus with the scar tissue they may not be able tot do what they would normally do as in staple the damn bubble which is what was done last time for the other bubbles ( which you can see real well in the ct scan but there are like a finger width away from this bubble) So they may have to use a chemical called talc, so do whatever they need to do. they wont know how they need to do it until they get in there and see how the scar tissue is.

      So yeah, i am 12 days from surgery, again.

      For now i am doing ok, still wheezing, but don't hurt as much, i think there still might be a ever so slight collapse in me but its not getting worse so all is good. I am under orders not to do anything strenuous at all and if any pain or wheezing increases then i need to get back to the ER asap, and if that happens surgery may come a lot sooner. But for now i am doing what i can, been out of work all week. and i go back Monday - going to have a lot to do to get ready for being out for a month.

  • About Me

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  • Comments (725)

    • Kittiegirl92

      Kittiegirl92

      5 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • jonnyx

      jonnyx

      5 years ago

      Happy Easter

    • setinflames

      setinflames

      6 years ago

      Still ,thank you for putting me back in the friends list.

    • setinflames

      setinflames

      6 years ago

      I agree with Kittygirl92 ,it does seem like preaching when it starts out like that.We all know he does,why keep telling us that?

    • Kittiegirl92

      Kittiegirl92

      6 years ago

      oh god i know it's like after telling him a bit about my past history he was like "it seems you're not dealing with these issues properly, you know Jesus loves you and can help"
      i threw up a little in my mouth at that. and doesn't consider that to be preaching? wtf?

    • zerocorp

      zerocorp

      6 years ago

      L.O.V.E.- BrownEyedGirls
      OMG IM SO IN L.O.V.E. WITH THIS SONG....PLEASE OH PLEASE LISTEN TO IT FOR ME, PLEASE? *begs

    • knuckles

      knuckles

      6 years ago

      Thanks for the tips. The insurance company (I really hated to have to claim it because I don't want my premimum to go up, but it was that and be out 500 or take my chances and it be several thousands...) said that if I go to one of their authorized repair centers then it would be warnteed for the life of my ownership of the car. I took it to the Toyota dealership in town because they have a large body shop. If you were curious I own a 2006 Hyundai Elantra.

    • zerocorp

      zerocorp

      6 years ago

      Hey you don't have a msn im do you?

    • Kittiegirl92

      Kittiegirl92

      6 years ago

      hey this is random but i'd just like to say thanks for being friends with both me and Jonnyx, if it wasn't for you we would never have started talking and been able to meet up with and i would have never realized how much of a great guy he is.
      so yea thanks. it's funny how people start talking on this site but for us it's because of you.

    • Whedabra

      Whedabra

      6 years ago

      Your first comment got a big +1Ditto, and your second got a HUGE +1Zing! It's nice to know you can actually relate to the situation more or less firsthand.