Steffasaurus

Female
from Portland, ME

    • Steffasaurus

      DayZ

      7 months ago

      So... I'm obsessed with DayZ. I've now played a dozen-ish lives (and have been Tweeting about their demise each time), and can't seem to get enough. I'm not sure why since I die ALL THE TIME - dehydration, starvation, freezing, falling off stairs - the obvious stuff, right? Anyway, if any of you play and want to connect (and maybe not murder me in cold blood just because I'm a girl - which happened recently) LET ME KNOW. I usually do an excellent job at hoarding cans of food and jugs of water.

      Which I'm guessing surprises no one.

      Hugs,
      Steff(asaurus)

    • Steffasaurus

      Eat The Year

      9 months ago

      Hello, old friends! So, It's been a billion years (okay, more like two) since I last posted anything on here. Life has just been crazy! There's been a move, an incredible new job, loads of travel, and an amazing opportunity - the last of which I want to share with my RvB family.

      Since I've last seen you, I got an agent and we signed a book deal with Running Press! And last week the book - which is based off my attempt to eat all the national food holidays - released!

      15356914617_eebb4bb917_n.jpg

      EAT THE YEAR is a tribute to food-lovers everywhere and a fun calendar cookbook that introduces a national food or drink holiday for every day of the year. Neatly organized by month and day, the book includes 366 food-related quotes from pop culture (one for each day of the year '“ even Leap Day), fun food facts and trivia, cute commentary, and a little bit of food history. Also included are 50 delicious, easy-to-make recipes complete with whimsical two-color line drawings all packed into one fascinating culinary journey.

      I'll try to be more active on RvB again, but if you want to find me elsewhere I post regularly on Almanac Of Eats and semi-regularly at SteffDeschenes.com (and both those sites have all my social media links, too).

      Miss you all!
      Steff(asaurus)

    • Steffasaurus

      Fact is Better

      3 years ago

      Bon Appletite

      After drinking one too many martini's, The Photographer and I decided to stumble back to his apartment up through the city. Along our route, we passed a Subway with a giant sign advertising that they currently had avocado available for their sandwiches. It said in big, bold, italicized letters "BRAVOCADO!" This ignited something in The Photographer and the following tirade ensued...

      The Photographer: "I don't like 'Bravocado.' I don't get it."
      Me: "Because it's avocado season at Subway. And they're cheering themselves on for it. Bravo. Avocado... Bravocado."
      The Photographer: "No, I understand that. I just think it's stupid. They aren't the opera. They aren't an orchestra. They aren't a conductor. Why are we telling them bravo?! BRAVO FOR HAVING AVOCADOS?! That's just stupid."
      Me: "I think you think it's stupid, because you didn't come up with it. And some smarmy marketing guy got paid handsomely for that contribution to the world."
      The Photographer: *deadly serious* "No, I think it's stupid because it's stupid. If they wanted to be creative... if they wanted to be clever... they would get apples to put on their sandwiches. Then they could say, 'Bon Appletite!'"


      This kept us entertained for as long as we could remember it... which we didn't when we reached his house a few blocks later.

      True story.

      And further proof that fact is better than fiction.

    • Steffasaurus

      Fact is Better

      3 years ago

      The Continuing Saga of Dr. Crazy Beard

      As I mentioned recently, my friend - we'll call her "The Runner" - and I go to Starbucks multiple times a week. Every time we go, there's a group of doctors who are also there. One of them in particular (with facial hair that sticks out in every direction) has taken quite a shining to me and the last time we were there he decided to approach me about... my feet, because he was fascinated that I always wore flip-flops, and that they always matched what I was wearing.

      Today, our relationship got a little more... deep.

      Dr. Crazy Beard: *points to his shoes then his belt, both of which are the same color* "I made sure that my shoes and belt matched today for you."
      Me: *jokingly* "Nice! I painted my toenails for you."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: *his eyes light up and he comes rushing towards me* "You did really?!"
      Me: "I mean... it's clear polish, but... uh... there still very shiny."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "They look great! They really do! So where do you guys work?" *he looks back and forth at my friend's and my pants* "I mean, I get to wear pajamas to work, but you guys... you wear jeans."
      Me: "We're beer girls."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "What?" *he looks at me like I couldn't have just said what I did*
      Me: "We're beer girls."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "You're... you're beer girls?"
      Me: "Beer girls, yup. Tonight we're the Dos XX Girls. So, we'll go to a bar and giveaway free stuff, buy some beers, promote the product."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Seriously?"
      Me: "Yes."
      The Runner: "That's not our real job. We work in contract manufacturing. I'm a buyer."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "You're a buyer? Do you buy people?"
      The Runner: "I do. I'm into slave trade."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: *clearly uninterested in her, he quickly refocuses his attention on me.* "And you?"
      Me: "I'm a report maker. I... uh... I make reports."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Well, that makes sense. If you're buying people and making reports, I guess you can wear jeans to work then."
      Me: "And flip-flops, and have piercings and tattoos."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "That's true... your right arm. It's got vines and flowers on it, right?"
      Me: *taken aback that he has remembered this very accurate detail about me* "Uh... yeah... apple blossoms. That's very observant!"
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Well, it's because I can see through your jacket. You also changed your nose ring today."
      Me: "Ummmmmmmmm. I did, yes. It's, uh, y'know, a red stone now to match the red in the Dos XX logo for tonight. I told you: I'm a fashion icon."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "No doubt! Where will you be a beer girl tonight?"
      Me: "Both Margaritas in Portland."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "I live in Portland. But I'll be in Freeport tonight."
      Me: "There won't be girls there. I mean, there'll be girls. But not beer girls. But, hey, if you're in the area, you should come buy. We'll buy you a beer."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: *still zoned in on me, ignoring The Runner* "You'll buy me a beer?!"
      Me: "Well, I get paid to buy people beer. So, it's really not that big of a deal."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "I like the Most Interesting Man In the World."
      Me: "Oh, well, he won't be there tonight."
      The Runner: "But a cut-out of him probably will be."
      Me: "We'll take a picture for you."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Really? You'll show me next time? Great!"


      Great indeed, Dr. Crazy Beard-who-I-stalked-a-little-online-and-found-out-that-you're-a-podiatrist-thus-explaining-yesterdays-foot-obsession! I think you can't figure me out and are intrigued as a result. Really, who wouldn't be?

      Anyway... what the hell is going on here?!

      And is it wrong that I kind of like these awkward run-ins we're having?

      True story.

      Further proof that fact is better than fiction!

    • Steffasaurus

      Fact is Better

      3 years ago

      Grocery Store Feet

      A couple times a week a friend/coworker and I go to Starbucks to treat ourselves. Whenever we go, there's always this group of three or four doctors who are also there. One is my friend's lady part doctor, and another always wears his blue scrubs and has dark hair and a dark beard that sticks out in all directions. He's kinda cute, but he looks really intense and . . . well . . . a little mad scientisty.

      We've seen them, they've seen us, for many, many months now, but we've never exchanged words (well, except when my friend's vajayjay doctor realized who she was and awkwardly said hello to her). Well, today, the one with the crazy ass beard strolled right up to me and engaged in a conversation like we had known each other forever.

      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Do your feet get cold?"
      Me: *totally use to this question, because I get it all the time, I answer nonchalantly:* "No. I actually wear flip-flops every day."
      *he stares at me confused*
      Me: "Like every day every day. Like the whole year long. And I have every color of the rainbow so that I can always match them to what I'm wearing. I wouldn't want to be a fashion faux pas."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Right, no, I'm not questioning your obviously well put-together look. I'm just wondering... do you have grocery store feet?"
      Me: "I don't have hobbit feet if that's what you're asking!"
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "Well, yes, I can see that there's no fur on them."
      Me: "That's because I shave it off."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: *he perks up and really excited asks* "You shave your feet?!"
      Me: "No. I was kidding."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: *deflates a little* "Oh, okay. So you don't have grocery store feet?"
      Me: "I don't know what that is."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "You don't know what grocery store feet is? Okay, so when I worked in the South people who wore flip-flops all the time would get really, really gnarly, yucky heels. They'd be all discolored and cracked. That's grocery store feet. I mean, I don't know, maybe it's a southern thing. I'm sure you could look it up on UrbanDictionary.com if you wanted to see pictures or something. But... do you have it?"
      Me: "No. But, I do use bag balm to take care of my feet."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: *again, perks up and excitedly asks:* "So you're into personal grooming?!"
      Me: "Um . . . yeah . . . I mean . . . yeah."
      Dr. Crazy Beard: "That's cool."


      Yes. I suppose that is cool.

      I should have asked him if he had grocery store face. Y'know, since his face can't breathe because there's a dead animal... I mean beard... growing on it. I always think of the good comebacks too late.

      Anyway - true story!

      And further proof that fact is better than fiction.

    • Steffasaurus

      Thank you...

      3 years ago

      Tonight, my mom surpassed her fundraising goal for the MS Walk thanks to the generosity and kindness of folks like you! She wanted me to pass along the following sentiment . . .

      "Wow - I am humbled and blessed by the outpouring of support and love you have all given me. On Saturday I will be walking slowly, with my cane, and with a joy-filled heart! I look forward to the day when there is a cure for this life-altering disease, and I thank you for supporting that day as well. Thank you so much – hugs, Dell :)"

    • Steffasaurus

      MS Walk THIS Saturday

      3 years ago

      Hi friends . . .

      A couple weeks ago I posted a journal about my Mom. She's one of the best people I know, but unfortunately she has Multiple Sclerosis. Web MD defines MS as "a disease that affects the brain and spinal cord resulting in loss of muscle control, vision, balance, and sensation (such as numbness). With MS, the nerves of the brain and spinal cord are damaged by one's own immune system. Thus, the condition is called an autoimmune disease."

      There is no cure for MS, but there is constant research into trying to find one.

      THIS Saturday (April 28th) is the MS walk in my area. That sassy lady of mine will be attempting the one-mile route with her cane, Emily, if necessary.

      If you're interested, and I hope you are, you can sponsor her journey! She's still shy of her goal, and it would such a blessing to get her there. Even $5 makes a world of difference.

      Hugs,
      Steff(saurus)

      P.S.
      To those of you who've already given, you touched my mom's heart (no, seriously, you made her cry. In the good way, that is!). She wanted me to send along her thanks and humble appreciation.

    • Steffasaurus

      MS Walk

      3 years ago

      Hi friends . . .

      As some of you know, my mom - one of my best friends in the whole world - has Multiple Sclerosis. Web MD defines MS as "a disease that affects the brain and spinal cord resulting in loss of muscle control, vision, balance, and sensation (such as numbness). With MS, the nerves of the brain and spinal cord are damaged by one's own immune system. Thus, the condition is called an autoimmune disease."

      There is no cure for MS, but there is constant research into trying to find one.

      Saturday, April 28th is the MS walk in my area. My step-dad and a good friend of the family will be walking the 5 miles in her honor, and she - that sassy lady - will be attempting the one-mile route with her cane, Emily, if necessary.

      If you're interested, and I hope you are, you can sponsor her journey!

      Hugs,
      Steff(saurus)

  • About Me

    I celebrate food at AlmanacofEats.com. I also just released my first cookbook called EAT THE YEAR, which is all about the national food holidays!

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  • Comments (1375)

    • Suto_Griff

      Suto_Griff

      2 years ago

      Hey, are you working for these people yet?!

      • Suto_Griff

        Suto_Griff

        2 years ago

        Yea, I thought you'd like that. See if you can hook that up for yourself, specially since they are Maine based.

        And the food they've got is DELICIOUS!!!

      • Steffasaurus

        Steffasaurus

        2 years ago

        I had never even heard of these people. AND SHAME ON THEM FOR HAVING NEVER HEARD OF ME! Will work on this pronto :)

    • AgentTank

      AgentTank I AM KROGAN

      2 years ago

      I miss your food journals!!

    • Patrick

      Patrick Nerf Herder

      2 years ago

      Wow, you and your pictures in journals just dropped off the face of the Earth. Everything okay?

      • Patrick

        Patrick Nerf Herder

        2 years ago

        Yep!

      • Steffasaurus

        Steffasaurus

        2 years ago

        Someone is very observant ;)

    • WomanFriday

      WomanFriday

      2 years ago

      I miss your daily food updates.

    • Locken

      Locken

      2 years ago

      You need to teach your bunny to do this...
      tumblr_mg7xgzQhth1ql2603o1_500.gif

      • Locken

        Locken

        2 years ago

        Hahaha, yes that is awesome.

      • Steffasaurus

        Steffasaurus

        2 years ago

        I sure do. His favorite trick is waiting for you to place your glass on the ground so he can charge it, knock it over, roll around in whatever liquid he spilled, then glaring at you when you clean it up. Pretty awesome, if you ask me.

    • Juls

      Juls Blam Bitches

      2 years ago

      Hey,

      So I know from your Almanac of Eats that you have quite a lot of experience having to transform recipes to eat vegetarian and even sometimes vegan. My co-worker has some serious food restrictions to the point where she basically eats vegetarian or vegan most of the time. She deals with it okay, but around holidays it really starts to suck for her. I was wondering if you knew of any good vegan subs for baking ingredients (like butter) or just any good vegan recipes for cookies in general. I would really like to bake for her, but I grew up in a family where biscuits are made with shortening not butter and ham is found in green beans, so I have no real place to begin when it comes to finding what vegan recipes work and what doesn't and what products to use.

      • Steffasaurus

        Steffasaurus

        2 years ago

        I am sending you a private message now!

    • Patrick

      Patrick Nerf Herder

      2 years ago

      Steph, I have been wondering... I have been following you for 2 years now. What do you do for a living?

      • Patrick

        Patrick Nerf Herder

        2 years ago

        The most boring job ever. I am a Branch Manager of some rental car stores. Nothing fun to write home home about.

      • Steffasaurus

        Steffasaurus

        2 years ago

        I am a full-time writer at the moment.... part-time social media expert for a tattoo artist... part-time beer model. What do you do, friend?

    • HappyFinger

      HappyFinger

      2 years ago

      You seem to appreciate food.

      • HappyFinger

        HappyFinger

        2 years ago

        Oh, I see! That sounds exciting, and incredibly delicious.

      • Steffasaurus

        Steffasaurus

        2 years ago

        I am doing a yearlong project on the national food holidays.

    • MadCatKaine

      MadCatKaine

      2 years ago

      Happy Birthday!

    • Joshua

      Joshua

      2 years ago

      Happy birthday!

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