Rinawa

Female
from Allentown, PA

  • Activity

    • Time Flies

      2 years ago

      Rinawa

      Time seems to have flown by lately. Its hard to believe its been over a year since my entire life changed.

      As a short update - life is good, i am still married which his a but of a bummer - things are moving though slowly it feels sometimes. We have at least come to agreements on things but its the detail that need working out at this point. I have an apartment now with my wonderful boyfriend. And i am quite enjoying the freedom it is bringing me having something that's truly home.

      I don't paint much anymore, mostly because i don't have a defined work space yet - hopefully when i get some of my furniture back that might change but in the mean time i have taken a great interest in photography. i like the ability to capture a moment or see the details in small things that might not be noticed or looking at something in a different angle in capturing something beautiful. but i am learning my camera - a nikkon d3100 and getting off the automatic setting to really take control over my shots. ( i have a pinterest for that - message me if your interested in following it)

      All in all i am enjoying my life now more than i ever did before. i have a deeper appreciation not only of myself but my surroundings and more importantly my love. I finally feel more comfortable in my own skin and therefor more comfortable in so many other aspects of my life. Sometimes you don't realize what you were missing till you finally find it.

      So if i can remember i will try to pop on here more often. though no promises. i am afraid since leaving HIM i don't follow RVB as much, but then my life was fairly inundated with mass amounts the sound of Halo playing on xbox, when you deal with that much regularly you wanna get away from it for a while. decompress if you will.

    • Changes

      3 years ago

      Rinawa

      So, think its time to update everyone and fill in some blanks for those of you on my Facebook.

      The long and the short of it is me and rich are splitting. We have had some long standing issues over the years that we never really addressed and hoped would just go away but obviously they didn't. It was mostly a communication issue and we missintupreted each other and took things the wrong way. And we were too naive to realize it and make changes when it would have been best.

      The point is I am not happy and it's not fair for rich to be stuck in a relationship like that.

      So we are working on splitting, hopefully amicably.


      Don't worry about me, I really am ok. I am finding my self and my happiness and its going better than good.

    • A hypothetical if you please.

      4 years ago

      Rinawa

      Person A and person B, they do not get along, person B hates A with a passion while person A is sad by the hate but somewhat understanding it as it is to an extent justified.

      They come face to face in a neutral location. Knowing the hatred is there Person A says" Its's all right" as they leave, Person B ignores them and turns away as if they are not there.

      Which is being Juvenile? Is A being condescending toward B?

    • Quick Update

      4 years ago

      Rinawa

      Had my 2 week follow up appointment on Monday.

      Everything looks good, but to be on the safe side the doctor wants to see me one more time but in February. In the mean time i can go back to work on Jan 20th (or sooner if i really want, which i don't)

      now is the task of doing more to get back endurance from doing just about everything since i was not permitted nor able to do much of anything.

    • The beginning of the end

      4 years ago

      Rinawa

      I think the end is finally in sight. as it has been a few weeks this is going to be a highly abbreviated readers digest version.

      on November 14th i went back into the hospital because i still had a collapsed lung. they put a chest tube in and ended up keeping me until the wednesday before thanksgiving.

      while in there i had then quiet baffled to a certain extent. after puting in a chest tube and having me sit for almost the entire week nothing improved. So that friday they tried a procedure. it had a 50% chance of working. what the tried was they took blood from me then injected that blood into the chest tube and around my lung. the idea was that the blood would conjeal nad stop the leak. it was suposed to take 24 to 48 hours to know if it worked.

      after 48 hours i showed only slight improvement. they created an intermitten leak instead of a continuous slow leak in my lung. that tuesday they wanted to attempt to actually find the leak and put a valve in. That valve is considered experiemental. only 4 thousand cases a year end up needing that vaqlve, the FDA does not have a case study on it as of yet although in all cases the valve helps. that vaqlve is n ot permeant it only stays in for a few months then is removed - its in only long enoguh for your lung to heal on its own.

      the procedure took twice as long as expected, they couldnt find the leak.

      instead they changed the tube in my so it could be fitted with an external valve which is common and not experimental in the slightest. hence they let me go home the next day - just in time for thanksgiving.

      the chest tube stayed in for a whole week befroe they finally this past monday took it out. as of yet the x-ray shows everythng is fine. god only hopes it stays that way. i follow up in two weeks again.

      eventaully when things heal up a bit nad the brusing fades i post a pick of my new scars as now i have three more to ad to my "collection" it just sucks since wearing certain articles of clothing is out of hte question shuch as bras or those damn tank tops with shelf bras.

      but atleast on the bright side i am out of the hospital nad they are no longer worried about my mental state since the words clinical depression was thrown around a bit. ( i was not a fan of being in the hospital nor eating their food - me nad the staff had some slight issues on that account. i was forced to drink ensure at one point)

    • And it continues

      4 years ago

      Rinawa

      So today was my two week follow-up after lung surgery.

      I wish i could say things went well.

      The long and the short of it is that i still have a collapsed lung. It is not that the surgery didnt work. It is that there is a section near the bottom of my lung that for whatever reason did not adhere to my chest wall. and in that section that did not adhere is a pocket of air. Where it came from they dont know, x-ray shows everything at the top of my lung where they did work and where the bubbles were is ok and adhered like it should.

      They want me to go back to the hospital for a chest tube. If i go in i dont know how long they will keep me exactly but it will be most likely at least a week or even longer.

      with all my heart i do not want to go. a part of me would rather live with a partial collapse than go through another chest tube. I have barely healed from the chest tube they had to do for the surgery. Hell they finally took the surtures out today from where the damn chest tube was from surgery.

      I just dont understand why, why me, why again. Third time is suposed to be the charm right? to have 4 chest tubes in one lifetime? hell in europe most people there with this thing have one rarely two chest tubes ever.

      The thing that has been the absolute hardest through all of this the thing i have had to endure and shore up what strength i have is in dealing with a chest tube nadthe aftermath it causes to have to do it all again. i dont know if i can anymore. I dont want to have this anymore, to do it again. i dont even have my full strength back to have to do it all again.

      How much more suffering can a person be forced to endure before they cant do it anymore.

    • The Saga Continues

      4 years ago

      Rinawa

      So ya'll know my lung collapsed last month.

      I was in the process of getting whatever records i needed to my old surgeon and then had to wait till he was free to take a look at them before i could get an appointment with him. And to boot he was on vacation for a week.

      knowing what i know all he would do would be to send me for a ct scan and then i would have to wait for another appointment till i could get the results and then finally get to figuring out what if anything to do about it.

      Well the wait was cut short, last Friday i had another collapse. I was driving to work in the morning and while driving it hit me. God only knows how i made it to work and into the building no less and when i got to my desk i collapsed into it and didn't move, i started to panic a little cause well breathing gets really hard at that point. By 8:15 an ambulance was called and i got taken away.

      I was taken to St. Luke's which is the network my family doc is on now, which is different from who did the surgery years ago cause he is at Lehigh Valley. calls were made and they decided to keep me there, and that i was going to deal with the Thorasic people there at St. Luke's rather than being moved all over the place.

      So a ct scan was done nad i got a nice quiet room all to my self. I was stuck there all weekend.

      The long and the short of it is i have a single bubble that keeps collapsing and it looks like it is going to keep on collapsing till something is done about it. So i get to have surgery - again.

      We don't know if this damn bubble is new or was so small 4 years ago that it was missed, the point is it is there and it is collapsing. Was able to get a printout of the ct scan and can see the bubble, it looks like one side is only as think as a pin point, and we guess that's where it is popping specifically.

      So Now for surgery, I go in on the 26Th. I will be out of work for a month. With me healing time might be a bit extended compared to others because i have had this done once before, i have scar tissue on my lung and that might make things a bit more difficult. For one my lung is adhered to my chest, for the most part and they most likely will have to take some of it down to get to the area, plus with the scar tissue they may not be able tot do what they would normally do as in staple the damn bubble which is what was done last time for the other bubbles ( which you can see real well in the ct scan but there are like a finger width away from this bubble) So they may have to use a chemical called talc, so do whatever they need to do. they wont know how they need to do it until they get in there and see how the scar tissue is.

      So yeah, i am 12 days from surgery, again.

      For now i am doing ok, still wheezing, but don't hurt as much, i think there still might be a ever so slight collapse in me but its not getting worse so all is good. I am under orders not to do anything strenuous at all and if any pain or wheezing increases then i need to get back to the ER asap, and if that happens surgery may come a lot sooner. But for now i am doing what i can, been out of work all week. and i go back Monday - going to have a lot to do to get ready for being out for a month.

  • About Me

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  • Comments (725)

    • Kittiegirl92

      6 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • jonnyx FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Happy Easter

    • setinflames

      7 years ago

      Still ,thank you for putting me back in the friends list.

    • setinflames

      7 years ago

      I agree with Kittygirl92 ,it does seem like preaching when it starts out like that.We all know he does,why keep telling us that?

    • Kittiegirl92

      7 years ago

      oh god i know it's like after telling him a bit about my past history he was like "it seems you're not dealing with these issues properly, you know Jesus loves you and can help"
      i threw up a little in my mouth at that. and doesn't consider that to be preaching? wtf?

    • zerocorp

      7 years ago

      L.O.V.E.- BrownEyedGirls
      OMG IM SO IN L.O.V.E. WITH THIS SONG....PLEASE OH PLEASE LISTEN TO IT FOR ME, PLEASE? *begs

    • knuckles

      7 years ago

      Thanks for the tips. The insurance company (I really hated to have to claim it because I don't want my premimum to go up, but it was that and be out 500 or take my chances and it be several thousands...) said that if I go to one of their authorized repair centers then it would be warnteed for the life of my ownership of the car. I took it to the Toyota dealership in town because they have a large body shop. If you were curious I own a 2006 Hyundai Elantra.

    • zerocorp

      7 years ago

      Hey you don't have a msn im do you?

    • Kittiegirl92

      7 years ago

      hey this is random but i'd just like to say thanks for being friends with both me and Jonnyx, if it wasn't for you we would never have started talking and been able to meet up with and i would have never realized how much of a great guy he is.
      so yea thanks. it's funny how people start talking on this site but for us it's because of you.

    • Whedabra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Kyovaer

      8 years ago

      Your first comment got a big +1Ditto, and your second got a HUGE +1Zing! It's nice to know you can actually relate to the situation more or less firsthand.

    • Whedabra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Kyovaer

      8 years ago

      *nods*

      That's pretty much my life's story too, though different in a lot of ways. In the end I decided to come to my own conclusions... though at the moment I've not got it all figured out... but I've got enough figured out. In the end the bible teaches us to love, and everything else should be based off of that. What's loving and what's not... and that's what's at the core of my beliefs. Sure I might not be able to follow it all the time, but more often than not I'm able to make (in my opinion) the right decisions.

    • Whedabra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Kyovaer

      8 years ago

      Wow, I never knew that about you! But that's a perfect example, it's something I don't totally agree with, but you won't hear me saying anything negative about it to you nor to anyone else. I can say the same thing about Catholics as well... though I will make comments about how creepy some of their traditions are. And believe it or not, there is still a part of me that protests my being with Val... but that's only from the deeply ingrained idea that having a same sex relationship is bad...

      I know we never talk much, and don't have much in common either, but I do truly appreciate you always being there, even if it's just voicing your opinion or point of view. What you have to say always has value to me. Thank you smiley1.gif .

    • Whedabra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Kyovaer

      8 years ago

      why cant they just say ok, you are doing something that personally i do not find right by my beliefs but you are still a friend and i will be there for you and stand by you always and show that you are always welcome to come back in the hopes that maybe one day you may come back? wouldnt that be the best example they can show you raher than being ignorant and intolerant?

      i am willing to bet that their church if they knew how they are behaving to you would be ashamed of them for showing such a poor example of how a proper person in the religion should be, right in front of them is a perfect example to show true compasion and true divotion and all they can do it turn their backs on you and belittle and demean you.


      You hit it on the head right there! That's more the way it's supposed to be. But the truth is so twisted up with what everyone else thinks, and what everyone else thinks everyone else thinks... that the basic principles are lost... It's a shame really... an even bigger shame I was expecting all of this to happen... they're so predictable... For once I would like to be proven wrong with this situation smiley3.gif .

      I've really appreciated the support from my friends on here who are themselves strait, and may not agree with my personal choices, and yet they still treat me as a friend. It's not like I'm going to be a corrupting influence on them or something... and aside from what I've posted in my journals, I don't flaunt my sexuality and life choices in front of others. It all boils down to fear... and I feel very sorry for all of them, because their lives are filled with it. Fear of others, fear of death, fear of vengeance from a god that is said to be loving, but they are convinced will strike them down if they don't obsessively worship him and separate themselves from "those who stray from the flock" or something along those lines. I'm not afraid, so therefore I'm free... and they just don't understand that...

      I feel sorry for them, they just don't understand...

    • Whedabra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Kyovaer

      8 years ago

      Thank you for the advice. We actually now have restraining orders against both of them 1. for my mom 2. for our duplex 3. for the house. They will be getting them served to them within the next couple of days.

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Host of Glib Shark

      8 years ago

      RT Philly

      Check it out, yo, check it check it out.

    • pygmywarior

      8 years ago

      how can you like the dresden files and the shadow, is alec baldwin an ex or something?

      as im stuck in merry old england do you know if the dresden files is ever coming back we are a bit behind you. as sid james might say.

    • tomii FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      Well, if it was about me, then it was likely both laziness and stupidity...

      I'm well-rounded that way.

      smiley4.gif

    • tomii FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      Heh - glad you liked it. I occasionally get all riled up.

      It happens more often than I'd like to admit.

      I suppose it comes with the high-stress job and 4 kids.

      smiley7.gif

    • Whedabra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Kyovaer

      8 years ago

      It's amazing isn't it, how you can never really tell where life will take you. No matter how much you plan, how much you speculate, or how much effort you put into it. You can think about something for years and it never changes a thing, but then just one single night can change your life, your outlook, your relationships... I'm sorry you're so well acquainted with the situation I spoke about in my journal, but at the same time I'm glad. It can teach you one of the most valuable lessons of all... never take your life, or the life of those around you for granite. Thank you so much for commenting smiley1.gif .

    • Cobra16

      8 years ago

      Holy Crap!!!! I never thought of that! Now i gotta go try that! ^_^

      Thanks Karen smiley8.gif

    • MastaChief3

      8 years ago

      Hey, if you could check out my journal, that would be great. I posted two, so read the one thats before the "newest one" they both go together. Thanks.

    • b0mb3r

      8 years ago

      hello needs your help.
      go to this link and vote for me please
      www.roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=1889312&page=1#c11443895

    • dadam

      8 years ago

      thanks for the advice. i've been giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's been being rude and inconsiderate because of stress from school but thats been going on too long. i do really need to talk to him but i've been dreading it. i think hes the kind of person who would chalk up my issues with how hes acting as some hate anti gay thing and i'm not like that. hew's just waaaaaaay to sensitive i think. anyway thanks again for the advice

    • ythpstrmoby

      8 years ago

      don't shoot me for making a joke to try and make you smile.... after a hard day my normal reaction is to make people laugh... or at least try to:P

    • knuckles

      8 years ago

      Hey you've been tagged. Check out my latest journal.

    • SpitFireJay

      8 years ago

      bumblebee banana dance! lol.

    • Kittiegirl92

      8 years ago

      it totally is the best. so amazing.

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN HIT BY..

      ............|\
      ............| \
      ............|_\
      ...______|__________
      ...\___ A BOAT_____/
      ....\_____________/

      which probably makes you pretty angry. I'd be pissed too.

      Fucker came out of no where

    • Doc69

      9 years ago

      yeah the players on Halo live sometimes make me want to give up gaming. so many A$$holes online its scary

    • Kittiegirl92

      9 years ago

      yea i know i was totally crazy for getting books the first day but well i've got a lot of reading due friday so i thought i'd get a jump on it. i already had half my books and found out first day the other half were at the other bookstore across the street. it's annoying not all the professors use the hunter book store to get books through. they use the little one across the street. i'd never seen such a horrible line and i've gotten then on the first day before.

    • elelisa

      9 years ago

      fair enough
      and you should have more post ESPICALLY because you just had surgery. I don't know about you but when I'm bored posts are the first thing I go for.
      glad to hear your going well. I love getting stuff when I'm sick. call me greedy but it makes everything feel just that much more ok :)
      Take care!

      Later
      -Lisa

    • Lux_Tannin

      9 years ago

      haha ya Rich was like ..."ok so what ....don't call me at work with this crap"......hahhahaha

    • Lux_Tannin

      9 years ago

      Hey thanks for telling me .....supposedly its been up there for a while and I had no clue......funny huh?

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Hey, sorry to hear about your cat. I hope she is doing better.

    • notkilledyet

      9 years ago

      Yes ,P.A. was ok. I saw my Dad and step-mom and my two little sisters. Ahhhh it is a place called Huntingdon over on 22 ,45 mins away from Altoona. If I had the time and gas I would drove over . I have a map though now and I think getting to you guys shouldn't be too hard . Just right now I am broke and the car may die . Good news is I did see the Transformers movie and loved it... Times up so give Rich a hi for me . thanks Johnny

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Haha, that was funny. Thanks Karen. I agree. She could have just said congratulations, and nothing else. Oh well, thats how she wants to act, whatever. She lost a friend who is caring, honest, decent, and not like "every other guy" out there. Her loss.

    • CrazyNa

      9 years ago

      we have already reported it to the police, and we are most likely going to be pressing charges against cruelty with intent and theft, as he was took off our property.

      he is fine now. just a bit nervous. but hes had lots of cuddles!!

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Thanks Karen. I really apreciate the comment. I talked to her today, and were good now. she told me kinda the same thing. Thank you though.

    • ImmortalRain

      9 years ago

      heh heh, yeah, your in for a surprise lol

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Oh yeah! forgot! Where do you work now?

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Soo, when I was in Arizona this past weekend I saw an CVS. I was like "Woah, Karen works at CVS." Lol. I didn't go into it though.

    • docdawolf

      9 years ago

      Are you starting to feel better yet ?

      Doc

    • Natoski

      9 years ago

      Sweet. I'd like that a lot if you could just give me a ring anytime. Believe. Compared to what I'm around now, there won't be much tha'll turn me away. Thanks for the invite, will definantly take you up on the offer when it arises.

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      crazy. What did you do during the weekend? sounds intense.

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Hey, hows it going?

    • elelisa

      9 years ago

      I completely agree that it's not all teachers fault. my brother is a gym teacher and he's sooo limited to what he can do for these kids because he's a gym teacher for both boys and girls. the problem is he is also a god looking 28 year old and all the girls want to "get to know him a little better" but all he wants to do is teach them. and some of the male students are even giving him the "are you saying that because I'm black?" and the poor guy has only worked in this school for 3 weeks MAX. how is he supposed to teach them that that was the stupidist thing in the world to do to somebody else and teach them respect when your being held with soo many rules that the students KNOW they have all power over you? they don't have to do a lick of work in their life as long as their powerful.
      Take care hun

      Later
      -Lisa

    • docdawolf

      9 years ago

      I was just passing by and I noticed your Profile. I read through it and I loved what I read.

      I was just wondering if it's ok that I get to know you better.

      Doc

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      hey, whats up?

    • elelisa

      9 years ago

      yea, I never really liked the news beacuse it always mae me feel like there was somthing there that they wern't tell me... like I should just believe them and be on my way. and if they were ever asked the question "why?" it's because their the news and they said so. and it can be used and manipulated to instill fear, or certain ideas to the average viewer because who else is there to believe for this sort of information?
      it just irks me no matter what way you look at it...
      take care hun

      Later
      -Lisa

    • MastaChief3

      9 years ago

      Lastnights episode was awesome! I didnt expect Anders at all though to be a cylon! thats just crazy! Im happy that Starbuck is back. Thats made the show awesome. 4th seasons first episode is gonna have alot of explaining to do though... Cant wait!

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