SNPmarty009 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

from Edmonton, Canada

  • Activity

    • Journal time

      1 year ago


      I turn 26 this weekend, but that will not effect the continued turbulence of my personal journey. Time will force us to grow, our needs will force us to suffer, yet we continue to push towards our goals. I have discovered that, ambitious or not, none of us sit still. We all move forward, whether we are riding a high or climbing toward something beyond our reach, we will always move forward. One of the founding ideals of American economics is the idea of the invisible hand, this force that relies on humanity's instincts of survival for the progression of society. I feel the invisible hand now more than ever.

      I lost my job last week, walking away from what was essentially the final dead end of my life. I feel like I've let myself underachieve for the final time. I've been offered positions since then that would continue that cycle, but I simply don't believe these trades, these offers to give me what I need to get by in exchange for time that would otherwise be spent on personal growth, are worth it anymore. I know I'm meant to do something more important. I don't aspire to grandeur by any means, but this blue collar world I've been trapped in is no place for the intellectual, millennial personality that I have become.

      I can no longer pretend I don't believe I am more intelligent and capable than my boss, or his. I can no longer act as though this mindless labor work is enough for me. Time to change. The following is a marker for those of us who struggle with change, with achieving what we believe we should, and becoming the people we believe we were meant to be.

      We are limited by our actions. In any venture, the currency of the realm is always paramount to our ability to adapt. In this world, to be strong and to be strong financially are essentially the same thing. The path to strength is therefore very simple. Hard work is the universal language of success. To achieve is to outwork the rest.

      So if this world of technological minds were to ask me what the secret to success is, I would tell them to ask someone who has actually succeeded at something. Yet, in the back of my mind, I know the answer. Motivation, an emotion controlled by chemical reactions just like anger and hunger, can be controlled. It is a mixture of desire and fear, normal emotions that we run into every day. A problem that many of us will face is the reality that we don't wish to be afraid. We are taught not to desire, though our world of infinite capitalism will teach us that our desires are easily manipulated. To motivate ourselves properly must be akin to placing ourselves at the mercy of our own experimentation, something that shouldn't be too unfamiliar in our diluted culture of self-help and self-medication.

      The first step is to discover a goal. Find what you want, something else that is fairly easy to discern once you strip away all of capitalisms influences. It is likely the only thing that you think about that you haven't seen a commercial for or haven't noticed amongst the media that you absorb on a daily basis. Not to say you didn't discover it through media, but it is likely a recurring thought amongst your desires, something you might not have received stimulus for in weeks or months, yet it still haunts you like a baconator on a particularly hungry afternoon. Once you have it, once you are sure, begin to choke yourself into it. This is a dangerous game, but for me and for people like me, it is far less dangerous than the idea of living a meaningless life of dysfunction and depression.

      By choking, I don't literally mean trying to strangle yourself of course. I simply mean that you should identify the crutches and escapes that you employ in your life that might be doing too good a job for you to realize. Video games, youtube, cinema and literature are all forms of art that have immense value and impact on our lives. They give colour to our world and can add perspective to our journeys. Yet to over indulge in them can lead to negative impacts on the pieces of our instincts that rely on negative impulses to be our guide. To spend our lives observing cultural media is to live a life of perspective and joy. Yet distracting ourselves from the fear of death(for example) will not change the outcome of our limited existence. We must understand our minds, understand our vices, so that we may discern between what is therapy and what is overindulgence. I do not mean to say that you should cut out anything in the world that brings you joy, but I must tell you that to take a break from something you enjoy in order to find your true path is not sacrifice.

      From there, your path will surface. As you choke yourself of external stigma you will recognize desires that previously held no power over you to become titanic forces in your thoughts. This is the reality of the millennials world, a place where culture and joy is at our fingertips at all times. The true path to your success is hidden in the balance that your genetics had no chance to adapt to. It is hidden in your mind, addled by the knowledge we were never exposed to. It has always been there, waiting in the reeds like a wild pokemon, waiting for you to notice it for what it really is. Go out and capture it, just like Satoshi Tajiri intended.

    • Got blocked by burnie today for something I said on twitter and my heart broke into a million pieces

      1 year ago


      I guess it's just one of those things where we get too attached to our idols and role models, but today I got blocked by burnie for making what I thought was a witty remark about how beautiful AshleyJ is, but in hindsight I can admit it could be viewed as a borderline remark about their relationship. Anyway, I'm a huge fan of practically everything Burnie has done in his life and am kind of shellshocked today that I won't ever see one of his witty comments on my primary social media stream. I absolutely know that getting blocked on twitter is one of the biggest first world problems ever and before making the statement I couldn't possibly imagine that I would care about something so trivial, but I am honestly really sad today that I won't get to see him in my feed. Here's to one of the most influential people of the 21st century, and to my prayers that he will someday randomly unblock me and make my world complete again. Honestly he might have just ruined twitter for me lol.

      I am definitely wondering why we're here.

    • Germany!

      6 years ago


      so I assumed that being an international referee working in the most prestigious international tournament of the most widely accepted sport in the world, you might know the rules a bit.

      I hate to be this guy. I hate this guy and I really don't like having to step into this guys shoes. but...


      so we didn't play great. we actually looked pretty good playing with a man down. but serbia? really? serbia? spain lost to switzerland yesterday. do we really need to show them up that way?

      that being said, let's be honest. Fuck serbia, we'll beat the shit out of ghana on wednesday and well take this tourney by storm. once again.


  • About Me

    Hockey player, amateur writer, guy who drifts on the road while daydreaming about planets and stuff.

  • Comments (2)

    • Fishguy

      10 years ago

      Hey, come check out what is sure to be an absolutely awesome RvB community event! Click on the image:

    • Opaque

      11 years ago

      Yeah, pendings were deleted.

      I sent you a new one. smiley1.gif

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